angry 5 year old

[helplessmommy]

My 5 year old son seems to be so angry these days.  Whenever we ask him to do something or correct him on anything he instantly starts screaming at us, balls his fists up, and has often been known to actually hit, kick, pinch...etc. us.  I thought it was just a phase but it has only gotten worse over the past 6 months to a year and it is really worrying me.  He gets mad at his little brother and immediately hits, kicks, bites, scratches...you name it...and sometimes even grabs him by the throat and chokes him.  I don't know what to do.  We try to calmly stop him but he just ignores us until eventually we end up losing our temper too.  We know this isn't good for any of us and we are afraid he will really hurt someone or himself one day.  What can we do?  Will he out-grow this or does he need to see  someone for it.
He is also a very creative child, always coming up with "projects" that he wants to do that are above the capability of a 5 year old, even most adults for that matter.  Things such as cooking gourmet meals, building real laboratories, a working robot, his own house out of actual building materials.  We have tried to let him make "pretend" versions of these things but he is just not interested unless it's the real thing.  Could his behavior be a product of his pent up creativity?  If so, what can we do to help him release this energy in a positive way, in a manner suitable for a 5 year old?
I am a teacher and have seen many things but this tops the list.  I am out of ideas and at my breaking point.  PLEASE HELP!!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Relative to the second concern, be sure to expose him to situations in which he can engage in creative pursuits. Check out the resources in your area (e.g., young children's art classes). It is the first situation that is worrisome. How do you discipline him when he acts in an aggressive fashion? How do you manage those situations? The degree of aggression you describe is far outside the norm for his age, so you have good reason to be concerned. It would be prudent to arrange an evaluation with a pediatric mental health professional, such as a child psychiattrist. Is there any family history of mood disorder? It is possible that he is displaying the early signs of a juvenile onset mood disorder and this should be evaluated.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You are doing fine by relying on the time out method when he misbehaves. It would be better to employ a time out chair vs going to his room. If you would like a reliable and straightforard guide to behavior management, read Lynn Clark's book SOS Help for Parents.

[helplessmommy]

We have looked into some of the creative resources in our area and are trying to get him involved in at least one, they are a bit expensive though.  And to answer your question, no there is no history of mood disorders in our family, on either side, at least not that we are aware of.
As far as discipline goes, we could sure use some suggestions on what to do.  We typically remove him from the situation, which generally results in spending time alone in his room until he settles down.  The only problem is we don't feel that that is helping him to NOT act that way.  He goes to his room, very reluctantly, calms down, we talk to him about what he did and how we feel about it, let him go back to playing or resuming normal activity, but then as soon as something happens he doesn't like, it all starts over again.  Is there something else we could try that might help him understand why what he is doing is wrong?  Or even something we could suggest that would be an okay way for him to express those feelings without hurting someone?  I do tell him that it is okay to be mad or sad or angry and that it is okay for him to tell us how he is feeling but it's NOT okay for him to yell at us or hurt us.  He seems to get it but doesn't follow it when he's all fired up.