Hissie

[lynnkay]

There are those on this forum that are going to recognize me and Hissie. I am not on here for any questions, my friends. I am just in a horrible position over Hissie. Hissie is still alive. And it is going against all I believe in. My husband will not have her put down. And I am so angry with him for making Hiss and me endure all we have for the last 1 1/2 yrs. Hissie has not been right since the intestional surgery Jan. 09. I have been through so much nursing this poor little animal. I am the one that has to know when she has a bowel movement, if she is eating etc. I am the one that picks up her little poops around the house and the one cleaning up the many times she vomits. And all my husband has to do is love her. If he loved her, he would have ended this cat's suffering many months ago.

Hiss has had some good periods sure. But, it is only because I make certain to dose her with her meds. Now, she is in one heck of a shape right now. And the meds are not working. Which I have told my husband over and over, this could well happen. We had several appointments to have her put down. And at the last minute Hissie would have a bowel movement. And of course, my husband then would refuse to put her down. I would tell him it will keep happening with her bowels. Does no good.

I am in a situation I don't know what to do about. Hissie is now 17. And I know she has arthritis real bad. Even on a good day, I can tell by the way she walks etc. And her back is very arched. She is very old. How can my husband be like this? My marriage is not the best right now. And my husband considers Hissie his cat. I want to go behind his back and have poor little Hissie put down. To stop this awful suffering. But, if I do it my husband will go off on me. And it just tears my heart all to pieces to see Hissie like she has been. I have been ready for months to let Hissie go. And all that recognize me on here know how I have nursed, been so worried and love Hissie. Right now I almost hate my husband for what he is doing to Hissie. And it is not fair to me either. I have a son that has been hospitalized 4 times since December. Plus, I have health issues myself. I am just exhausted.

It is hard to give up a beloved pet. They are family members. But, I will say to anyone, if you have a pet that is suffering and is not going to ever get well, know that you are making the right decision in ending that suffering.  I would never wish upon any sweet cat, what I am watching my precious Hissie endure.

[opus88]

another suggestion, when your husbands at work could you not take Hissie in and have her put down, lie lie lie, tell your husband Hiss had a medical emergency of some sore(?) severe yowling? seizure? projectile vomiting?...whatever. and say when you got him to the Vet there was nothing that could be done for the poor little soul. that way it wasn't your decision....it was a natural death as far as he's concerned. would that work with him?
I hope you are able to soon let Hiss have his peace dear.

[Jade59]

I wonder, do you think the other kids would be willing to meet with you and your husband  to do an intervention type thing.  Help DH to realize that keeping Hissie alive is cruel instead of loving?  

You know, my dad did this very thing with our last cat.  Just could not face what he was seeing with his own eyes.  Friskie should have been put down months before she passed in our back yard.  

Sending you loving hugs, honey.  I feel so sorry for you and this situation.

[Piparskeggr]

Heya;

Those who have read me for awhile may be surprised by this suggestion...

Have you approached your pastor?

Perhaps a gentle word or two from that direction will help.

My thoughts go out to you, Todd and Hissie.

Take care, of you, your son, your husband and the beloved little fur person...Pip

[LindaTX]

Yes, I agree.  If you go behind your husband's back he will never forgive you.  Is there a family member, other than yourself, or maybe the Vet who could talk to your husband and convince him it's the best and most humane thing to do....to let Hissie finally go and rest in peace.

[PrettyKitty1]

Hi Lynn,

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. This is not fair to you or Hissie. Thank you for the advice and I hope everyone reads this because it is definitely a lesson to learn.

(((HUGS)))

[teddybears4ever2]

When I first met my husband about 6 years ago he had a cat that was in bad shape.  He was all matted and had many health problems.  He was against putting him down.  One day after we talked gently to my husband, he agreed to put the cat down.  Looking at photos one day he said to me "I wish I would have put this cat down a long time ago."  I am thinking that it was at that minute that he realized just how sick the cat was.
See if you can find a way to talk to him about it without nagging him about the cat.  Explain to him that she will be in a better spot once she crosses the rainbow bridge.

[Jade59]

Hi hon, this is so heart wrenching and I'm well aware of the situation.  I have an idea, but will send it in a PM.

♥

[opus88]

hi Lynn and welcome back, I do remember you and all of Hissies problems.
I am so sorry for the troubles you are having and all the stress in your life. I do understand what you are saying too....we love our pets and we do all we can for them but there does come a time to say goodbye.
Your husband is being very selfish right now, perhaps this is as much about you and him and not necessarily about Hiss nor for Hissies best interests.
I can understand how you must feel seeing Hissie suffering for this long esp now that things are taking a turn for the worst, your right its not fair to you nor to him to prolong his life, it is exhausting looking after a sick pet while not well yourself, you have yourself and your son to consider too.
Lynn I can't tell you what to do, you know yourself what needs to be done but it is you who will suffer the repercussions which is so unfair.
I hope you can soon come to a resolution for this poor little creature. my heart goes out to you both(you and HIss)...
Please keep letting us know and God bless dear.