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HELP !!! I am in shock !! sexual exploration ????
by Mary229, Jul 04, 2009 11:22AM
Hi , I have 5 children , 2 that are mine and 3 that are from child protection. I got 4 boys and 1 girl , ages are 10b, 8b, 6b, 5b, and 3 year old daughter.
This all started years ago and I have talked to the child protection agency about this and they did not do anything about it..
Here is how the story goes.
I had at the time my son that was 6 months old and 4 little boys that were in my foster home. By then I had 2 of the foster children for 2.5 years and all was wonderful..the only problem I had with 1 of them is that he has ADHD but apart from that, he was a healthy little boy that was always happy. About 2 years after the 2 brothers being placed in my care, I received 2 other little brothers ages 2 and 4. My foster kids that had been placed with me where at that time 4 and 6. so I was really happy that they could have little friends to play with..This is when the trouble started. One morning I woke up and 2 of the little boys where under the covers, they were playing a game called *suck my penis* OMG.. I was petrified but did not yell at them. I did take them aside to talk to them and they said it was just a game they played , I told them that this sort of game was not acceptable and that they had to stop it..little did I know that the games where being played more and more and where becoming worse..I then caught them talking under the covers and heard 1 say , pee in my mouth !!!??!!! I once again talked to them calmly saying that this was not a game to play and that they should stop this at once. They then went on to tell me that they played that often and that 1 of the little boys always wanted the other to play that game..I then called child protection and asked if the last set of brothers can be removed and they said that they were going to remove them anyways since their mom was taking them back..1 week latter the 2 little boys that I loved dearly left. The household went back to normal but I still always had an eye on the little brother that had been exposed to these sexual acts..
about 6 months latter child protection called me again to place 2 other little brothers with me and I accepted. The little brothers where adorable and once again I fell in love with them. They where ages 5 months and 3 years old. for about 1 year all was great I did not notice anything strange about their behavior other then normal brother rivalry.
Then the trouble started. They started playing this game called *suck my penis* again and they where doing it all the time.. I was horrified once again..I called child protection and they sent me a behavioral therapist at home and we worked hard on their behaviors..but nothing changed. They kept on playing this stupid game.. I kept the older brother for 1.5 year longer . Till the end they would play even though I would talk to them each time telling them in was not correct and not to play these games.. even asking them why they did it and whom they learned it from ( even though I knew it was the 1 little boy that came to our house years before)...but why did this game stay ??? why did it come back ???
Now as of today my kids told me that they found their brother naked and his penis close to my other sons face .. we do not know if he did actually make him suck his penis ..So I asked the 5 of them to come to the table with me and tell me what they saw ( I have to tell you that my 5 year old has severe global developmental delay) so he will do whatever his older brother asks of him. All the kids call themselves brother and sisters since I have them till they are 18 years old and to me they are my children and I love them as much as the 2 children that I have put on this earth.
So once at the table we were talking about this incident and my little 3 year old daughter told us out loud..BEEP put his penis right there...pointing to her vagina..I nearly lost it..Then my 10 year old son who caught them said that BEEP wanted to pee in my other sons face.We had not seen this behavior since the other child left..I was freaked and my heart started pounding like crazy..My foster son is now 8 years old and today he abused his mentally ill brother and his little sister. What am I to do????..Child protection doesn't help...And I love all my 5 children...I don't know what to do.. I am so sad and so angry and so confused..
I can let this continue.. He has been seeing a counselor at school and I told her what was happening before...but nothing is working ?!!!!?? I have asked him if anyone had ever shown him to do that or if anyone ever touched his penis and he told me no...I told him also that if someone was threatening him not to tell it was all a lie ,,,
I don't want him to leave but at the same time I cannot let this keep on going...He has been with us for 7 years...this is killing me...has anyone ever been in a similar situation??
He has been evaluated by therapists, seen by doctors , talked to guidance counselors..Talked to us..we talked to his natural birth mother ,(whom we get along with very well)...NOW WHAT???
My 8 year old son always had problems because of his ADHD and was always a child that did bad things and would and still gets into trouble..Can this be part of his ADHD that he still keeps on going at it ?? Please help me...from a mom this is so troubled..
This all started years ago and I have talked to the child protection agency about this and they did not do anything about it..
Here is how the story goes.
