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2-year-old masterbating
Hi,
I have a question pertaining to my 2-year-old and her habit of masterbating. This is so embarrassing for me and my husband.
Ever since she was around a year old (a little younger maybe, too) she has been...uh...how to say this...doing various things in order to feel a certain something *down there*. At first, we noticed she was pushing and rubbing against the thing that goes between the legs on the highchair. She would get herself going (pushing and rubbing) so much that she'd break out in a sweat, breathe heavily, and then at the end look like she was completely tired out (much like we all do after a romp in the hay). It was so embarrasing if we were with any friends or family.
As time went on, she was doing the same thing in her carseat against the part that goes between her legs. We've taken her out of the highchair, but she still finds ways to do this. She'll sit on the steps or on one of the small kid size chairs we have and squeeze her legs together while pointing her toes, and just move her hips up and down until she gets what she wants. Thank goodness she hasn't figured out she can do the same thing with her hands.
I can tell you that she has never been in a situation where anyone has touched her inappropriately. The only babysitters she has ever had are my parents and I know they haven't done anything. Her father and I are just mortified (especially him) and don't know what to do. We've scolded her for it and she just gets mad and screams and then goes back to doing it once we quit watching her. I thought maybe it was a stress reliever for her, but now I'm noticing that she's doing it at any time of the day...stressed or not.
Has anyone here had experience with something like this? I've researched and can't really find info on what to do with a 2 year old. She doesn't exactly understand me saying to only do this in her room when alone (like I've read in other advice given). I don't want to punish her and give her a complex about her sexuality for later when it's appropriate (with her future husband).
What would you do in this situation??? Help! We're even hesitant to put her in the church nursery for fear she might do this there!
I have a question pertaining to my 2-year-old and her habit of masterbating. This is so embarrassing for me and my husband.
Ever since she was around a year old (a little younger maybe, too) she has been...uh...how to say this...doing various things in order to feel a certain something *down there*. At first, we noticed she was pushing and rubbing against the thing that goes between the legs on the highchair. She would get herself going (pushing and rubbing) so much that she'd break out in a sweat, breathe heavily, and then at the end look like she was completely tired out (much like we all do after a romp in the hay). It was so embarrasing if we were with any friends or family.
As time went on, she was doing the same thing in her carseat against the part that goes between her legs. We've taken her out of the highchair, but she still finds ways to do this. She'll sit on the steps or on one of the small kid size chairs we have and squeeze her legs together while pointing her toes, and just move her hips up and down until she gets what she wants. Thank goodness she hasn't figured out she can do the same thing with her hands.
I can tell you that she has never been in a situation where anyone has touched her inappropriately. The only babysitters she has ever had are my parents and I know they haven't done anything. Her father and I are just mortified (especially him) and don't know what to do. We've scolded her for it and she just gets mad and screams and then goes back to doing it once we quit watching her. I thought maybe it was a stress reliever for her, but now I'm noticing that she's doing it at any time of the day...stressed or not.
Has anyone here had experience with something like this? I've researched and can't really find info on what to do with a 2 year old. She doesn't exactly understand me saying to only do this in her room when alone (like I've read in other advice given). I don't want to punish her and give her a complex about her sexuality for later when it's appropriate (with her future husband).
What would you do in this situation??? Help! We're even hesitant to put her in the church nursery for fear she might do this there!
Perhaps you should post this in the Doctor-to-Patient Child Behavioral Health forum as well, so you can get a doctor's perspective about this.
I've been trying to do that since yesterday, but it keeps telling me that forum is full. So, I thought I'd try here for some general ideas about our problem. Thanks.
That's odd about the Doc-to-Patient forum. Keep trying, just so you can definitely get professional medical advice about this.
I can try to offer some advice, but I'm probably about as confused as you are about your situation.
