Potty Training

I am having a problem potty training my 3 1/2 year old daughter. She refuses to go on the toilet or potty. I put her in underwears now for about half the day. The problem is that she will not even just pee in her pants she will hold it in the whole time. I will try to get her to sit on the toilet or potty but she will only sit on it when she feels that it is not coming. When she feels that is coming then she will start screaming and crying to get up. She will cry for a diaper if I dont give it to her then she will try to hold it in again. I am afraid that if she keeps on holding it in like that she will get an infection. If she would at least pee in her pants then maybe it would be a little easier to get her on the toilet or potty. But she wont. She has seen me and her older (a 6 year old) sister go to the washroom so she knows how it is done. Kindergarten is starting in September and it is required that she be potty trained. Please help I dont know what to do.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It's important that you know that a large number of children are not trained by the age of your daughter, though most are. If you want to eliminate the pull-ups, then do so entirely. Going half-way is not working, so it's sensible to alter your strategy. An alternative course would be to return to pull-ups and set a date on which you would eliminate them. It's OK to talk with your daughter about 'getting ready' for her pre-school program and how children must be able to use the toilet in order to attend the school. Does your daughter voice any particular alarm or fear concerning the toilet? I take it that what happens now is that she waits until she has the pull-ups and then urinates. So eliminating that option might be your best bet, but do so in a suportive, patient and understanding manner.

[peekawho]

There's some great ideas on this thread:

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ChildBehavior/messages/33696.html

[RockRose]

Ramona,  if she's 3 1/2,  isn't she too young for kindergarten in September?

[Romana]

Actually, kindergarten goes by age, so all the kids born in 2003 will be starting Junior Kindergarten in September. She is born in December so therefor she will be starting at the age of 3.

[beth67]

I know this sounds harsh, but you need to put her in panties I think pull ups are a cop out. If you are worried about the mess put rubber pants over. I trained all 4 of my kids this way and they trained quickly night and day. Is your daughter a stubborn child? Have you tried the reward thing this might work. I just finished training 2 of my dayhome kids they are both done night and day. We used the reward system 1 gummie bear for pee and2 for poop. They were both done in about 1.5 weeks. Also lots of praise, try a new potty that she picks out and let her decorate it with stickers. If she feels she's important and a big girl you'll have her done in no time Best of luck and don't give up Remember NO PULL UPS LOL