Behaviors!

[Krusso00]

I have a 4 year old, she will be 5 in Feburary.  She attends Headstart and goes to a home daycare.  I am a nurse and work rotating shifts and weekends.  Her father and I split about a year ago and I have a fiance.  We are buying a house and are packing up my apt.  I got pulled into the office at her school today...I was informed that she has been having a lot of behaviors.  Back-talking, tantrums and just not listening.  She does the same things at home.  I have tried a number of things to get her to stop or at least know that it is wrong.  I have tried time-outs, taking something away, sending her to her room and even yelling.  I have gotten to the point of giving myself a time-out many times.  She does not seem to care about consequences or being without her friends at school.  She is an only child and I recently graduated from nursing school...which was a lot to do as a single parent and having to work.  We have been through a lot, but I would have thought that any behaviors would have stopped by now...she gets attention at home and my fiance loves her so much.  Her dad calls every once in a while...and I know that this is upsetting...but I can't make him want to be more involved.  I would like to know other ways to get her to stop being this naughty!  If you could give me some advice, I would appreciate it a lot.
Thanks!
Kristin Russo

[jdtm]

We have been through a lot, but I would have thought that any behaviors would have stopped by now..  --  your words

Nope - a split home will have ramifications for your daughter over her entire life.  Nonetheless, I do believe it is better to come from a broken home than to live in one.

Her dad calls every once in a while --  your words

Sad, but often true that the "absent" parent is really "absent".  There's nothing you can do about this except not to degrade or say anything negative about her father and empathize with your daughter when she says that she "misses him".  

I would like to know other ways to get her to stop being this naughty!  --  your words

Naughty? Or frustrated and upset and confused?  Perhaps the latter.  Time and patience and understanding will help your daughter learn how to cope with the new situation (and a finace after such a short time from being split from her father is difficult for any child).  Right now we are dealing with a similar situation in our family and I know it is not easy.  But then again, raising children is never easy.

Perhaps someone else with more experience with this issue will have some practical advice.  I wish you the best ....