Realistic Stress: How to Cope With It?

[ILADVOCATE]

I have a very realistic stressful occassion coming up which is a hearing as regards my eligibility for a home attendant. I would rather not detail why I was denied and what the grounds for appeal are but I have the proper documentation and the hearing is homebound via TTY. I have no problem representing other people but self representation is unnerving. I know some of what it is triggering is neurological but there is some standard rapid cycling along with it. What is most stressful to me is the judgment of family members isn't quite so stable either so although I have obtained helpful documentation how to present this and what to do is my own responsibility and as I am adjusting to a new medication that is clinically new to science I just want to relax but there generally is not possible for me. I know people can't offer specific advice nor would I request it but I know many of us have emotional trigger points or every day things that create set backs but the question is how to cope when the stress is real world and realistic and the responsibility something that you must do and you are out on a limb basically.

[ILADVOCATE]

Yes. Thanks. That does make sense. I had someone assist me in having the hearing adjourned to another date and will be seeking pro bono (free) representation. I actually know how to represent people in this regard but even other advocates I know in the past before I acquired my physical disability and became homebound have asked me for assistance in representation. In any kind of hearing one is ill advised to self represent. I'll work with someone I know to obtain representation and I'll discuss with the representative what to say. Then it will work out better, the decision will be more likely to be favorable and the stress will be greatly lessened as well. The severity of my specific neurological disability and the level of my mental recovery is still being documented itself but at a hearing they want something tangable to go on so I can work with the representative on how to present a known quantity they understand. Then it should be fine. When things get difficult the best thing (for anyone) is to stay pragmatic about it.

[Narnia41]

Having recently had to represent myself in a workplace discrimination case which I won, I can totally appreciate these situations can easily trigger episodes/rapid cycling.

My advice to you would be that the key thing is preparation.  If you have everything documented, dates etc, and can back any questions that may arise by showing evidence then that's the best way to succeed in every way.  So the best way to avoid this potential stress is to believe 100% in yourself and your abilities (you are very articulate so believe it!) and try to rise above any nasty challenges that may come your way.  

You know you deserve the attendant so believe it and this should come accross. I actually slightly enjoyed challenging my Employer and winning, it gave me a huge confidence boost so I hope this can happen for you too!  

Best of Luck to you

[paranoid_cataclysm]

Yeah that's true he is very educated and articulate.

[opus88]

its much more unnerving  when its ourselves we have to advocate for!!! I sympathize.

What I do in a similar situation is WRITE WRITE AND WRITE.....have tons of paper as there will be many scratch copies.
Get down everything u want to say and how u want to present it and in the most effective approach.
When u have read it over enough times to yourself and r comfortable with your words u will have more confidence in yourself ..even though ur already most informed abt the topic ur presenting u will be less stressed( and ready) in the event of a temporary 'brain freeze' ...because u will have your notes to consult..
I need to have everything in writing in front of me before ever attempting a one on one conversation that requires me to remember a point or respond quickly...I freeze, thats stress..
So yes IL do some deep breathing and go to a relaxing place within your own mind and have your notes right beside you, you'll be surprised at how calm u will be after you get started. You are very educated and articulate so believe in yourself now!
Good luck

[ILADVOCATE]

Actually yes I am in application for a personal assistant as due to the severity of my physical disability I require one to accompany me on Access A Ride which I was granted eligibility for. I can take care of myself at home as I informed them. For reasons that are either neurological (mentally even before I recovered I could keep track of dates and times) or due to the large amounts of medications I take to control the dystonic and other spasms from my physical disability, I completely forgot the fact that the date of the hearing was today and did not sit by the TTY to wait for the call to come in for the homebound hearing. So either that means starting over again but I'll see if I can have it adjourned to another date as I have some contacts that can potentially arrange that but I can't post further information. If I have to start over it would be a complete headache as it would delay my ability to get out and about other than walks in the neighborhood. I am going to have to find pro bono representation for sure but at least I have some good evidence from my neurologist and psychiatrist regardless. No one said life is fair but at least I can figure out what to do when things get tangled. I'll pull through. Thanks.

[peggy64]

Hi, I just wanted to make sure I am understanding this the way you are meaning it.
Is this for you to have  a personal attendent helping you? or is this something else. Not fully understanding I don't want to say anything until I do.

thanks....

[paranoid_cataclysm]

I used to have to put up with a group of people at work who lied about you and reported every little mess up you did in an attempt to get you fired and I'd been written up over them before and it sent me in to a paranoid fit.  So I swapped positions and now I don't have to put up with that sh*t anymore and there's even less work to do now.

[Xila31]

Well, I work every day and it gets pretty hard to deal with the stress. There are bosses and deadlines and patients. One of my triggers is that when I know what I am doing I like to be left alone to do it. Well, I have this one co-worker who demands that things go through her first. Some things I can understand, but when it is something basic that I know what I'm doing I don't see the point. We had a huge argument last week. I had to find myself a place to hide to vent it off because otherwise I wouldn't have made it through the day.

So right there is my advice. You need a place where you feel safe that you can go and just let some of that stress out. Be prepared before and after you go to to the hearing. Take some time to steady yourself for the stress. Afterward go and do something that you know personally releases your stress Even a journal or something might help. Or talk to a friend or family member if you can, or even your doctor. And just tell yourself over and over you have to do this and you can do it.

I'm sure you'll get through it just fine. Good luck!