What I'd do, if I had that problem with my two yr old son, is sit him down immediately after catching him in the act (if it was in an inappropriate place or time, otherwise, I'd just ignore it), and tell him that sometimes he just CANNOT do that, and next time he would do that at an inappropriate time, I'd put him in time out.
The best comparable example I can think of with my son, however, is with spitting. He loves to spit, but I don't allow him to do it at other people or when we're out in public. At home, he can spit when he's in the tub or outside all he wants to.
A two-yr-old is old enough to understand when certain actions or words can be used at some times, but not others. But you have to be consistent with letting her know when those inappropiate times are. For example, when you have friends over--if she starts doing that in front of them, remove her from their presence, take her somewhere private, sit her down, and tell her that if she does that again, she will go to time out. She can continue if she wants *after* the friends go home.
Or in church nursery--tell the babysitters the situation (if you feel they must know), and tell them to come and get you if she starts doing that. Then take her into a private hallway, bathroom, or whatever, and tell her that if she does it again while she's at church, you are going to take her home and put her in time out. Then *follow through* if she does it again. She will not have forgotten that you told her about the time out--children between one and five years old have an excellent memory span that can last from from three hours to days or months at a time.
But give her the freedom to do that if it's in the privacy of your home, and only you and your husband have to deal with it. At this young age, maybe you don't have to send her to her room, but perhaps instead you could tell her that you don't want to see her do that, so would she please go around a corner or under a table or something. Then she won't feel like you're trying to "get rid of her" when she doesn't understand what she's doing. All she knows is that it feels good. But she needs to have the concept of appropriate times to do that. She's not too young to learn that.
I hope this helps. I could be really off base on this kind of situation.
I can try to offer some advice, but I'm probably about as confused as you are about your situation.
What I'd do, if I had that problem with my two yr old son, is sit him down immediately after catching him in the act (if it was in an inappropriate place or time, otherwise, I'd just ignore it), and tell him that sometimes he just CANNOT do that, and next time he would do that at an inappropriate time, I'd put him in time out.
The best comparable example I can think of with my son, however, is with spitting. He loves to spit, but I don't allow him to do it at other people or when we're out in public. At home, he can spit when he's in the tub or outside all he wants to.
A two-yr-old is old enough to understand when certain actions or words can be used at some times, but not others. But you have to be consistent with letting her know when those inappropiate times are. For example, when you have friends over--if she starts doing that in front of them, remove her from their presence, take her somewhere private, sit her down, and tell her that if she does that again, she will go to time out. She can continue if she wants *after* the friends go home.
Or in church nursery--tell the babysitters the situation (if you feel they must know), and tell them to come and get you if she starts doing that. Then take her into a private hallway, bathroom, or whatever, and tell her that if she does it again while she's at church, you are going to take her home and put her in time out. Then *follow through* if she does it again. She will not have forgotten that you told her about the time out--children between one and five years old have an excellent memory span that can last from from three hours to days or months at a time.
But give her the freedom to do that if it's in the privacy of your home, and only you and your husband have to deal with it. At this young age, maybe you don't have to send her to her room, but perhaps instead you could tell her that you don't want to see her do that, so would she please go around a corner or under a table or something. Then she won't feel like you're trying to "get rid of her" when she doesn't understand what she's doing. All she knows is that it feels good. But she needs to have the concept of appropriate times to do that. She's not too young to learn that.
I hope this helps. I could be really off base on this kind of situation.
How you are responding to this "dilemma" says more about your own attitudes about sexuality and masturbation than anything.
A 2-year-old masturbates because they *can.* It feels good to them, just like playing, running, jumping, and all kinds of motor play feels good to them. It's perfectly normal. A couple of ways to deal with this are to either ignore it, or distract her from it. I doubt that 2-year-olds care much about "privacy issues" and that it's imporotant only to play with themselves "behind closed doors." "Scolding" her won't get you anywhere, and most probably will exacerbate the problem. For one thing, she will be picking up the message that what she is doing is "wrong" or "bad." Yikes. It's neither one of those things, so it's not recommended to start sending THAT message so early in her development. So just ignore it if that's possible.
