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5 year old kissing 3 year old's vagina.... Is this normal?
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5 year old kissing 3 year old's vagina.... Is this normal?

On two known occasions my five year old niece has been sexual with my three year old daughter and I am very concerned. My daughters father and I are no longer together so I cannot supervise these visits (believe me I would). On the second occasion the five year old cousin was caught kissing my less than three year old's vagina and was verbalizing next my daughter should kiss her on her butt.  Upon talking to my daughter she told me the cousin was kissing her butt and pp and she kissed hers too.  In the days that followed I noticed my daughter putting a bathtub crayon inside her vagina while taking a bath and touching her genitals more. I don't like my daughters behavior at all and feel helpless because my daughter's father says he supervises the visits BUT what the cousin did is completely normal behavior for a child (Her doctor said so, he says).  Ok, I accepted the first time (that I actually interrupted) it was normal even though I didn't like it. But that time she was touching my daughters genitals (cousin was 4, daughter was 2).  But to be placing your mouth on my daughter's vagina... is that normal for a five year old?  The second event was about 5 months ago and I haven't noticed any unordinary sexual behaviors for a long time until today.  Yesterday she visited this cousin with her father and this morning my grandmother saw her put a brush bottom at the entrance of her vagina while taking a bath. So answer me this... Is it considered molesting if the person is only five years old?  
I have had extensive talks with my daughter regarding private parts and appropriate touching so I do believe my daughter knows to say no and tell an adult.  As a result I have to believe it isn't still happening.  But is this behavior truly 'normal'?  Do 'normal' five year old's kiss younger children's vaginas.  I need to protect my daughter!
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13167_tn?1327197724
This behavior is normal,  in my opinion,  EXCEPT adults should be supervising.  

Where are the adults here????  It's like the adults disappear for long periods of time,  only to catch these children behaving sexually.

By the way,  what is a "brush bottom"?  

In this family,  adults need to be supervising the girls and not just arriving in time to interrupt completely inappropriate behavior.
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1350925_tn?1277388125
I agree it is normal. Children do it all the time. But yes,where are they adults? As for ur daughter sticking stuff in her vagina that too is normal. I wouldn't worry too much, but those girls really need to be supervised.
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Avatar_m_tn
brush bottom= brush handle, and i would be calling child services if this keeps persisting, as your ex is obviously not supervising these children and if this is going on at his or his familys home he could possibly be held resposible for this and he may end up having to have supervised visits as a father as well
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Avatar_f_tn
Everyone is saying it's normal yet asking "where are the adults?"  This not normal. and do not accept that it is!  The 5 year old is either having this done to her, or is seeing it, and this is where she is learning this behavior. "This behavior is normal?" " Adults should be supervising????"  "then the adults arrive only in time to interrupt completely inappropriate behavior"....which is it?  It's inappropriate and tell your husband you are going to speak with the pediatrician about this, and until then, no visits!  This has gone way beyong sexual exploration!  You are doing right in questioning all this, it's not normal and your daughter could suffer as a result.  I wish you luck!
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Avatar_m_tn
i 100% agree. touching themselves, and looking at other is somewhat normal, actually doing these things is not expecially for girls, boys are a bit diffrent as i have 2 of them and have takin my oldest to therapists about it.... definatly take ur baby girl in to get checked
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Avatar_f_tn
In regards to where are the adults, the first time they were playing in the play room.  After that time I supervised when i was around.  But since then me and her father have separated and he claims to be supervising and I stress it constantly but my hands are tied because I am not there.
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Avatar_f_tn
I also do not believe this is normal I have a daughter
And iv never seen this happen. I was sexually abused as
A child and my mother told me storys about me and my twin
Both touching our selves but never eachother.
Maybe you should take her to the hospital after every visit
To make sure she isn't being touched by anyone else.

That's just my opinion.
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Avatar_f_tn
Taking the little girl to the hospital, and what having her inspected, after every visit, that in it self would be a little traumatizing.
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Avatar_f_tn
I think that children show and tell is OK, materbating is Ok, but to actaully inject objects into themselves or into others is not.  Doesn't mean that they were abused but could they have witness adult sexual intercourse (porn or parents).  Or have they been a victim.  Teaching children about "good and bad" touch is good.  Set up an appt with a "play therapist" who can do an assessment without putting any ideas in their head or scaring them by asking leading questions.  Whating a child play with anatomically correct dolls can tell a lot.  allowing them to have free play not interactive play so that the therapist observes is also the best to see if there is any concern.  True some of it can be experiment but I would want to rule out any abuse.
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973741_tn?1342346373
No, this is not normal.  Curious behavior is normal--------- overt sexual behavior is not.  The five year old has most likely been molested and is repeating what was done to her.  Very sad.  Often a molested child will go on to molest another.  Sorry------- but I'd call my attorney and revoke privileges if your ex is not inclined to stop his child from getting together with the cousin.  Clearly just saying adult supervision isn't going to work as most people would supervise a 5 and 3 year old together and it is not being done.  You first priority is protecting your daughter.  Then I think someone needs to address that the 5 year old most likely has seen something (like porn or adults in the act) but since she is doing it like a game with the younger child------- I'd guess that she's had the "game" played with her.  


Kids do not need to be alone long enough to get their pants down. And if you can't count on dad to protect her--------- drastic measures are called for.
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Avatar_f_tn
thanks mammo!! finally a voice of reason!! Nothing about this is normall!!!
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757137_tn?1347200053
Your son may be imitating something he saw an adult male do. Keep your eyes open.
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Avatar_m_tn
Do forgive me for the worry i am about to cause you but this is a sign of an adult showing either the cousin or your daughter these types of actions or the father may be watching videos unsuitable for children and they happen to be watching it with him theres no doubt but this a behavior that an adult is showing them. As my 7 years innfoster care and my college expierience as a police officer i kmow molestation when i see it do somthing act fast or the credit will all be on you
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Avatar_f_tn
I'd have to agree this does not sound normal.  I think sexual exploration is normal but to go further with some form of insertion of an object.  If you think about it kid's girls in particular don't know or understand what their privates are for or what they do.  As a young girl you don't know the function of the vagina unless perhaps you've seen it on TV, watched a movie or it's been shown to you.  I am just giving my opinion here.  I think I would be concerned at this point and I would not allow my children near this cousin for now.
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