child behavior

[confusedmommy07]

i am currently in the navy and i have a 4 year old son who has been acting out at school. he just got kicked out of his previous pre school because they couldnt handle him anymore. and he has been at his new school for almost 2 weeks and already has 7 incident reports for being bad and not listening and hitting and fighting the teachers and students and the school doesnt know what to do they are trying to work with him but he doesnt even want to listen them. i even tried to bribe him to be good and that worked at first and now nothing helps i really dont know what else to do i am at a loss.  

[Sandman2]

   Ya, I think that missing you as margy said is a big part of this.  Do get the boos I mentioned.  I would also check out, "when i feel angry."  http://www.amazon.com/When-Feel-Angry-Way-Books/dp/0807588970/ref=pd_sim_b_11
   And there really are several other books like this that would be helpful like "When I miss you" or "know and follow rules".
   And I also think that visiting the school so you can see what is going on would be helpful to you.

[margypops]

See its simple he is missing you ...children of this age need their parents especially their moms ...nothing can change that fact...his behavior in my opinion wont alter till you are home with him ......

[confusedmommy07]

thank you and i a trying to.

[confusedmommy07]

yes he gets a good night sleep in bed at 715 and we get up early on weekdays at 530  but he is mostly bad at school nothing to serious. i have him scheduled for counseling.

[confusedmommy07]

no new siblings, at home he has his good days and bad days. depending how much i work that seems to trigger it.

[Sandman2]

   Couple of quick thoughts until we learn more.......Make sure he has a good nights sleep.
   There are sets of books aimed at this age group that are meant to be read aloud to them again and again and then talked about and practiced at home.  A good start would be 'hands are not for hitting" found here - http://www.amazon.com/Hands-Hitting-Ages-Best-Behavior/dp/1575420775
   And you will find many more if you scroll down.
   Also, and this is really important.  Do you have the same problems with him at home.  If you do, then something like ADHD is always possible and you can contact me here to discuss this - http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175
   If it primarily happens at school, then something else is going on.
   I would suggest visiting the school to observe him.  
    Oh, and by the way, at his age bribes will not work!   Kids of that age just don't have the ability to retain information long enough for a bribe about an action that may happen hours later to work.  Short term - say, in a supermarket, yea - anything much beyond that no way.  Also, punishment  at home for something that happened at school won't work.  You need to help him to change his behavior - which is one reason I recommended these books.

[BadKitten]

I agree, you need some professional help here, after already being removed from one school, & having so many incidents at the second. There are some great behavioral therapists that can help you get to the bottom of why this is happening & then help you resolve it. I hope things get better soon. Best of luck.

[Nighthawk61]

HI , sorry you are so confused by your son's inability to work well at school? How is he at home? Does he listen to you? Is his dad living with you? Do you get along with his father? For some reason your son is "acting out" and you need to get him to see a psychologist as soon as possible and find out why. You are not alone, there are professionals out there that can help you~

[margypops]

May I ask are you his mom or his Dad..Are you away for long periods that he may be upset not seeing you ?Apart from that has there been any happenings' in his life , new sibling, a move, is his other parent around in his life.What is he like at home ?