Emotional regulation

[russety]

Been living with inoperable Chiari Malformation since birth, am 30 now. Experience no pain, but I am wheelchair bound and due to a scoliosis, syringomyelia, and pneumonia ravaged lungs from early childhood, I'm in a fairly sorry state. Happy though, content.

I've a question. Do y'all experience issues with emotional regulation? Reason I'm asking is that my dad died two weeks back. Everyone around me is an emotional wreck, even people that purportedly weren't fond of him. Then there's me, his son, who admittedly wasn't too close to him, but I'm here feeling almost no emotions whatsoever. I get nostalgic, and at times mildly sad, or I guess bummed out would be more accurate, but that is the extent of it. It was the same when our dog died, I felt extremely little. Though in that instance 6 months later I did have a cry after looking at some photos.

This extends to more than just a lack of grief, I'm not sure I feel love or strong emotions. It's as if everything with regards to that area is simply muted, under a haze, everything happening to me is happening to someone else and I'm a step back, detached. I can still laugh at comedy, I can still cry at films (Coco destroyed me), but it's like there's no solid connection with the real world.

At first I thought it was perhaps a coping mechanism in order to distance myself from everything that has happened to me medically and my situation as a whole, but the recent passing of my father has put it into a stark light.

[selmaS]

Hi and welcome to the Chiari forum.

I had the opposite problem....I cried more then the widow and I only knew her not her husband that passed....very odd how our emotions are triggered and to what end.
May I ask why your calling your Chiari inoperable....??

My deepest sympathies on the loss of your father, May 6th will be one year since mine passed...and I will confess I was more calm that I was at that service I mentioned earlier...which again I agree may seem odd, BUT, I know my dad's suffering is over and I know he is at peace , so the contentment I felt I feel is justified in that way...yes I cried and I mourned, But I also have faith we will meet again.

[russety]

Thank you very much, do appreciate it

Due to a rough foreceps delivery at birth I've a lot of scar tissue around the area where the chiari is present. When diving in they couldn't differentiate scar tissue from brain, so there was no way the could do what they needed to without potentially giving me a lobotomy. It didn't really matter in the end though, the inoperable syringomylia is the bit that is the issue, not so much the chiari now

[selmaS]

Goodness, you do have a bit going on,....the Syringomyelia, can't they use a stent? What area is the syrinx?