Is it normal for a 3 year old to threaten to kill people and attack unprovoked?

[blayzmoon]

Is this all just 'normal 3 year old boy behavior' as my friend would have me believe? Some days are good, which means he only hit / spit / etc. a few times. Not a day passes without challenge authority in some way at least once. Frequent temper tantrums, Easily frustrated, angered. Argues with adults and other children. Defiant beyond belief, without apparent reason.  Run onto road, tries to walk off with strangers. Hits, kicks, punches, bites, scratches, throws objects, screams, threatens, spits (kids & adults) He tries to break objects by throwing things at them or stomping on them etc. Says he will cut off peoples / animals heads, or cut their necks, or kill them (says this to me, his mom and dad, their other kids, my 8 year old daughter and anyone who attempts to control him or says no etc.) Was found 'kissing' the penis of another child (other childs idea? other child is 4) Was caught trying to cut the cat with scissors (He did cut only fur, not flesh - maybe that was the intention or maybe he was caught before any damage could occur) Was caught with the puppy's head inside his pull-up trying to force the puppy to stay there. Attacks without any reason at all (Mom says she believes the boy thinks he has a reason EG looks at him wrong or brushed past him) Refuses to drink anything but chocolate milk (Ever) He attacks animals and people for no reason - he kicked my puppy in the face, tried to punch me in the face then kicked the puppy again. He can be a very loving child and is very sweet sometimes, he is not always a raging child. He is attached to his mom - cries when she takes him to daycare. Does not get along with other children - he doesn't seem to want to , enjoys taunting / torturing others. He was very slow to talk, is still hard to understand . Pees/poops outside into trashcans, on the trampoline etc. This may be of no relevance but the boy has an issue with always wanting to have his finger in his bottom. My friends says her son is normal. Is he?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

The child should be evaluated by a licensed mental health professional who specilaizes in treating youn children. The clinician can be a child psychiatrist, a clinical psychologist, a clinical social worker or a clinical nurse specialist (also called psychiatric nurse).

[blayzmoon]

I did already think the child was out of the 'normal' range for his behavior but my friend is in denial and i thought that if she could perhaps see an experts opinion and advice for what she needs to do then she might be more willing to accept there is an issue and be willing to do what needs to be done. (Please advice as to who she needs to take the child to see and what he needs, EG councelling, a psychologist, psychiatrist etc.) She currently thinks i am being mean to about the child because my own daughter is extremely well behaved and has always listened the first time i ask her to do something (or not to do it) She believes my opinion and concerns are irrelevant because i don't have a boy. If you could be as specific as possible she may do something to help the child and bring peace to all of us.

Thank you

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You already know the answer to your question. Of course this is not normal behavior. Rather, the behavior is symptomatic of serious emotional disturbance.