Aa
Is my child a sociopath?
My son is 10 years old and for as long as I can remember we have been having issues with his behavior. In the beginning it was stealing little things like snack cakes and pens off my desk and it progressed to stealing bigger things like my husbands watch. Added to this he lies almost constantly, sneaks around and is always making up stories to see if he can trick someone into believing him. We took all of that in stride and tried to believe that he was a normal child with behavior problems. We tried postive and negative reinforcement, time-outs, grounding, taking things away and just about everything else at one time or another. We even moved to another state to give him a new start in a new school, with new friends and in a house with his own room instead of in a tiny apartment but things just got worse and worse.
Last year he was having problems in school and nearly failed. He has already taken first grade twice and second grade twice and he nearly had to take second grade for a third time because he didnt want to do the work. Not because he can't or because he is distracted but because he thinks his teachers are too stupid to teach him anything. This year he has been better but I think it is because he has tricked the teacher into giving him most of the answers on his work and making things very easy on him because he is so small and she feels that he is being mistreated at home. They even called child services because of the stories that he told them.
We also found out that he has been peeing in his room. At first he was peeing on the clothes in his laundry basket and then he began peeing in the corners and in his clothes depending on how badly the need was. His reason for this is alternately that he is trying to teach me a lesson and that I should let him wander the house and do whatever he wants and that it is his room and he should be allowed to do anything he wants in there even pee.
When we realized that he was peeing in his room we took him to a mental hospital for inpatient treatment and they kept him for 8 days before releasing him. I was told that they could not keep him there because he was not a danger to anyone and besides he promised not to pee and would follow all the rules ect. That only lasted a few hours after he got home and he was peeing again. We moved him out of his room and into the living room so that he wouldnt have the opportunity to do it anymore and we thought that was the end of that until he tried to starve our ferrets by pretending to feed them but not actually doing it. His reason was that he was tired of them and wanted to see how long it would take them to die. I sat him down to talk about this and he told me that he was also planning to kill the cat, myself and my 10 month old because he was also tired of us. I took him back to the mental hospital where they kept him for 24 days with absolutely no improvement. This time they released him because he said that he no longer planned to kill anyone and was all better. The couselor suggested that I send him to a boys camp because even though he said he was better and they were sending him home they did not feel that he was really better.
So here we are trying to decide what we should do with our son. He is 10 years old and the size of an 8 year old, has mild Cerebral palsy and needs shots in order to grow. If I send him to this camp he will not get the chance to grow normally and wont get all the treatment for his CP. Neither of which will matter if he doesnt get the mental help he needs. I hate the idea of sending my son away because I am his mother and feel that I should be the best thing for him. The problem is that he wants to kill me and thinks that it is okay if he does. He does not express remorse for anything that he has done and never has, is extremely maniputlative and is not affected by punishments or consequences of any kind because he feels that they are only temporary and do not matter. I am nearly convinced that he is a sociopath but he is SO manipulative that the doctors havent been able to see the real child and instead see the fake one that he is so good at portraying. What can I do in this situation?
Last year he was having problems in school and nearly failed. He has already taken first grade twice and second grade twice and he nearly had to take second grade for a third time because he didnt want to do the work. Not because he can't or because he is distracted but because he thinks his teachers are too stupid to teach him anything. This year he has been better but I think it is because he has tricked the teacher into giving him most of the answers on his work and making things very easy on him because he is so small and she feels that he is being mistreated at home. They even called child services because of the stories that he told them.
We also found out that he has been peeing in his room. At first he was peeing on the clothes in his laundry basket and then he began peeing in the corners and in his clothes depending on how badly the need was. His reason for this is alternately that he is trying to teach me a lesson and that I should let him wander the house and do whatever he wants and that it is his room and he should be allowed to do anything he wants in there even pee.
When we realized that he was peeing in his room we took him to a mental hospital for inpatient treatment and they kept him for 8 days before releasing him. I was told that they could not keep him there because he was not a danger to anyone and besides he promised not to pee and would follow all the rules ect. That only lasted a few hours after he got home and he was peeing again. We moved him out of his room and into the living room so that he wouldnt have the opportunity to do it anymore and we thought that was the end of that until he tried to starve our ferrets by pretending to feed them but not actually doing it. His reason was that he was tired of them and wanted to see how long it would take them to die. I sat him down to talk about this and he told me that he was also planning to kill the cat, myself and my 10 month old because he was also tired of us. I took him back to the mental hospital where they kept him for 24 days with absolutely no improvement. This time they released him because he said that he no longer planned to kill anyone and was all better. The couselor suggested that I send him to a boys camp because even though he said he was better and they were sending him home they did not feel that he was really better.