Sorry, but 2-year-olds just don't have a concept of sexuality or orgasms or anything like that. They are doing it because it feels good. It falls into the same category as picking their nose or doing some other repetitive behavior that toddlers often do just because it is soothing, enjoyable, or pleasurable. Period. If she has a favorite toy or plaything, distract her with that.
As an aside, I find it interesting that you have already made the assumption that your daughter will be heterosexual.
A 2-year-old masturbates because they *can.* It feels good to them, just like playing, running, jumping, and all kinds of motor play feels good to them. It's perfectly normal. A couple of ways to deal with this are to either ignore it, or distract her from it. I doubt that 2-year-olds care much about "privacy issues" and that it's imporotant only to play with themselves "behind closed doors." "Scolding" her won't get you anywhere, and most probably will exacerbate the problem. For one thing, she will be picking up the message that what she is doing is "wrong" or "bad." Yikes. It's neither one of those things, so it's not recommended to start sending THAT message so early in her development. So just ignore it if that's possible.
Sorry, but 2-year-olds just don't have a concept of sexuality or orgasms or anything like that. They are doing it because it feels good. It falls into the same category as picking their nose or doing some other repetitive behavior that toddlers often do just because it is soothing, enjoyable, or pleasurable. Period. If she has a favorite toy or plaything, distract her with that.
As an aside, I find it interesting that you have already made the assumption that your daughter will be heterosexual.
A 2-yr old should not be masterbating... period! I would get medical or therapy help for this child. That is not normal at all.
A 2-yr old touches themselves "down there" because they're exploring but not going to the extent that your child does. There is no way a 2-yr old knows about masterbating unless someone has touched her in her private or has shown her something or she's seen something on her own...
I can tell you why that concerns me soooooo much... I was sexually abused as a child. I can tell you that I was doing the same thing at 3-yrs old but in a little different way. The ONLY way I knew about that was because someone was touching me in my private area.
I am not saying that your child is being sexually abused but I am telling you that she's seen something or someone has showed her something in her little 2-yrs of life.
P.S. - don't always trust close family members either... you never know... some family members very close to us are the ones that did the touching on me and never in a million years would anyone have ever thought that.
Get help immediately or things will get worse on her part and you'll have a lot of problems down the road!
I fortunately got help at an early age (16) and I am fine now.
A 2-yr old touches themselves "down there" because they're exploring but not going to the extent that your child does. There is no way a 2-yr old knows about masterbating unless someone has touched her in her private or has shown her something or she's seen something on her own...
I can tell you why that concerns me soooooo much... I was sexually abused as a child. I can tell you that I was doing the same thing at 3-yrs old but in a little different way. The ONLY way I knew about that was because someone was touching me in my private area.
I am not saying that your child is being sexually abused but I am telling you that she's seen something or someone has showed her something in her little 2-yrs of life.
P.S. - don't always trust close family members either... you never know... some family members very close to us are the ones that did the touching on me and never in a million years would anyone have ever thought that.
Get help immediately or things will get worse on her part and you'll have a lot of problems down the road!
I fortunately got help at an early age (16) and I am fine now.
I am so fed up with the outlook people have on children's sexuality! People see it as an unhealthy or dirty thing, and it isn't! You said that your daughter hasn't been molested, well of course she hasn't! Childhood masterbation is not a sign of any sort of sexual abuse. What your daughter is doing is perfectly normal, and if you think about it, understandable. Children, although not sexually mature, are sexual. Of course they have no sex drive like adults, but they can still experience errotic feelings. Pretty much all children do this, I know I did from an early age and I think if you remember hard enough, I think you have too. Children can experience orgasms at 5 months.
It is clear to me that you have some prejudices about masterbation, I'm guessing you had some closed minded parents who are probably extreamly religious. It's time you learnt the truth so not to pass on these incorrect teachings to your daughter.
