Motavation?

[JoeSass]

Hello. Just want to say thanks for helping me with past problems and pointing me to the SOS book.
My daughter is 6.5 and plays Baseball ( mostly boys) and Karate. I was wondering at this age how do you motivate your child to do their best and really give it everything they have? Also to be more aggressive. Not in a mean way but just have a little more passion. As parents we can get a little to demanding and push a little hard. I just was wondering your thought on how to motivate a child without pushing to much or being to overbearing.
Thanks

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

While motivation and drive can be inborn, they can be acquired as children develop their own interest in pursuits. What cannot occur is that they be implanted from without. Let her have whatever disposition she chooses re: her chosen pursuits - she will find her way. Motivation cannot be taught from the outside. She'll have to find her own motivation, and in re: to sports it may not ultimately match with what you regard as motivation or drive. Friction can develop between parents and children when children pick up that somehow they are not pleasing their parents, that they are disappointments to parents. You can unwittingly convey disapproval if you push too hard in this regard.

[JoeSass]

Thanks. She does enjoy both sports and i have no problem with her wanting to play. Is there a way to improve her drive? To get her to put more energy into what she does. How do you go about improving a childs drive and work ethic as some coaches are able to do this with lazy players. Like say Bill Parcells did. I know we are talking children but are there methods or just by reward at this age? Is this inborn or can it be taught?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Motivation as a personal attribute is not something that can be instilled from the outside. Now, re: some single issue (e.g., completing homework), motivation can be enhanced by a reward system. But such a system, while effective, is not changing the child's personality makeup. So I suggest focusing on continuing to expose your daughter to things she might like to do and enjoy watching her do those things.