My step parent section..

[here4theinfo]

So this is what I have, this space, my ideas, opinions,responses and questions aren't always perfect, but I just want to have this space to say THANK YOU to all of the "step parents". Being a child of divorce and a mother of divorce, I have had "step parents", my kids have had "step parents" and I have been a "step parent"..Its like a world that revolves around "step parents". I noticed awhile back on these boards there are easy ways to upset people. Being a "step parent" with any problem is one way. It can be any problem and the boards blow up and usually "turn" againest the "step parent". It can be from the smallest "how to get my step child to kiss me, to how do I disipline my step child", and before you know it, peoples replies become judgemental. I think it may just be a "group" of elders that had parents that were married forever that don't quite understand the whole "step parent" situation. Sometimes, being a "step parent" is not a choice, sometimes it is, whatever the "step parent" reason is, I think it is just wonderful that there is another person to love our children!!! Our society should be more approving of it because it is the REALITY, not badger the "step parent" for trying to do what a normally responsible/irresponsible biological parent should be doing. Which brings me to why I am leaving this post, if you find that you are a "step parent" frustrated by 'badgers" and you can not find a helpful answer, post your question here, for now, and I with what ever powers I have, will be an easy listener and hoping helpful answer. Yes, I know this is quite a strestch, but I guess Im tired of reading posts where "step parents" dont ever get an answer, and by the time they do, they usually are frustrated and dont post anymore replies. This forum is supposed to be helpful to everyone, and I feel I can be a helper, and I know there are others on here who are very helpful, so give it a try. I want to see what kind of things I can accomplish that are positive. Thank you so much for reading this! Have a nice day!!

[here4theinfo]

Hi, with your son Tristan, it is very important to find out why he is having his emotions, when he can talk openly about how he feels, then it will only benefit everyone, including himself because he will be able to eventually know himself full circle, especially when he gets older. I dont think your husbands thing is to much of a "step" thing, and this is why. Men in general and from my experience, dont like to dip into their "emotions", so when there child does, they react with the man tude, of "close up and get over it". I am not saying every man does that, nor am I saying that is precisly what is happening, but it has been my experience. Not many men will sit down and have a one on one trying to figure out the true reason for behavior, they kinda want to just nip it in the bud. So, as far as your son goes, everyone knows moms will listen, so try to listen to what he says, and then talk to your husband about it, ironically, your husband might discuss it with you away from the child. See, if he has any better ideas, or if there are "man /boy" things they could do together to allow your son to release some of his tension.
I think your doing a great job..Why was he in the hospital? I know it was for aggression, but what did they treat him for? Im just wondering, ok, have a good day..

[littlesare]

I have 3 children to my ex-husband.My new partner has a child and we have a child together. We have his daughter every weekend(fri-sun) and its fantastic! My children love their step-dad to bits and my stepdaughter keeps asking when she can move in with us!! We get no nasty or bad behaviour but we do get a lot of silliness and sometimes we get arguing from the girls (2 9 yr old & 1 10 yr old) but it dosent last long and they are soon the best of friends again. Maybe im just lucky that all the children are quite responsible and also my boyf's ex is very understanding when it comes to money if she asks for something for their daughter and we cant afford it we sit and *** to an arrangement sometimes she buys it and we pay her back the following week or she pays half and we pay half. The children understand that if one gets a treat they all get a treat we have 5 children b'tween us and they all get treated the same. When my children visit their father for the day  he always buy's them a present so my stepdaughter and my son get a present of their father(my boy'f) and they understand . There was a bit of jealousy when my boy'f and i first got together mainly from my step daughter,because she had her dad to herself for 4 years, and from my son because he didnt want his mum to have a friend he was only 4!.It didnt last long about 3 months or so i think if step parents just persevere and treat all children the same then eventually things will come good.Also remember that the step child has to leave their home and stay in some one elses. Try to make it their home aswell my step daughter has her own bed, chest of drawers and 2 full toy boxes in the bedroom she leaves her things here because she chooses to at xmas and b'days she decides what she wants to take to" home with mum" and what she wants to keep at "home with dad and sarah"

[rebbecca]

My son recently got out of the hospital because of his aggressive behavior. My husband {stepdad} doesnt have much to do with him, but it did seem to get better thursday-----sunday. Well his daughter arrived for the week on sunday.And stepdad attitude towards tristan changed. Well yesterday Tristan didnt have a good afternoon in school and he came home in a hateful mood. Stepdad jumped him saying, do you want to go back there, because you acting like this is why you went in , in the first place. Also telling him your going in time out because he was trying to tell me what was wrong. Yes tristan was getting loud about it but he also has a hard time with his feelings.

I guess my question is what to do now?? I am doing everything I can to help tristan with the problems he is having but it feels one sided. Oh, by the way, tristan is adhd, odd, and has a mood disorder. He takes risperdal and concerta daily.

[here4theinfo]

I was just checking on everyone, how is everyones week? Any one have anything going on? I got an answer from MedHelp about the Step Parent forum, this is what they said: Hi,

This is one we hadn't thought of before, so we'll add it to the coming list and see what we can do. This could easily be a sub-forum within the Child Health family of forums we have. Thanks for the suggestion.
Kinda hoping for it to go up..Allright, well have a good one

[here4theinfo]

I completly understand, when I as pregnant I read a couple stories that just through me into a panic and crying out of control. I couldnt handle it back then. I am so sorry about your friend, is she doing ok? Really, if she needs someone to talk to, please have her email me. I dont know how much help I can be, but maybe I can be alittle. Anxiety is terrible, I deal with it allmost everyday. That and panic attacks, thats why I like the computer, no one can see me having them..haha.You are very blessed with what you have, problems or not, God gave us gifts, it is our job to keep them on Gods path. Have a relaxing weekend, everything will be ok, the thing with control, I found no one really has it, its in Gods hands, he has the control I thought I did, so I pray for him to give me strength and answers. It was really hard to realize that, for me, I liked to be in control, and slowly over the last 3 years or so I have been losing control, of my body, my step kids, and now my baby. So I have given God the control to help me just get through all of this.Its really hard.

[here4theinfo]

Hi, thank you so much for taking the time to read Jaidens story. He was so special! His story is going to be in a newspaper and a magazine, Im waiting to find out when, maybe Monday. I prayed so much for him, but their were so many signs, I just cant beleive it happend to us, this is something I would wish no one had to live through, its truly heartbraking.We take things for such granted until something like this happens,, and then everything seems important. Thank you for loving your kids more, it is so important. No one ever knows when something like this is going to happen. Thank you again.