Trust me, you won't get her to stop. If you do, you'll do more harm then good. When your daughter grows up and relates masterbation to sex, she'll get the idea that sex is bad or dirty. Trust me, this will cause problems in future relationships. I understand that it can be a problem if your daughter does this in front of other people. At 2 years old, you won't be able to reason with her. I'm afraid you will have to put up with it for now. Once your daughter gets a little older, you should teach her that masterbation is perfectly ok, but shouldn't be done in front of other people. You should teach her to do it in her room, this may feel a little strange at first but it's the best way.
Please for the sake of your daughter, do not punish her for doing something that every child does.
Your daughter isn't going to harm herself by masterbating, and it will not cause any problems in the future. Listen to what I said and your daughter will grow up to be a perfectly normal, sexually healthy girl.
Don't listen to other people when they said that a 2 year old shouldn't be masterbating. They have no idea what they are talking about.
Sorry for the nature of my post but I am so fed up about what religion has taught us about sex and masterbation. It has caused too many problems and it's a time we put a stop to it.
It is clear to me that you have some prejudices about masterbation, I'm guessing you had some closed minded parents who are probably extreamly religious. It's time you learnt the truth so not to pass on these incorrect teachings to your daughter.
Trust me, you won't get her to stop. If you do, you'll do more harm then good. When your daughter grows up and relates masterbation to sex, she'll get the idea that sex is bad or dirty. Trust me, this will cause problems in future relationships. I understand that it can be a problem if your daughter does this in front of other people. At 2 years old, you won't be able to reason with her. I'm afraid you will have to put up with it for now. Once your daughter gets a little older, you should teach her that masterbation is perfectly ok, but shouldn't be done in front of other people. You should teach her to do it in her room, this may feel a little strange at first but it's the best way.
Please for the sake of your daughter, do not punish her for doing something that every child does.
Your daughter isn't going to harm herself by masterbating, and it will not cause any problems in the future. Listen to what I said and your daughter will grow up to be a perfectly normal, sexually healthy girl.
Don't listen to other people when they said that a 2 year old shouldn't be masterbating. They have no idea what they are talking about.
Sorry for the nature of my post but I am so fed up about what religion has taught us about sex and masterbation. It has caused too many problems and it's a time we put a stop to it.
My two year old recently started doing this. I freaked out and was about to dial 911 because I though she was having a seizure lying on the floor except she was responsive. She would become very angry when I tried to pick her up. I called her pediatrition who is out on maternity leave and couldnt get her in. I am very relieved to have done some research and am realizing this is much more common than I could have imagined at this age. I just dont want anyone poking at her or probing her for no reason. I have done lots of research in the past week and the test cases that I have seen that have been done on these kids is not what I want to put her through if this is at all normal behavior. My question is when do you consider it an obsessive behavior. Or when do you know if this something eles. I too know my child has not been abused in anyway and my mother watches her during the day so she is not out of our care at any time. It is embarrasing and I dont know how to explain to guests or church day care without them looking at her different or thinking there something wrong with her. It would need to be explained to anyone watching my child or they could possibly dial 911 thinking she is having a seizure.
I have read a lot on this subject also. How many times have you seen 1 or 2 or 3 year olds in any other household doing this? Not many, I would imagine. This behavior is obsessive and NOT normal. Some mastubation is of course norman, but not to this extent. She is showing signs of other syndroms, possibly Asperger's, Bi-Polar, Autism, ADD. Check out all these things before you just chalk it up as normal. This is rare, not common. And those people who say it is, are not paying much attention to children or have not been around them much. Make sure she is ok in these areas first. If she checks out ok, then good! Then I wouldn't worry about it. Just make sure.
