Well, if you have 3 males there will be constant issues with dominance between them. This is where all the spraying is coming in-ALL of them are marking the territory as their own. Are they fixed? If they're not, then the spraying problem will greatly improve or stop if you get them fixed.
Your cats different personalities probably is the reason why they don't like to be held. That will be hard to change. Cats have different personalities just like we do! So some will like to be held, and others won't. Some kitties are more fearful than others, too. My cat really hates being held, but she's still sweet and will walk on me and head butt me. She's not a lap cat either, but she's lots of fun and still an affectionate kitty. You've just got to accept them the way they are. I'm sure each of them have other fun qualities that you can enjoy!
Here's something interesting about cat spraying on you-tube:
How to stop your cat spraying indoors - Barking Mad - BBC Pets
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWEZoJzIyIE
The "going" wherever sounds like spraying. Is it on the side of the walls and things they urnate on?
As far as being held Waldo doesn't like being held either. He's grown to tolerate it, but you have to take it in baby steps and put themn down when they want it. Gradually lengthen the time you hold the cat. But even still some cats no matter what don't enjoy being held.
Have you tried playing with your cat? You can throw different cat toys or dangle a string, etc...