How and why does he eat so much?

[msneu23]

I am new but curious as to others opinions. My step son is 9. His father and I have been together and married going on a total of 5 years now. He is very thin (like scrawny thin)no meat on him at all, paisty white....but eats all the time and huge portions. He's always hungry. He comes hungry and leaves hungry. We drive an HR to the zoo. We do fast food bfast. Everyone gets a meal,  he also gets an extra sandwich. He will still be hungry and my husband gives up his bfast so he can have a 3rd sandwich. My husband allows him to have 3rds even 4ths before anyone had seconds sometimes at dinner,  claiming he doesn't want him to go to moms saying we wouldn't let him eat. (off subject sorry) anyways he eats so much yet is so sickly skinny and pale. Like paper white pale. He also poops his pants still and has since I've known him. Any suggestions as to why he may always be so hungry?

[psychicRod]

he could have worms.

[Sandman2]

   Very good points!   Thank you for your time and concern.

[ChocolatOpal]

Wow, as an adult with ADHD and someone in healthcare, and as a child experienced divorce and visitation related issues, I believe that 'continuity of care' is essential. Please use those words when you discuss this with the professionals involved.

If your husband does not know 100% of his son's medical / emotional information - he can not respond to a health issue when the son is in his/your care. Accidents happen - if you both don't know the doctors and counselors involved, and any medications or care his received or is receiving, then how can you be if any help to the son is a problem were to arise?  I have worked in after-school programs, at a rehabilitation hospital and in schools. I have seen children have seizures, had a serious spider bite and allergic reactions. I myself have had to diagnose my own & family member's allergies and keep on top of potential concerns.

I strongly feel that you cannot adequately parent a child without full access and knowledge of his medical and mental health. The basics of survival are safety, health and nutrition. This is also a quality of care issue. Daycare providers even ask for basic information related to medical issues and have permission to seek treatment. Can your husband not request or take him for an assessment?

It must feel horrible to hungry all the time and embarrassing regarding not having control of his elimination. Please impress upon your husband the necessity of getting more information and collaboration. This young one is a developing boy approaching puberty, he needs not adequate, but excellent care. Having ADHD already comes with many challenges, lets minimize any others.

Truly and Genuinely praying for your family and want to say 10 gold stars for your keen observations and desire to help and your love for this little one.  

[Sandman2]

   And, how much time does he spend with mom.  If most of his time is there - and they are not dealing with the appetite issues - that would explain a lot.  I am also the CL on the adhd forum here -  http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175
    I have several good links on ADHD and weight loss as it is such a common problem.

[Sandman2]

   He has ADHD,  is he on medication?   A very well known side effect deals with weight loss.

[AnnieBrooke]

Your husband should talk to his lawyer, who should talk to hers, to get permission to go along to doctor appointments or at least ask questions of the doctor.  Seriously, this is not right.  Poor kid.

[msneu23]

Also he hardly urinates. He waits all day then runs to go,  maybe twice a day?  And he's not fatigued but he also has ADHD. He's always in the go. I thought he was thinking bc if being so hyper n loving alot with a possible high metabolism. But after 5 years I really question it all

[msneu23]

I have mentioned encopresis to his mother. Idk about blood work. He sees counselors and psychiatrists for tons of behavior issues. My husband has joked about tape worm. I'm concerned and his dad isn't given opportunities to be involved medically,  she's put documentation that he is not on any paperwork that he cannot even call and ask questions. He was here tonight and shared a large pizza with my 2 daughters.  1 had 1 PC  other had 2, he ate the rest. Then 1 hour later was hungry again and had 2 more pieces. I've questioned diabetes bc he's always thirsty too and he doesn't drink normally he chugs n chugs and then gasps for breathe afterwards. As a step parent IDK what I can do.

[AnnieBrooke]

Hate to sound too prosaic, but he should also be checked for tapeworm.

This sounds like a medical issue, possibly serious.  Please take it ultra-seriously.

[Sandman2]

   Very good point by RockRose
           "Type 2 diabetes
Symptoms include increased thirst, frequent urination, hunger, fatigue, and blurred vision. In some cases, there may be no symptoms.
           Type 1 diabetes
Symptoms include increased thirst, frequent urination, hunger, fatigue, and blurred vision."

[RockRose]

Also it sounds like it's possible he has unchecked type 1 diabetes.

[RockRose]

I agree with the other two,  about encopresis and finding a medical cause for his constant hunger.  

From your tone,  it does sound like you aren't recognizing that this underweight pale child is actually in need of more nutrition,  for whatever reason - not just trying to be irritating.  

[AnnieBrooke]

Also, has he been checked for encopresis?  Pediatricians sometimes don't know much about it, but someone should go to bat for the boy to have a full health check that includes this on the list.

[Sandman2]

      There are some medical things that can cause this.  Has he ever had a complete blood panel workup - especially thyroid?