I agree with Lonnamaria this is not normal in a child of that age ,go and see your Doctor and ask him first,and it is one of the signs someone has been doing it to them, It has become a habit, dont punish her though its never the childs fault remember, be more osservant and check out how she beahves with other people even Family around, you could get a clue.
This is a comment to "concerned123_23". My husband and I have noticed it on our child too. We caught her doing it when she was about 1.5 years old. It all started when she got her first basketball. She would lay on it, squeeze her legs and lift her hips up and down. She would break out is so much sweat. We ignored it at first but then we have noticed that she started doing so much of it and for long period of time. So we finally took the ball away from her and she stopped. Then couple months later she started again. We have noticed that whenever she was bored she would do it. So she would lay down on the floor, put her hands between her legs and lift her hips up then down. Again she would break into sweat. We were embarrassed, confused and didn't know what to do. We tried researching it online but couldn't find anything. It didn't look like she was hurting and every time we tried to stop her she would get mad. Than the behavior stopped again. She is 2 years old now and the behavior is back. This time she would do it anywhere. In the car seat while I'm driving, she would try to squeeze her legs and point her toes up, break out in so much sweat, when we are home she would do the same thing on the couch. I just don't know what else to do. My husband is scared that it may be something wrong. My mom says she is probably doing it because it feels good and comfortable. Then I came across this website and found out that she is not the only one with this behavior. Reading some of the posts above I do want to make it clear to all of you that ever since my daughter was born and up to now I was the only one watching her. There has NEVER EVER been any abuse of any kind, my daughter has been with me all the time, she has had her own bedroom since she was born so she NEVER EVER saw my husband and I making love, I wanted to make that clear too. My husband and I decided to take her in and have a EEG done just to make sure that she is not experiencing any seizures. Doctor suggested a MRI, but I'm scared of doing that because she has to be heavily sedated because of her age in order to do a MRI. If anyone has taken their child in for this and have any tests done, please let me know what was the outcome of it. I hope it's just a normal behavior and nothing serious.
To think anything is wrong with this child is rediculous. I am a mother, an aunt, and also a teacher and this is not shocking behavior at all. While working in a daycare center I would see girls (I have never seen boys do this) during nap time masturbating. I think it is more common in girls because all they need to do is rub that area accidentally and they discover the possibilities. My niece always did it when she was tired. When she was very young, like 2-3, we would just try to distract her from what she was doing if it was in an inappropriate place. Once she was 4 we explained to her that it is ok to touch her own body but that it is not ok to do it in front of people, it should be done in private. As far as we know, she is now 6, the behavior has stopped. Don't worry. It won't last forever.
I agree with Nic306! For everyone on here who thinks your daughter must have been molested, they need to take a simple course in child psychology or even google it before they post such ridiculous remarks. I even saw someone say it's interesting that you're assuming your daughter will be heterosexual?! Who assumes their child will be homosexual?! I have nothing against people who are gay, but heterosexual people automatically assume that their child will be the same...especially at two years old. Do homosexual people assume that their children will also be gay?
Now, I have a 2-year-old son who is not displaying any of this behavior at this point in time, so I don't have any experience in what exactly I would do in your position. I agree with the others who say it's best to try to distract her...however, that might be difficult to do. What does she do if you pull her out of her highchair while this is going on? Does she cry and get upset, or is she OK?
You can't reason with a 2-year-old, so giving her consequences is not going to work at this point. My vote is for trying to distract her. You're doing the right thing by not scolding her for it. I thought your original post was great as you seem to be taking the right approach to the situation. Good job and good luck! :)
Now, I have a 2-year-old son who is not displaying any of this behavior at this point in time, so I don't have any experience in what exactly I would do in your position. I agree with the others who say it's best to try to distract her...however, that might be difficult to do. What does she do if you pull her out of her highchair while this is going on? Does she cry and get upset, or is she OK?
