3 year old being "bullied"?

My son is in a daycare facility.  His class has about 15 kids in it - about evenly distributed between girls and boys.  He'll be 3 in March, so he's right in the middle of the age range.  He is a good boy, and very "mellow" at school, not really roughhousing like the other boys do.  He sure does it at home with my husband, though!  I always thought he was pretty well adjusted, but over the past few weeks have found him to seem a bit sad at school (I can watch from CCTV cameras), and has been hit, pushed, bitten, hit with a toy, by other boys in the class.  Could this be just a roudy bunch of kids or is my son being targeted because he doesn't get physical with the kids (we have taught him the difference between roughhousing w/ daddy and not doing it at school).  it has gotten so bad that I document every time I see an incident becuase there are so many I have to address with the daycare.  What should I do - it kills me to see him appear sad at school and sort of stay on the outskirts of the rough boys...we tried to tell him to just tell the teacher or yell to get attention if someone is hurting him, but that doesn't seem to work!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Your description tends toward the conclusion that the children at the program are not being supervised in a sensible manner. While in any pre-school program there will be occasional episodes of aggression, if such episodes are occurring on a regular basis it is certainly an alarming situation. My guess is that your son will be much happier in a program that has fewer children in the group or, more importantly, sets firm limits about any physical aggression and thus maintains a safe and secure atmosphere. It's no wonder he appears sad if he is being subjected to such behavior. It is the responsibility of the adults to protect children from their own impulses and those of their peers.

[portuguese mom]

Find another daycare facility.