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Five year old touching 3yr old cousin
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Five year old touching 3yr old cousin

My little boy is 3 and last night I was at my sister in laws house. She has a 6 year old boy a 2 year old girl and an 8 year old girl. The boys disappeared into the back of the house and were quiet so I went to look for them. They came out of the bathroom. I asked what were you doing and my little boy quietly said playing BUTT. My nephew was acting guilty and when I asked him what my son was talking about he shied away shamefully.I said what? Then my 3yr.old  went on to explain to me that the five year old was touching his private parts. This isn't the first time this has happened just the other day when I was babysitting my nieces and nephew my nephew came out of the bathroom crying saying that my 3 year old cut his private and showed me a plastic toy saw. He didn't of course but I thought this was strange so i asked why they were in the bathroom together and told them that they were not allowed in the bathroom together to go potty. Last night after this happened it threw up red flags so I took my son and we left immediately. I talked to him a little more as best as you can talk to a 3 year old and he explained what was going on. His cousin rubs his butt and then his pee pee. When I got home I asked my 4 year old if my nephew does anything to him and he said no but he does to his brother and my nephews sister, who is 8. Is this normal curious behavior for a six year old or do I have means to be concerned. My little boy has been showing some signs of distress and now I understand why. What should I do?
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535822_tn?1389452880
The distress your 3 year old is showning maybe from hearing all the talk about itaswell as the behaviors, and some further anxiety has been caused by the concern. In my opinion this is not normal behavior it sounds as if the cousins are mostly involved and it may come from the older one. iIt would be a good idea to speak to your sister in law as it does seem as if these children are copying it and they will be doing it to other children ,so you have to speak up.Do not let your child be alone out of the way with any children let them play where you can supervise .With your child quieten down on the talk when he is around so he does'nt feel it was in any way his fault..maybe a word with the Doctor wouldnt hurt.
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Avatar_f_tn
Your 6 yr old nephew learned that sexual behavior from somewhere... thats is NOT normal behavior for a 6 yr old child..
Soo... either he is being touched himself by someone older... or he saw his parents/someone  involved in sexual activity and is acting out what he saw......
I dont know... but i do know that this HAS to be investigated ASAP...
*i work with children with sexualized behaviors..*
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Avatar_f_tn
I also would not leave your child in that house un-supervised at all... ever.  Until they figure out whats going on there...
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1350925_tn?1277388125
I disagree. It is very much normal behavior. He was just rubbing him which is completley normal. I'm a dad of 3 boys and have been through this more then once. Its simple curiosity, As well s being a boy and knowing what feels good. A boy just like a man only has to rub their penis once to know how great it feels. For little boys its the same. It feels good so they keep doing it. As for being curious ur nephew is 6 ur son is 3, I'm sure their pee pees are different in one way or another. I really wouldn't get to upset about this. Just keep closer eye on them and don't leave them alone anymore. Boys are very big on curiosity. Good luck.
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535822_tn?1389452880
there was a plastic tool involved so would you also say that is okay for an older child to do to a younger one,2 older children behaving like this to younger ones, no this is not okay not normal at all something you should speak about with your sister .especially as your 3 year old is showing distress. This is not considered  just curiosity .....
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Avatar_m_tn
I understand how this behavior can be disconcerting for the ladies in the audience, but those of us that were once little boys know this is normal. Just about every little friend I had wanted to 'play doctor', and this behavior does not need to be learned; we are born sexual and can figure most things out on our own.
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973741_tn?1342346373
I'm in the middle.  Some things are out of curiousity but when it is a game called "butt" I think more is involved.  I think someone older did it with the 6 year old and now he is teaching his 3 year old cousin.  Child on child molestation is common but still is molestation.  A child that would not have known about "butt" and inserting and all of that stuff at 3 now knows about it.  Wouldn't leave these boys alone and I'd certainly let the 6 year olds parents know what is going on.  As a mother, I wouldn't be happy about this game.  I'm not a lady in the audience but someone that knows kids as well as the next person.  
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Avatar_n_tn
I have two boys one 6 and one 7 and I am just experiencing some of the same behavior. These guys were.licking each other and touching each other. I don't know what is or isn't normal. I would say that it's because of the separation between their father and I but i'm not certain. I have kept a closer eye on them and I told them that they don't disrespect each other like that because it's wrong. I could tell while talking to them that they felt bad only because I caught them and they really didn't feel like they had done anything wrong, so I did explain to them why and how it's wrong for them to touch each other. My 6 year old touch his 3 year old brother a few months ago, so i'm watching him like he's a pervert and as a mother I feel bad thinking that little of my son. What other thing do you suggest I do other then keep an eye on them. I would tell dad but his maturity level isn't up to par for this situation. I told him once the 7 year old got in trouble for the saying the curse word related to a womans part and he laughed. I'm lost and confused with my boys and I can relate to many mom's because we didn't grow up boys and we don't understand where the sexual behavior come from. Granted as girls we had our issues with other girls growing up all it took was a look or no and we would stop.
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Avatar_f_tn
I have a four year old boy whom I have always watched like a hawk around adults. But I never really thought twice about him playing with other boys his age. We had met some new people and they had a son the same age, The boys were in the bedroom playing cars and other boy stuff. Then when it got quite Iwent to check on them expecting to have broke something or writing on walls with markers, but instead I walked in to see both boys had their pants down and the other boy was mounting my son. I talked to me son and he said that the other boy pulled down my sons pants and then his own then touched his butt with his finger ( I don't think it was a finger). My son told me it made him feel icky, So I explained to him why we don't do this and told him that if his body tells him something isen't wright then listen to ur body and come get mom or dad. I am really worried because I feel like my son's inocents has been taken away from him. I know that boys are more curious than girls and boys are born knowing that when their pee pee is touched it feels good. But to me this goes beyond being curious. I am now scared that my son might think that this is ok or I don;t how to explain it but I just feel really sick about the whole deal and don't what else to do.
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Avatar_f_tn
I cannot stress this enough, read threw this site you will find a lot of little boys & girls  are doing similar things.

