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Child Behavior  (Expert Forum)
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My 3.5 year old talks back, doesn't listen of follow directions
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development

My 3.5 year old talks back, doesn't listen of follow directions

by ConcernedMom1978, May 02, 2009 01:47PM
My 3.5 year old goes to a montessorri and yesterday for PTA, his teacher had a lot to say about him. They have a yoga class and it seems he never follows the teacher and the other kids do. Even in class when he is given work, he wants to just talk to other kids or himself. He likes to tell stories and is social.. wants to make friends. But he cannot concentrate. I just told him to write 1-20 and he just won't. After writing till 5, he is just not interested. It's not that he doesn't know his numbers, he just can't concentrate. He wants to do other things, he wants to sing, he gets hungry, thirsty etc. He lies, he says he will finish but then he gets hungry, then he jumps and fall to the floor and starts to cry and say he has a bubu. I am not sure what to do.
I don't like that he is having to stand out side and gets picked on infront of other kids every week. I think it will start to affect how other kids treat him. I don't know if it is the school/ teacher's fault or if it is my son. I mean he is only 3.5. I don't know if he is supposed to be able to do things his teacher is asking him to. Or maybe he has ADD or something. He writes his numbers and letters backwards sometimes. He has started to read a little but if it says 'NO' and he will read 'ON'. When I ask him to read again, he does read correctly. And he can't concentrate. I have no idea what to do. I am really scared. I don't want to push him and turn him off towards education, but I want him to be able to concentrate. PLEASE HELP,PLEASE HELP.. I am really scared for my son."
Member Comments (3)

by lynnehla, May 02, 2009 03:12PM
oh my gosh!  What school is your child at?  3 1/2 years old and you are expecting him to write all those numbers.  most 3 1/2 year olds can't write anything.  I have been teaching preschool for many years, It is completely normal for a child of that age to not pay attention during group activities that they may not be interested in.....what you describe seems completely age appropriate......I may be misunderstanding something, but from what you say I would be checking out other schools and see how they compare to your school in expectations.

by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., May 03, 2009 09:40AM
The expectations of what your son should be doing at this age are not at all realistic. The main issue may well not be his behavior or reactions per se, but how he is being exposed to demands that are beyond his readiness from a developmental perspective. It might be worthwhile to look for a preschool program that emphasiszes 'learning by doing/playing' and that focuses on children learning to socialize by engaging in parallel play.

by indigo39, May 05, 2009 10:03PM
I agree...You might try a different Montessori school that's more laid-back. Your son sounds a lot like mine...he is currently loving his Montessori school where they have 'stations' they can choose from, so that if he's bored with learning numbers, he can play/learn about science or language instead. As for his concentration and reading, he may just not be interested yet. RELAX, and let him be a child for a little longer! You can work on his Harvard applications later. : )
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