My son is 4 1/2 years old. He potty trained well around 2 yrs and has had really no issues with it that we were aware of. Lately though we noticed his bedroom started to smell like urine a lot. We assumed it was our dog. He does wear a pull-up to bed since he can't quite make it through the night, and sometimes he will leave full ones under his bed in the morning that we don't find right away. Well the other day I noticed his floor was wet and the dog was outside. When i asked him about it he admitted that he had peed and claimed he couldn't get to the bathroom in time (which is 6 feet away). Well yesterday i walked in and he had knelt down on the floor by his bed and was peeing (intentionally) on the floor under his bed. He admitted to me that he does it all of the time but when i asked him why all i can get is "because" (his famous response to everything).
Is there anyone who has gone through a similar situation and can offer some advice? I don't want to have to run him to a psychiatrist who is going to charge a ridiculous amount of money to find out he pees "because".
Have you ever made him clean his own mess? He needs to see first hand what it is like to clean his own messes. This will not hurt him in any way. You need to make him respect you. It doesn't sound like he respects you at all. Does he do any house chores at all. Start incorporating these into his daily routines. Have him help you with the cleaning of his room and when this happens, you can be constantly talking to him about his behavior being unacceptable. Usually if you tell him that his friends don't do this and that will entice him to be a big boy. He can help with dishes and laundry and vacuuming and sweeping and mopping, etc. Especially if he is to do his own laundry that stinks, he won't like this and it may help him to understand how this makes you feel as his parents cause he'll feel the same way. Sad. Tell him how his behaviors make you feel. He is in a transition right now where his is mentally maturing and is growing up. So this is your perfect opportunity to help him along the way. Then as he helps you to do chores around the house, maybe you could reward him for his work. Doing something fun with him. He will feel like he has made you proud and he has accomplished something. Even something as simple as watching a movie and maybe having a movie night for just the two of you will help. Make this a reward for his good behavior. I think the peeing thing on the floor is for your attention. Kids will do anything to feel like their getting your attention. If they feel left out, they'll do just about anything to feel like they're succeeding in getting your attention whether it be good or bad attention. Does he have any issues which would warrant him wearing pull ups to bed. A weak bladder? Too much to drink before bed time? Maybe for a while, you should get him up maybe once to twice a night to go to the bathroom. This should help him completely potty train. At the age of 4 though, he should be potty trained well with little to no accidents. Have you ever made him go pick up his pull ups and throw them out on his own? I would refuse to pick those up after him. He is old enough to do this little clean up on his own.
My 7.5 yr old son who has a intellectual disability and only learns at the age of 4 yrs old is made to clean his messes up because we have been catching him peeing around the toilet onto the floor. He does this because he doesn't pay attention. So we make him clean his own messes and wash the floor with dish soap and water. He is not allowed to come out of the bathroom until his mess is cleaned up properly and he has to sit there and talk with us about his behavior. He also has ADD on top of everything and has a rare form of epilepsy and is on 5 different medications for all of his health issues. His ADD cannot be dealt with at this time due to uncontrolled seizures but he hasn't has a seizure in about 3 months. But he could very well start seizing at any point of time. He also helps out around the house to the best of his abilities doing dishes with me or helping his dad with yard work or helping me to do laundry. He loves mopping and vacuuming. We let him do this to keep him busy. Of course he is supervised though. We will reward him and our other children with swimming in our pool or going to the park to play or maybe having ice cream or having a movie night or something of this accord. But they all have to pull their own weight around here. I hope this has helped you out. Good Luck
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