Constanst Screaming and Crying FIts in 6 year olds

This is actually a question related to my sister's children, or my nephews. They are 6, 4 and 1. Don't get me wrong, I love them with all of my life but it has come to my attention that they are absolutely undisciplined! Her 6 year old constantly works himself into uncontrollable temper tantrums, I'm fairly certain he's too old to be doing this, and should know better by now. Its gotten so bad he won't even listen to his kindergarten teacher, whom he used to like. And none of our tactics seem to be helping. And yes, we have truly tried EVERYTHING. Being nice doesn't work, being mean doesn't work and God forbid if you ignore the child that makes it a hundred times worse! Her other children aren't much better, and I just really don't know what to do any more since they are living with us. It is difficult to get anything productive done because they are constantly getting themselves into trouble. Please help. Our sanity depends on you.

Sincerely, Brandice Bos.

[angelinamarina]

Talk to the pediatrician.  There could be a lot more going on.  Tantrums are "normal" to age 4 or so, and just occasionally after that.  The poor kid might have some medical/mental issues going on.

[specialmom]

My son has sensory integration disorder and outbursts of emotion are common for a child with this if they aren't regulated well.  (meds don't work for sensory---------  it is physical activity that helps).  Add/adhd can cause outbursts as well as a myriad of other things.  Sometimes a child has never learned the proper way to express their anger and frustration and the parents missed a few steps early on when that was to be taught.  Hard to say what is going on. But I agree to talk his pediatrician and ask for suggestions.  Perhaps the school can be of help as well.  They could do a formal evaluation of him to look at all kinds of things--------  I'd ask for speech eval, occupational therapy eval and psychiatric eval to cover all bases.  A parent can request this and it sounds like his teacher will back up the request.  Schools often run programs for parents as well-------- on how to parent a difficult child.  Talk to his school guidance counselor about what might be available in your area.  

One thing is for sure, you all will have to be much more active with this child.  Guiding a child through is time consuming but worth it.  Getting productive things done will equate for this child's mother to get him on track.  She'll have to take him out to parks and outside to get physical activity in, get him in various activities that will help develop his self control, work on things in the house that will help an over active nervous system.  No easy answers here and life just got harder.  But it is rewarding when you see them start to succeed as they so wish.

Tantrums in a 6 year old are either because something is going on internally that needs addressed or they have figured out what works.  Which direction you go depends on which it is.  Everyone in the house should remain very calm with this child and siblings.  No yelling, no spanking, just calm control.  

My son has great difficulty self soothing so he could have a tantrum easily.  Knowing what he should do as it builds has been key in stopping it from happening.  
good luck