You can't reason with a 2-year-old, so giving her consequences is not going to work at this point. My vote is for trying to distract her. You're doing the right thing by not scolding her for it. I thought your original post was great as you seem to be taking the right approach to the situation. Good job and good luck! :)
Oh for goodness sakes! I agree with most of the posters who are saying that this is typical normal behaviour. You cannot say that a child has been molested simply because they are masturbating. Is it a possibility? Of course...it's a possibility for any child...but masturbation alone is not sufficient enough to say that she has been molested. If that were the case, there would be many more caregivers being investigated by CYF or CAS because of suspicion of child molestation. Masturbation is a normal part of child development...nothing more, nothing less.
Also, it's a little early to suggest that she may have aspergers, add, etc, such as lonnamaria06 suggested. It's true that some kids who have a diagnosis on the PDD spectrum do repetitive things to self-stimulate...but consider that if she's still doing repetive self-soothing behaviours when she's 5 or 6...also like molestation...it takes much more than this behaviour to determine something along the PDD spectrum. With PDD spectrum disorder, you would primarily be looking at social skills, making eye contact, development, etc.
I don't have children myself yet...but I am a clinical social worker that specializes in working with children and adolescents and I have many nieces and nephews as well. So, i would like to think that I know a thing or two about normal child development.
If it bothers you that much, ignore the behavior or distract her like some other posters said. If she continues to do this when she's older, then have a chat with her about privacy and the importance of limiting these behaviours to the bathroom or her bedroom. Relax, i know this can be alarming to many parents...ignore it as much as possible. i believe she will grow out of it. Particulalry once her social world begins expanding through preschool, day care, etc.
Also, it's a little early to suggest that she may have aspergers, add, etc, such as lonnamaria06 suggested. It's true that some kids who have a diagnosis on the PDD spectrum do repetitive things to self-stimulate...but consider that if she's still doing repetive self-soothing behaviours when she's 5 or 6...also like molestation...it takes much more than this behaviour to determine something along the PDD spectrum. With PDD spectrum disorder, you would primarily be looking at social skills, making eye contact, development, etc.
I don't have children myself yet...but I am a clinical social worker that specializes in working with children and adolescents and I have many nieces and nephews as well. So, i would like to think that I know a thing or two about normal child development.
If it bothers you that much, ignore the behavior or distract her like some other posters said. If she continues to do this when she's older, then have a chat with her about privacy and the importance of limiting these behaviours to the bathroom or her bedroom. Relax, i know this can be alarming to many parents...ignore it as much as possible. i believe she will grow out of it. Particulalry once her social world begins expanding through preschool, day care, etc.
I'm so glad I found this forum. It makes me feel so much better that other moms have seen this behavior too and it is nothing more then a normal child development. Those are some great advices. I'm a first time mom so all of this is new to me. Thank you!!!!
Children masterbate all the time usually most won't do it in front of other people but I have known people that their children did the same thing especially boys..Maybe she is very sensitive down there and since it feels good she does it because she can.I know this maybe a little more expensive but try double layering her diapers for a while or put a woman's pad in her diaper and put it on tight enough so she cant get her hands in her pants and the pad will keep her from feeling as much..Kinda soften the blow if you know what I mean...Get inventive with kids you never know what you may have to do to try things out with them to discourage them from certain things ....Hope this helps Bri
Well your daughter is completely normal. I had the same masterbation behaviour since I was less than 2 years old. I am now a 36 years old woman.
For such a long time I believed I was not normal and sick only until a few years I have visited a child behaviour website and leart it was a normal thing and it does happen to some of the toddlers. It was a great relief to me.
But what happened has destroyed my relation with my parents. I guess I was an embarrassment to them at that time. They were shouting at me and talked to me in a disgusted way as if I was doing something really dirty in order to stop me doing it. I started doing it secretly when I was about 5-6 years old. For so many years I have lived under the shadow of my abnormal behaviour. I believed I was a shame to my parents. I started to act as a rebellion to my family as a teenager.
