Child with severe ADHD and ODD Q's and local resources

Hello,

My name is Lizzy, I am 25 and I am a nanny to a child with severe ADHD as well as ODD.  I have a background also working in a group home for children with emotional and developmental issues, which implemented behavior modification plans to the clients.

I am very concerned about this child.  At this point he has become very verbally abusive, takes off to the 'park', steals money from his mother, gets very upset about eating with the family (but will sneak down at night and eat a vast amount of food and leave the mess).  Refusal to follow any rules.  In the past month has taken pots outside when no one was around and lit fires inside (before I started here).  Destroys property.  His room is beyond the norm as far as sloppy little boys go:  he refuses to change the litter box, will leave open cans of cat food and old food.  I am daily going into his room to remove any perishables.  Threw cups and a trash can at me this morning.
When he gets angry, he will scrunch his face and his hands and yell, sometimes making no sense and not even speaking english.

We are located in Freehold NJ.  I am concerned of a possibly personality disorder, and wondering if his behaviors are showing pre-symptoms of sociopath behavior.

The family is financially stable, a single mom with severe diabetes and back problems, which limits her ability to move around and such.  

We need to develop a plan.  I was wondering if anyone had any further insight on his behaviors, ideas for a behavior modification program, and was aware of the resources in the area.  He is much more well behaved at school, and is embarrassed if anyone outside of the family sees his behavior.  

Any insight would be greatly appreciated, I feel like I have hit a stone wall as far as ideas as he is EXTREMELY oppositional and obviously needs some type of serious structure, as well as some medication.

Thank you!
-Lizzy

[jdtm]

Have you posted on the Expert forum - Child Behaviour?  Only suggestion I have ....

[MissLizzy]

Oops, I thought this was it.  Thank you.