Startles easily

My son is 5 years old.  He is having a slight adjustment problem (he was home with mom and now is in kindergarten--he cried the first week but is now trying to deal with reality)He is generally a moody person,but my major concern is that when he is playing or concentrating and you call his name or the phone rings, he gets "startled."  He used to cry when he was younger  (he has always "startled easily") but now he gets VERY angry and "goes off" verbally.  He is also manipulative when corrected ""ie. you hate me," "you don't like me," bla bla bla.)  Any suggestions?  Thanks!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Michele,

You don't have to worry about the startled response - your son is simply concentrating on one thing and then is being interrupted. As children develop, their ability to re-focus their attention and concentration generally improves.

One approach that helps is to go up to him when you need to interrupt his concentration and gently call his name, perhaps softly touching his shoulder. And be careful of your response when he does react in an angry manner. Don't respond in kind, but rather maintain your equanimity.

[wanted to mention...]

have you had his hearing evaluated?  Sometimes startling easy can be the reaction to a loud noise by people that are hard of hearing.  Anger and frustration are also traits of hard of hearing.  Just a thought.....