Daughter w/ PMS

[Loopi]

My daughter is 3 going to be 4 in May.  She's also premature by 6 weeks.  I have been screaming at her for the past two days now.  I was wondering to take her in to get her blood checked, but she doesn't have the typical Diabetes symptoms.  Well, she seems to be on PMS CONSTANTLY!  Very major mood swings.  Nothing pleases her.  She's quick with her temper.  Does not sleep in her bed at night which makes her still nap during the day.  She's awful upon waking up, she's awful when she's hungry.  I mean Un-manageable!!! After she eats, she does a 90* turn around which made me consider sugar.  I think she's just spoiled.  She's only 14 months apart from "big brother" and they feed off each other like you wouldn't beleive.  THey are finally separated because of school, etc...  She cries and whines at the drop of a hat.  I think she's smart enough when we tell her to quit whining and tell us what's wrong, she just gets more aggrevated and even more unbearable!   Is this typical of girls and is this what I have to look foward to?  She's 45 pounds and constantly wants picking up.  When we refuse, boy, watch out!  She likes dressing by herself, otherwise independent.  HELP!!!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

No, this isn't typical either of the age or for girls in general. It's going to be important as you proceed to maintain your equanimity. Screaming at her will only exacerbate the problem, as well as teach her to yell if she's frustrated and angry. Be calm and firm at the same time - you can do it. Now, what might be going on? It could be that she's displaying a common development in pre-school children - i.e., when they are frustrated they are overwhelmed with rage and have not yet learned how to manage such an onrush of emotion. Alternatively, she might be displaying the early signs of a mood disorder. Is there a family history of mood disorder (i.e., depression, bipolar disorder)? If so, it would make her vulnerable to such a condition. Since her behavior is so extreme you might do well to seek professional evaluation. Arrange an appointment with a child psychologist or other pediatric mental health professional. Also, from a behavior management point of view, take a look at Lynn Clark's book titled SOS: Help for Parents. You'll find it very useful and practical.

[chey101]

my daughter is very similar to the way this other lady descibed her daughter. very out of control. my mother-in-law just killed herself last feb (2003) i guess because she couldn't handle the depression and she was also bi-polar. my father-in-law also killed himself years before i meet my boyfriend. U MEAN I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MY DAUGHTER HAVING BI-POLAR SO YOUNG. I MEAN I KNEW HER ATITUDE WAS EXCESSIVE BUT OTHER WISE NORMAL. THIS IS SO FREAKING ME OUT. HOW CAN I HELP HER NOW SO IT DOES NOT BECOME SO UNCONTROLABE THAT WHEN SHE'S A TEEN SHE MIGHT WANT TO KILL HERSELF. PLS HELP. I AM GOING TO BUY THAT BOOK AS SOON AS I CAN. BUT WHAT CAN I DO IF I DON'T WANT ON MEDS WHEN SHE IS SO YOUNG WHAT ELSE CAN BE DONE IF SHE WOULD HAVE A MOOD DISORDER.
P.S I AALSO HAVE A BIG PROBLEM WITH A PANIC DISORDER AND OTHER STUFF I WOULD NOT LIKE TO DISCUS HERE.
PLS HELP

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

If your daughter truly does have a mood disorder, it is very likely she will require medication at some point. Mood disorders are, by definition, bilogically determined. They involve the functioning of brain chemistry, and this is why the medications are useful. With your family history, your daughter is vulnerable to development of some mental health condition, and it's important to be vigilant about this. Right now, given the family history and thr stress, it would be wise to arrange an evaluation for her, as well as support for you.

[chey101]

thank-u so much for responding. i am going to get her into to see our doctor as soon as he has time available. i was really hoping that this wasn't something that i was going to have to worry about.
thank-u again so very much.
chey

[ozark]

my question would be how long has this been going on? kids that age cant tell us if something is physically wrong.  she may be not feeling well and this is the only way to tell....have her checked by her pediatrician for her ears, sinuses etc... when we have headaches or muscle aches we take tylenol or something else and feel better...they cant really describe how they feel....sometimes giving them a dose of tylenol and seeing if it changes their temperment may tell you something....sometimes its as simple as that....