I had at the time my son that was 6 months old and 4 little boys that were in my foster home. By then I had 2 of the foster children for 2.5 years and all was wonderful..the only problem I had with 1 of them is that he has ADHD but apart from that, he was a healthy little boy that was always happy. About 2 years after the 2 brothers being placed in my care, I received 2 other little brothers ages 2 and 4. My foster kids that had been placed with me where at that time 4 and 6. so I was really happy that they could have little friends to play with..This is when the trouble started. One morning I woke up and 2 of the little boys where under the covers, they were playing a game called *suck my penis* OMG.. I was petrified but did not yell at them. I did take them aside to talk to them and they said it was just a game they played , I told them that this sort of game was not acceptable and that they had to stop it..little did I know that the games where being played more and more and where becoming worse..I then caught them talking under the covers and heard 1 say , pee in my mouth !!!??!!! I once again talked to them calmly saying that this was not a game to play and that they should stop this at once. They then went on to tell me that they played that often and that 1 of the little boys always wanted the other to play that game..I then called child protection and asked if the last set of brothers can be removed and they said that they were going to remove them anyways since their mom was taking them back..1 week latter the 2 little boys that I loved dearly left. The household went back to normal but I still always had an eye on the little brother that had been exposed to these sexual acts..
about 6 months latter child protection called me again to place 2 other little brothers with me and I accepted. The little brothers where adorable and once again I fell in love with them. They where ages 5 months and 3 years old. for about 1 year all was great I did not notice anything strange about their behavior other then normal brother rivalry.
Then the trouble started. They started playing this game called *suck my penis* again and they where doing it all the time.. I was horrified once again..I called child protection and they sent me a behavioral therapist at home and we worked hard on their behaviors..but nothing changed. They kept on playing this stupid game.. I kept the older brother for 1.5 year longer . Till the end they would play even though I would talk to them each time telling them in was not correct and not to play these games.. even asking them why they did it and whom they learned it from ( even though I knew it was the 1 little boy that came to our house years before)...but why did this game stay ??? why did it come back ???
Now as of today my kids told me that they found their brother naked and his penis close to my other sons face .. we do not know if he did actually make him suck his penis ..So I asked the 5 of them to come to the table with me and tell me what they saw ( I have to tell you that my 5 year old has severe global developmental delay) so he will do whatever his older brother asks of him. All the kids call themselves brother and sisters since I have them till they are 18 years old and to me they are my children and I love them as much as the 2 children that I have put on this earth.
So once at the table we were talking about this incident and my little 3 year old daughter told us out loud..BEEP put his penis right there...pointing to her vagina..I nearly lost it..Then my 10 year old son who caught them said that BEEP wanted to pee in my other sons face.We had not seen this behavior since the other child left..I was freaked and my heart started pounding like crazy..My foster son is now 8 years old and today he abused his mentally ill brother and his little sister. What am I to do????..Child protection doesn't help...And I love all my 5 children...I don't know what to do.. I am so sad and so angry and so confused..
I can let this continue.. He has been seeing a counselor at school and I told her what was happening before...but nothing is working ?!!!!?? I have asked him if anyone had ever shown him to do that or if anyone ever touched his penis and he told me no...I told him also that if someone was threatening him not to tell it was all a lie ,,,
I don't want him to leave but at the same time I cannot let this keep on going...He has been with us for 7 years...this is killing me...has anyone ever been in a similar situation??
He has been evaluated by therapists, seen by doctors , talked to guidance counselors..Talked to us..we talked to his natural birth mother ,(whom we get along with very well)...NOW WHAT???
My 8 year old son always had problems because of his ADHD and was always a child that did bad things and would and still gets into trouble..Can this be part of his ADHD that he still keeps on going at it ?? Please help me...from a mom this is so troubled..
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What you need to do is to read up on ADHD so you understand what is going on. Unfortunately, without medication, you probably won't see much changes in behavior at this age. If he is on medication, you might consider one of the longer acting time release ones. He is getting close to an age where he should be making better choices. I would probably concentrate on the other kids to make sure that they know its ok to tell him, to stop - "just say NO". That may be enough to solve the problem.
Good luck!!
tell the other kids to learn to say no, and fingers cross it will stop,
but also read this article, it might show some light on it,
http://www.ipce.info/booksreborn/martinson/articles/1994_children.html