Apathetic about Schoolwork

[Karen Welch]

Hello,

I have a 14 year old son in the 9th grade.  When my child began junior high, I began to notice a decline in his attitude toward schoolwork.  He no longer seemed to care about his grades.  Since thtat time, I have tried everything from rewarding (e.g. buying him a favorite cd) him when he does well to punishing (e.g. taking away privileges) him when he does not.  Nothing seems to motivate him.  We struggled through junior high and I had hoped that once he reached high school he would begin to mature and recognize the importance of school.  Unfortunately, this has not been the case.  I cannot express how little interest he has in his academics -he truly does not care.  We just received his progress report and he is failing almost all of his subjects.  For once, I simply told him his grades were his responsibility and that he was now old enough to realize there will be consequences if he fails and he will have to deal with those consequences - even if that means he has to repeat the 9th grade.

Am I doing the right thing by allowing him to fail?  or is he still too young to handle this responsibility?  I want to do everything I can for him, but I do not know what else to do.  

As a little background on him, he is not outwardly depressed.  He has a wonderful sense of humor and is very well liked by the other students.  As far as I know he is not involved in drugs or alcohol - I am fairly certain of this.  He and I get along very well.  The only thing that causes a great deal of stress between us is the whole school issue.  He does not have any learning disabilities - he was tested in junior high.

Your advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

[Jackie]

Hi
I am a 12th grade student from Monroe Michigan.  I think homework is pointless, but I have to do a discussion in my speech class about the importance of homework and how homework prepares you for the future.  So please write something about that.

Thanks
Jackie

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Ms. Welch,

There certainly are instances in which motivation/investment is the key issue, and this cannot be provided externally. Children vary a great deal relative to the amount of drive and dedication they exhibit around their academics. And the early teen years are times when investment often turns elsewhere.

I basically endorse the approach you are adopting. You are basically saying that your son, not you, must respond to the academic challenge if he is to be promoted. You can offer him encouragement, support, and sensible limit setting, but he must choose to do the work if it is to be done. The consequence of not doing it, of course, is to repeat the year.

Now, there can be conditions which do not manifest themselves to any significant degree until junior high or so. Some children with attentional problems do OK at the elementary grades - they get by on their native intelligence in a curriculum that is not particularly challenging. But when the subject matter gets more complicated and challenging, their inattention becomes more pronounced. So I would definitely rule this out, as you have done relative to learning disability and mood disorder.