So here we are trying to decide what we should do with our son. He is 10 years old and the size of an 8 year old, has mild Cerebral palsy and needs shots in order to grow. If I send him to this camp he will not get the chance to grow normally and wont get all the treatment for his CP. Neither of which will matter if he doesnt get the mental help he needs. I hate the idea of sending my son away because I am his mother and feel that I should be the best thing for him. The problem is that he wants to kill me and thinks that it is okay if he does. He does not express remorse for anything that he has done and never has, is extremely maniputlative and is not affected by punishments or consequences of any kind because he feels that they are only temporary and do not matter. I am nearly convinced that he is a sociopath but he is SO manipulative that the doctors havent been able to see the real child and instead see the fake one that he is so good at portraying. What can I do in this situation?
You are so right about the Dr's seeing the good side and thinking its more the parents problem than the childs. I just get so frustrated because with every other type of disability out there, there are correct labels and then medication and strategies for what to do to actually GET HELP! With us and our children, THERE IS NONE! As much as my heart goes out to all these parents of children with Autism, I still literally feel angry when I hear all over TV of all the awareness and help groups now for Autism and so many others, but NOTHING for us because there is truly no real awareness, even for most of the professionals because they know that most therapy and medications don't work for sociopathic children. It is truly sad!
Ok first of all, I thought this was a place to share our thoughts and feelings on things with others who have similar issues, not a place to question each others parenting methods. Secondly, she is not being used as a babysitter, my husband was also outside cooking on the grill. Also, in reading back over these posts, I haven't seen any with you sharing your story. All you have done is comment on others. I came here looking for understanding and to get some insight into what other parents have had to deal with. I'm trying to do research into what may be wrong with my daughter before some small town doctor where we live trys to just dope her up on meds. If you don't have anything nice or constructive to say, then don't say anything at all, at least to me. Thank you.
My heart breaks for you. I have dealt with the same issue for 6 years with my son. He's now 19 and no longer lives with us. Stick to your guns with the mental health industry, it will be a long and difficult battle. You may have to endure the pain of being judged a bad parent, but if you do not feel safe with your child in your home then refuse to take him/her home. If your child has gotten into legal trouble, this will prove to be a blessing in disguise. I demanded that my child be placed in a treatment facility, which slowed his downward spiral and kept us safe. Get yourself into counseling immediately. Find a support group. You must find a therapist for yourself and the other members of your family. Not all children with the severe problems you've described are sociopaths, if that's any comfort. Some of the descriptions, however, are extremely similar to my son's. I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to have a therapist to help YOU through this.
I don't know if the Cp is what's causing it because my nephew is also doing a lot of these things and he has other issues such as RAD REACTIVE ATTATCHMENT DISORDER and a few other things bipolar and for him it started out with behaving poorly in school getting into fights with other kids because he stole something from them he was removed from the 5th grade class and had to be in a private classroom and when he ate lunch and recess was with the 1st graders. He stole his grandma's phone multiple times he steals from other family members tablets phones and when we finally find them he has searched pornography on the phones. So we have locks on our bedroom doors so that things can't get stolen he breaks into them he is very mean to other kids in the house especially if they get something that he can't have because he's in trouble or they try to tell on him he steals knives and exacto knives and stashed them all over the house just a few days ago I got a call from my mom (his grandma) while I was at work he had given my dog a full 10 ML syringe of Vimpat a seizure medication for my Baby sister who has Grand mal seizures he said he didn't know it would hurt her I had to then give my dog 5tsp of peroxide every 5 minutes to make her throw up he has threatened to hurt the other 2 little dogs he sneaks out in the middle of the night and goes and ding dong ditches people's houses and the lies about it when he is caught red handed. The day after he poisoned the dog he was pretending to be real tired at about 845 or 9pm so he could be sent downstairs to his room he had stolen a lighter out of his mom's purse and tried to start a piece of headphone cord on fire and set the alarms off in the house and stashed the lighter under my door which is across the hall from his and hid the burnt pieces all over his room he has been urinating in bottles and leaving them in Palin site so that they will be found and we to are at a loss we love in nebraska and the police here have told us that they can't even site him until he's 11 boys town won't take him because he is to severe a case and we can't find any relief they tell us to put him in in home counseling which absolutely does not work he fools his psychiatrist somebody please help us
You definitely need to find a psychiatrist. Don't drop the issue. Don't let them push you off.
Tonya...my son is 8 years old and doing all the things you described. He's actually stood at the foot of my bed smiling with a knife before. I've tried everything like you have to no avail and noticing that it gets worse with age. If you found a way to help your son please let me know because I could use it. He sometimes hurts his sister and finds it funny when she cries or bleeds. He's shoved her down the stairs and off bikes...I had the same thought as you
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