I was abused as a child, age 3 onwards. I did not show any sighs of sexual curiosity I steered well clear as I felt ashamed, scared, wrong and many bad things.... I didn't force "what I had learnt" as some of you people are saying onto other children. My behaviour changed yes, I became timid and scared from my abuser... I would sob if any other children touched me in ways that resembled my abuse (Even though it was innocent)..As I grew up and the abuse stopped I became curious but experimented more with myself and pillows... and I recall a brief encounter with my older sister where we were looking at each other's parts,  she was also abused along side with me, but I'm certainly no rapist now and I actually talk to abused children... In very rare cases do they become the evil abuser, usually when more than one abuser is involved, maybe not physically but mentally or just a parent who turns their head to clear abuse... It then becomes portrayed as normal behaviour.

By all means talk to your children... Just explain to them they are not in trouble (as you will make them shy away from the subject and feel abnormal) and just gently get answers, if you are worried of actually abuses for legitimate reasons then keep a much closer eye on behaviour, mood swings, sobbing and general fear of certain adults
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Avatar_m_tn
As a survivor of a child sexual assault I totally agree. Not all victims become abusers. I'm dealing with an issue where two male family members under the age of 10 apparently were curious each other body parts.The parents is blowing the situation out of portion. Correction makes a difference in a child's life. Children today are exposed to adults issues that the children are not prepared for. We have to monitor what goes in the minds of a child. If we stop allowing the television and video games to nurture our children life wouldn't be as complicated. We are their heroes.
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973741_tn?1342346373
I'm no sure if you have children but would not think that a parent who found two male family members engaging in sexual activity would be blowing it out of proportion. Statistically, it is accurate that when this situation arises, one or both of those boys has been sexually molested.  Any parent does a disservice to minimize this statistic and not look deeper into the situation.  

I do believe that today's tv and gaming is problematic and that they can be risqué.  Simple access to the computer in this day and age and one wrong click can open up the seedy world of porn.  So, monitoring kids and even restrictively is important.  

But I would certainly follow up on issues with a child who is sexual with their cousin or sibling.  
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973741_tn?1342346373
We do have to set limits.  No child should EVER touch another child and we need to make sure our kids have been safe and not touched by someone themselves causing them to be oversexualized.  

No one should allow two children to touch each other.  And if a child is still doing it even with a firm boundary set, then a parent should seek professional help.  

Child on child molestation is a vicious cycle.  And very sad.  good luck
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