Children come into parents bed every night

[BDUF602]

Is it normal for children to wake up EVERY SINGLE night & come into our bed? My 6 year-old daughter & 3 year-old son come into our bed every night; regardless of how long we stay with them in their room or bed, if we leave after they are asleep, they will inevitably wake up & come into our bed! We have tried staying with them for both short & long periods, until they appear to be in a deep sleep, but at some point each night, they always wake up & if either my wife or me is not there, they will come into our bed & go back to sleep. We've tried walking them back to their room & staying with them until they fall back asleep, but if we leave, they always wake up & come back into our bed. Because this always occurs in the middle of the night, sometimes we don't even realize they've come into until the morning, but most times the disturbance to our sleep affects us so much that we will often just let them stay there instead of walking them back into their beds. How do we get our children to sleep throughout the night so they will stay in their own bed?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

While you did not mean to do this, you have trained then to do this because you have helped them learn that your presence is necessary for sleep. The children are only doing what they have been taught. The change will occur when you change your behavior and stop allowing this. Read Richard Ferber's book Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems (Revised Edition) for a trusted approach to solving this common problem.

[Diane0223]

My 4 year old used to come in our room during the night as well.  She would wake up and come in 3 and 4 times a night.  We tried all of the things that have been mentioned.  We even had a sleep study done.  Nothing worked...until the Sleep Fairy came.  If she stays in her bed all night long the Sleep Fairy brings her a treat (candy, pencils, stickers, etc.).  She wakes up each morning and is very excited to see what the Sleep Fairy has brought her.  Since doing this two moths ago she has only come in our room a few times.

[MrsVain]

mine do that too and i agree with the what the doctor said, however, i dont think it is that big of a deal. all mine have slept with me till they were 3 my oldest till she was 6.

if it bothers you and you dont want them to sleep with you. i cant tell you how to do it. i let mine fall asleep with us, and then move him into his bed, they have a night light on in their rooms, plus i put pillows around him. so like he is cuddled in between the pillows. i guess it makes him feel like he is still next to me. He still wakes up and comes to my bed but Each night he is staying longer and longer, once in a while even sleeping the whole night in his bed.

good luck.