Of course I am getting older now and leart to forgive. I tried to make up with my parents. We are okay now but we never talked about the problem I had. I love my parents and we are now just like any other normal families but deep down there is always something in the way.
For such a long time I believed I was not normal and sick only until a few years I have visited a child behaviour website and leart it was a normal thing and it does happen to some of the toddlers. It was a great relief to me.
But what happened has destroyed my relation with my parents. I guess I was an embarrassment to them at that time. They were shouting at me and talked to me in a disgusted way as if I was doing something really dirty in order to stop me doing it. I started doing it secretly when I was about 5-6 years old. For so many years I have lived under the shadow of my abnormal behaviour. I believed I was a shame to my parents. I started to act as a rebellion to my family as a teenager.
Of course I am getting older now and leart to forgive. I tried to make up with my parents. We are okay now but we never talked about the problem I had. I love my parents and we are now just like any other normal families but deep down there is always something in the way.
well the bottom line TO ME that the behavior is unacceptable- maybe it feels good to bite her dog- maybe it feels good to play in feces and I think we would all agree it would still be deemed acceptable>/ Certainly not- feels good: do it- just not my motto- Some people have that motto.......
the child is not obeying- no matter whether it is picking her nose or hitting or sticking out her tongue- in public the mom says- it is considered unacceptable behavior- and when mom says she needs to stop any unacceptable behavior whether the child likes it or not- he/she needs to obey
the child is not obeying- no matter whether it is picking her nose or hitting or sticking out her tongue- in public the mom says- it is considered unacceptable behavior- and when mom says she needs to stop any unacceptable behavior whether the child likes it or not- he/she needs to obey
It Is ridiculous how these people read "evidence of sexual abuse" into situations like this and argue that a 2 year old should not be exploring the sensitive parts of their bodies full stop. Of course they should - that's what humans do, at all ages. There's nothing wrong with her doing this, per se.
But if she does embarrass you "publicly" by playing with herself, you have the right to punish her for it, so long as you make it clear that this is about private/public boundaries, and how her actions impact upon others.
But if she does embarrass you "publicly" by playing with herself, you have the right to punish her for it, so long as you make it clear that this is about private/public boundaries, and how her actions impact upon others.
I would almost bet that those of you who say that these children have some kind of issues or ADD have not had children themselves. Children are pure and innocent and if they are doing acts like this it is because it is human nature to discover certain feelings. Its the adults that have issues. The ones that try to say these children are abnormal. Children are a gift of God and do not get corrupted until growing into adults. I am on this page because my 3 year old recently started doing the same thing. WE as PARENTS are lost as to handle the situation. And there is no one out there that can convince me that my 3 year old needs treatment. You on the other hand, maybe treatment or a child of your own. I never would have thought this sort of thing normal either but after questioning it and asking around I realize that most parents have seen or experienced this in one way or another. Biting a dog and playing in feces is not normal for a child or adult. But adults act in sexual behavior and children learn a curiosity about it. Feces and dog biting??? That is not even relavent to the subject.
I have noticed that my daughter is doing the "masturbation " thing. I've seen it about 3 times before yesterday. When I seen it yesterday I was on my computer and my couch is behind me. My 3 1/2 year old came and laid on the couch then started squeezing her legs together, trembling, her eyes rolling, and looking like she was "you know what". I did not say anything because I knew that would frighten her and she would run. Since I noticed it 3 times before I needed to find out what was going on. When I turned and looked at her she grabbed her blanket and ran into my room. I said "OK" to myself and waited 2-3 minutes before I went to the room to see what she was doing. She was watching cartoons, laying on the bed (sideways) shaking her legs, putting her head up and down, eyes rolling and such....I stood there to make sure what I was seeing was what I was seeing and walked into the room......I am a single parent and my daughter has been in daycare and with her dads side of the family...without me. I have different views than most of those parents above. I FREAKED OUT!!!!! Every child is different. It is these parents that tell other parents that things are normal when 1. They do not know the parent 2. They do not know the child. Parents that children do this and they have not been in daycare or in anyone elses care OK THATS FINE your child picked up something and is doing something they didnt see?? So you did not go out with friends, on a date, to the hair salon, biking running without your child?? It only takes once.
