12 Year Old Adhd Son w/ Inappropriate Sexual Gestures
Im a single mom raising two kids, a son who is almost 12 and a daughter who is almost 8. My son was diagnosed ADHD when he was 8 years old and has been on medication to help him with school. I dont like giving him medication all the time so on his vacations, weekends or summer, I try not to give him meds very often. I have noticed that during the times he is w/out his medication, yes, being adhd, he is much more impulsive BUT i have also noticed the pre-puberty behaviours starting also. However, he tends to take those a step further. He will repeatedly come out of his room thrusting his croch back and forth and grabbing himself (with clothes on) with his 7 year old sister in the room. He talks about inappropriate body parts as if he is joking around. I have told him on many occasions that this is not appropriate. Last week, he tried to touch MY crotch as well as would come up behind me "humping" me from behind. I am a 40 year old mom. I am very aware of boy behaviours, especially during the puberty years. however, even though Ive gotten mad at him and told him what he is doing is very unexceptable to me AND in front of his sister, he still just doesnt seem to "get" the severity of what he is doing. Are these actions/behaviours normal for a boy going through puberty and if so, are there any suggestions that can help me get him to see he needs to stop these actions? His dad is NOT a role model and is no help whatsoever so Im a WOMAN trying to teach a BOY what is right and wrong. I'd appreciate any advice on this because when he was showing these behaviours, it alarmed me and raised a red flag to see if this is normal or abnormal behaviour. I also wondered if, since he is adhd, and tends to be alot more impulsive when off his meds, if this just goes hand in hand with him having a hard time diciphering appropriate and non appropriate behaviours. Thank you for any advice given!!
Such behavior is beyond what can be regarded as normal, even in a boy at the outset of puberty. It is likely that his baseline impulsivity is exacerbating the problem. You might speak with his precribing clincian about having him use his medication daily, since it apparently is a benefit to him. Besides talking with him about his inapprorpiate, sexualized behavior, he should be disciplined for such behavior. For example (and it is only an example), let's say he likes to play video games. You can let him know that any such behavior will result in his losing his video games for 24 hours. Another way of saying this is that he will 'earn' his video games by behaving in a suitable fashion.
THANK YOU so much for responding!!! This information you provided does help alot! I do believe discipline is good for kids but in this situation, since its a new behaviour, I wasnt sure if this was normal for a boy going into puberty or if it was beyond that! I knew in my own mind that the actions were not appropriate but didnt know if I should discipline him for it either. Yes, he does love video games and that is exactly what I use, other than grounding, to discipline him when he's out of line! He HATES having those taken away so its a good tool to use to get him to behave properly! The choice of not giving him his meds on the weekends and vacations was MY choice. His Pyschiatrist prescribes his meds to be taken every day. I just dont like giving a bunch of pills to a kid and dont like so much medication given to them but you are correct. Im definately seeing that it would be the best idea to start giving the meds to him every day. He has a horrible time w/ not eating when on his meds which bothers me because I dont want him to waste away. When I dont give him his meds, he tends to eat very well! Until we get past this whole impulsive/puberty behaviour however, I may just need to give it to him every day. Hoping he matures and outgrows his impulsiveness like I learned to do but some never do I heard. Thanks again for your advice! it was very helpful in helping me decifer what is normal and what crosses the line!
Hi I also have a 11 yr old son who is ADHD.. He is on meds.. Just from previous experience you should never ever discontinue giving there meds at any time. Was told by my son Dr. That it's more harmful.. The meds help with making good choice, there impulsive behavior and so much more.. Just wanted to put my option up.. Thanks
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