I just wanted to say that you are doing everything exactly as you need to. Our family went through the very same thing. Our boy is now in a school that fits his needs, as well as our family, (and there are many choices!) Our son was diagnosed with pdd-nos and is making tremendous strides everyday. Best of luck to you and your family!
You have already taken the step I would have suggested - i.e., an evaluation by a developmental specialist. At this age, it is difficult (if not impossible) to discern with precision what type of developmental problem is occurring. Your son is showing some developmental delays or unevenness, that's for sure. Time will tell if these lags in development are simply delays, and he will close the gap developmentally as time goes on, or whether they are the early signs of what will be a more pronounced developmental disorder. The problem could indicate some type of Pervasive Developmental Disorder, though Autistic Disorder is not likely (unless it is at the high functioning end of the autistic spectrum). Sensory integration problems might be occurring, though this will not likely be the primary diagnosis. Remember, development is fluid and rapid changes occur during the early years. It's also important to remember that normal development occurs along a spectrum - e.g., children do not all begin to develop language at precisely the same time. There is always a range. Yes, your son is not within the normal spectrum in some areas of his development. But time will have to pass before it is entirly clear what is occurring. Be sure to seek Early Intervention services, along with whatever other supports the developmental pediatrician recommends.