Anyways ALL SITUATIONS ARE DIFFERENT TRUST YOUR INSTINCS NOT THIS WEBSITE OR ANYOTHER PARENTS.
My 1st reaction is who to "terminate", but my solution is how to help my daughter and this is my solution. 1. Ask her what she is doing and she said "She was going to sleep" obviously she knew what she was doing is wrong. HOW COULD A SHILD KNOW SOMETHING AS HUGE AS SEXUAL MASTURBATION IS WRONG?? 2. I asked her if anyone touched her down there. She said yes.....Then said her own name 3. I then asked her if any boys touched her down there. She said "No". 4. I aksed her to show me what she was doing....she showed me!!
My conclusion to this is....1. Make a doctors appointment to conclude all of what I now know to make sure my daughter is ok.
Not taking your child "JUST IN CASE" Is pure stupidity.
Anyways ALL SITUATIONS ARE DIFFERENT TRUST YOUR INSTINCS NOT THIS WEBSITE OR ANYOTHER PARENTS.
My 1st reaction is who to "terminate", but my solution is how to help my daughter and this is my solution. 1. Ask her what she is doing and she said "She was going to sleep" obviously she knew what she was doing is wrong. HOW COULD A SHILD KNOW SOMETHING AS HUGE AS SEXUAL MASTURBATION IS WRONG?? 2. I asked her if anyone touched her down there. She said yes.....Then said her own name 3. I then asked her if any boys touched her down there. She said "No". 4. I aksed her to show me what she was doing....she showed me!!
My conclusion to this is....1. Make a doctors appointment to conclude all of what I now know to make sure my daughter is ok.
Not taking your child "JUST IN CASE" Is pure stupidity.
How horrible and sad it is to see adults taking out their aggressions on these innocent babies. To condem them for touching themselves- It is unbelievable. I am sorry but kids are not stupid! If they discover that they themselves can induce any sort of pleasure they're gonna! It is not related to anything other than that!!! I think that it can also occur more often in kids that are bored.I could go on about all of this, but mostly I just can believe that this day in age people would label these kids as sexually disfunctional or screwed up ,wrong ,in trouble. I pray for the kids from families like that that they may have a shred of self confidence in there future!! Just outragous!! Just know how normal and human your children are!!!
I am 23. As long as I can remember, I have masturbated. I remember doing it as a child because it felt good. I would use whatever, a blanket, pillow, etc. I remember getting punished/yelled at when I was about 5 years old for doing it at grandma's and at school. I did not know/understand why I was getting in trouble, and basically I eventually just did it in private. I did not even know what an orgasm was until i was 15, but I was having them for a very long time before then, basically an orgasm helped me sleep, still does. As far as I know, I was never molested, and my mother did get me checked out once. I have an extremely high libido, and it is at times overwhelming even for my husband, but I suppose that is not a bad thing.
This is a 2 year old thread you have brought back you may not get any response from the original poster, maybe post a new thread if you want to air something ...
I agree with those who say its normal. Your daughter discovered something that gives her pleasure and is just doing it because she likes the feeling. No you shouldn't make her feel bad about it and punish her, like if she was torturing a dog, or trying to grab a boiling pot. It's not evil, it's not dangerous, it's just socially inappropriate. If she was a monkey, maybe it would be socially ok... And she can't understand social protocols yet, as she is just learning how to talk. So my recommendation is PAY MORE ATTENTION to her. If she is distracted, playing, having fun in other ways, interacting with people, she won't get a chance to get the ball rolling "down there". When she is older, tell her only to do that in the privacy of her own room, and well when she's even older, she herself will understand what she's doing.
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