4 yr. old son

[ejty454]

Son as been attending preschool/day care since he was 18 months old, on a f/t basis.He was a bitter at that age. In the toddler class he bit other children & of course he was bitten, too.I do understand that some toddlers are bitters.There were no behavior signs in the toddler room.When he moved to the preschool room at the age of 2 & a half, he was not being a good listener with his teacher & sometimes had a hitting problem.I thought he was looking for his teachers attention.They did disciplne him when needed, they used the time out method.One day i was there to pick him up & he was sitting in a chair, like a small high chair type thing. Well. while he was walking around with this chair to his butt, he was knocking over other chairs.I was highly embarrassed.The next day, again, his teacher was out, there was another teacher in his room, whom he was not very familar with nor was I.He didn't want to stay, so I tried to calm him down.The teacher came over told him mom has to go to work & grapped his arm.I stepped back to see if she was going to calm him down but not,as she was grapping his arm for him to go in the room, he fell over & bit her on her ankle.I felt so bad.I really didn't know this new teacher.This preschool could not accomodate my son the director said that her teachers were threatening to quit, which I thought was bull.She just didn't want to deal with it.I guess I can't blame her.I didn't take him there anymore.Now, I give him about a month break from preschool & then I send him somewhere else, for 3 days a week.Which I've been told that they are strict with their behavior policies.Right away I notice that the teacher they placed him with is very melo.I thought that might be a problem when dealing with a 3 yr old aggresive boy, who has a 11 yr brother & they like to playfight and all that fun boy stuff.He wouldn't listen to her & was being defiant.I met with that director.The director did tell her that maybe he is looking for her attention and maybe she should make him her helper sometimes, so he feels wanted.We tried behavior reward system & it worked.There was a mis communication about how the reward system was suppose to work and it didn't work about a month later.His teacher says to me that maybe it's her and I could request another teacherperfect, so I did.He was placed with a teacher who has an 8yr old, his other teacher had a baby.He was fine never has been a problem for his teacher.I would leave him, when he didn't want me to leave, she would pick him up, hug him, 2 minutes later he was fine.No aggressive behavior for her but he was with her for 3 mnths.His teacher leaves at 3:00pm, then her class goes with other teachers.Last week, he hit another child, was told he was going to go to office and he didn't want to go, so he ran out of the room,3 teachers ran after him, bad move, they pick'um up & he screamed&hit'um.Next day after 3pm, bad day again.He was dismissed.Do we have a problem child?He gets aggressive w/brother, too.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Yes, this is a problem. Your son's behavior is far outside the norm for his age. The precise nature of the problem, though, will require evaluation. It could be a straightforward behavior problem, requiring only a systematic method of behavior management. Or his behavior could be symptomatic of a juvenile-onset mood disorder.  It would be prudent to arrange an evaluation with a child psychologist  or other pediatric mental health professional.

[ejty454]

he just turned 4, in february.