fas?

[samommy3]

I have a six , almost seven, year old step son who lives with us but his mother has 4 days a month visitation. I have been his primary mother figure since he was barely 2 and he has not lived with her since he was a baby. She smoked a lot of marijuana when she was pregnant with him. My husband and I have 2 other kids together (3 years and 10 mo.)While I realize some is due to having two families, our life at home here is very stable and a lot of the problems seem deeper than that. We sent him to kindergarten but had to take him out because he was always in trouble at school. Throwing things in the class, trying to bite the teacher, throwing his lunch on the floor and stomping on it. It was never ending.  He, even in the last two months, has worsened 10 fold. I have home schooled him so he is a head of his classmates academically but his behavior is atrocious. I have always been one to "choose my battles" and at the same time stick to my guns. We have tried every form of punishment from rewards, to chores, to sentences, to timeouts, to spankings and nothing phases him. He will pee on the floor on purpose because he wants to. After countless times of us telling him never to wrap things especially plastic bags around your head, he just last week stood in a bag. I told him no those are not to play with and watched him put it up. He waited until I turned around, took his 3 year old sister down in his room shut the door and wrapped her up in it head first.He put himself in one also.When i asked him why, he said that he didn't want me to see what he was doing. (I dont ever lead him into answers)Thank god I checked on them when I did.) He and his sister were sitting on her bed coloring each other with makeup for about 1/2 hr I thought it was so cute I went in several times to take pictures. In that time he colored hot pink make up on a thirty dollar characture, that was up on the hall wall, of he and his sister from when they were little and colored her victorian doll. This is after countless instances of him getting in trouble for coloring on the wall, on his pants, on his desk.. he is almost 7! He is very destructive and breaks everything. He climbs on everything in the house after he has been repeatedly told not to and punished for it since he was 2. I mean up into window sills, all over  all types of furniture, and people. They will tell him over and over to stop and he wont and they get really annoyed.It is really embarassing.My neighbor just recently told me she didn't want to offend me but she said he is out of control.Another scary thing is he often doesn't remember people or things. While writing sentences for coloring the picture he has scribbled on the floor in the kitchen and ruined my candle in the bathroom. I am worried and wondering that he may have some kind of fas from his mother doing drugs while pregnant. Is this possible and what can i do to deal with him? I miss my sweet little boy and worry about the safety him and my other children

[Jodytami]

A related discussion, fas and decipline? was started.

[Jodytami]

A related discussion, fas and decipline? was started.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

This is not the type of situation you should try to manage by yourself. Your son requires professional intervention, beginning with a thorough evaluation. It would probably be best to have this done through a pediatric hospital, where you will have access to multiple disciplines. While fetal alcohol syndrome is possible, it's not obvious from anything you are describing. In other words, such significant behavioral disorder can be symptomatic of a number of conditions. If you don't have access to a pediatric hospital, arrange for your son to see a child pcychiatrist and child psychologist. If you are insured, check with the insurance company about possible hospitalization or so-called partial hospitalization (a day program where intensive evaluation can occur). Finally, you should request evaluation for special services from your school district. Per federal guidelines, each school district is mnadated to evaluate children who dipsplay such obvious special needs.