Son is holding his poo

[CUTIETHlNG]

My son is 5.  My issue is that he is holding his poo.  My son became potty trained around turning 4.  He went through 6 months of doing great.  We had a couple issues about pooing so we started using candy as a reward for going to the bathroom.  Then he started forcing himself to poo to get the candy by putting his finger in his butt, I know it was disgusting.  So we stopped using candy.  For the last 1.5 yr he will sit on the floor in the corner and hold his poo.  We have tried rewarding him, toys, video game time and even tried candy again.  Nothing at all is working.  We know he is not constipated because he turns red, almost purple, trying to hold it.  We eat a lot of fruits and vegetables because of this issue.  I know that yelling and punishment are not the answer.  I had one doctor tell me to ignore it, when I ignore it he will go as long as a week without going to the bathroom.  Right now we are at 6 days and counting, he is holding it in.  We gave him prune juice and this morning I gave him some "Little Tummies Laxative" and hope this works.  I don't want to give him laxatives because I know your body can begin to depend on them.  I just don't know what to do.  I have even tried a poo game where he competes with his sister who is 4 and goes poo almost every day.  The first one to 10 poos wins a prize.  This is not working at all.  I have tried pointing out to him when we go to the bathroom how easy it is and that everyone does it.  When I ask him why the only thing he tells me is that when he sits on the potty it doesn't come out.  This explains why he will sit on the floor next to the potty and when it starts coming out we usually have to put him on the toilet.  When this happens there is smudged poo on the floor and it usually comes out so fast that he pees everywhere too.  We don't get angry at this because it was an effort to poo in the potty.  How long is too long to go without a bowel movement and how do I help my son figure this whole thing out?  

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Your son is constipated, by the very fact that he retained his stool for so long. You are right - it is not wise to turn to laxative use as a strategy. You should turn to his pediatrician, bring your son in for an evaluation, and then follow whatever regimen the doctor prescribes, likely a combination of stool softener and laxative use. Generally once the laxative use stops, continued use of the stool softener for a while occurs. So approach this medically and get the doctor involved in the treatment. One thing the doctor will want to rule out is the possibility of impacted bowel. If this has occurred, a process of cleaning out the bowels will commence.

[mom_to_a_superhero]

Hello!

I have a 4-year old son who is also holding his poop and has been for the past 3 years...He said he doesn't want to let it out because it hurts him... (It doesn't really hurt him, because his poop is not hard, well, it gets hard overtime that he holds it in, but it is not hard at all.) I think it's psychological, as what the doctors have told me from the past.... My mother-in-law used suppository on him a little bit over 1 year old to help him "go"... SO now he thinks that anyhthing that goes in and out of his bum will hurt him...THis problem has deteriorated over the years as we are lucky if he goes once a week, to-date, he hasn't gone for 3 weeks almost!!!!  I have aligned specialist appointment left and right...
My other problem is that even though he tries to hold it in, he can only hold in so much that he would still have streaks and sprays on his diaper (yes diaper because of the situation that he still streaks his underpants) We can't wash him every 2 minutes and he wouldn't let us anyway, he would fight anybody who touch him to wash him and CRY!!!  Therefore his bum area is wounded because poop will stay there for hours until he finally gets washed.... Like you I have tried everything: reward-system, change of diet, laxatives, role-playing, threats, getting mad, being nice etc... nothing has worked!!!  I am so worried about his health because we he feels it's coming, he would run to a corner, twist his whole body and cross his legs so it doesn't come out...(I'm scared that he might dislocate his hips or pop his knees)... one time I was giving him a bath and I saw how he controls his poop... he would suck his stomach all the way up that you can wrap around your one hand on his waist, which means (or atleast I think) that his stomach, kidney, liver and other internal organs go all the way up to his ribs....it was shocking!!! I started crying.... The other day he wanted to pee (trained already) but now even his pee doesn't want to come out even if he wants to... I think this is because he puts too much pressure on his tummy!  

I am sorry to write very long, I amr eally concerned about him and I pray every night that he pass this stage... It is a struggle for him every 5 minutes every day for the past 3 years.... and when he can't finally hold it in, or when my husnad and I physically force him (hold him and open his legs) then it will come out very BIG that it clogs out toilet, but very rare that this happens as his mind is very powerful of holding it in....