Aggresive little boy in preschool

[atbowling]

I have a four year old boy who is in daycare.  He has been in this daycare since he is 18 months old.  There is a little boy in his class that has had some emotional and social issues. He is STILL biting at four years old; he will be 5 in December.  He is violent and unpredictable, and he seems out of control to me.  Over the years I could give you a long laundry list of incidents and issues having to do with this one child.  The day care is taking the approach of calling the parent when he gets too out of hand.



It seems like this aggressive behavior maybe getting worse and almost calculated.  For instance, recently this boy walked up to another child and took a toy away from him.  In order to keep the child from retaliating to get the toy back he was kicked in the face.  I really feel like the aggressive boy prevented the other child from taking the toy back by hurting him.  Also a friend of my witnessed this boy bullying a couple of girls, the boy had his fist back like he was going to punch them.  The girls were afraid and huddled together and he continued to come toward them until he had backed them into a corner. The teacher prevented it from going any further.



I am to the point that I am afraid for my child's safety.  But, I don't know what to do.  My son recently started Pre-K program where I specifically requested this boy and my son be in different classes, but they have social times, lunch time and playground time as a group.  Yesterday I was told that this little boy bit my son on the rear end because he wouldn’t play with him.  How can the daycare want to keep this one child in their school?  To me he seems like such a liability.  I am sure since he is so difficult he drives away teachers as well as parents.  I don't know what to do.  I have told the center that I do not want my child to play with this little boy, but they aren't keeping them apart since yesterday my son was bit.  What can I do?

atbowling

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Ultimately you must do whatever is necessary to protect your son and assure his wellbeing. Apparently your efforts thus far have not been sufficient to maintain his safety. Perhaps it is time to arrange an alternative setting for your son, since the program appears to be ready to continue to have the other child remain in the program in spite of the safety risks he presents.

[mollyvish]

I would contact your local DSS office.  Daycares have to follow state rules (they have to keep your kids safe).  Also, he could be acting out becuase of problems at home and if he is being abused then it needs to be stopped.  You don't have to give DSS your name or anything but they will go to the daycare and the childs home to figure out what the problem is.  I would also start looking for another daycare.  

[alliee0204]

Before you go calling any agency and throughing this boys family into turmoil speak with the daycare person. or simply remove your child. Calling the agency is extreme. Please think about htis.