My 6 year old only acts up when mom is around

[ab4u38]

My 6 year old son only acts up when I'm around.  To the point that he hits me, kicks me, yells, whines, throws completely out of control tantrum behviors and DOES NOT listen to anything I say.  Even when we are in public.  I get completely embarressed that my son acts this way.  He is going to therapy because I thought maybe he had ADHD because his impulsiveness is out of control sometimes. His doctor thought he could be on the spectrum of that but not to do anything at this point.  I talked to his teacher and she said that he does not act up in class.  She says hes a great student and well behaved. She told me that she believes he does not have ADHD and doesn't act like the students who actually have been diagnosed.  I also talk to other adults in which my son is around when I'm not around, and they tell me he is a very good kid and always listens. Especially the male parents.   As soon as he knows I'm around, its like he turns into a monster.  At home, I've taken away toys, I've put him in his room, put him in time outs and all I get is an OUT OF CONTROL 6 year old boy.  I mean literally kicking the walls, throwing things, destroying property, screaming like hes a crazy person.  I don't know what else to do. Why does he act that way only with me.  Am I not doing my job right as a parent?  Oh, and I'm a single parent at that. His dad also moved half way across america, so he isn't around to help. HELP!

[gr8mom22]

I have the same issues with my daughter who is 5.... It is very frustrating.  You are not alone.  My husband and I are the only ones who see this behavior.... the doctors, teachers we have spoken to don't see it as a problem... I have even seen Childhood Mental Health, and taken a course called Child Parent Relationship Training (might be worth a try for you... it involved play therape).  Good Luck to you...

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

As you can see, the problem is in the parent/child relationship; it is not in him. For this reason therapy for him will not be very useful. It's important that you develop more competence in managing his behavior and you are going to need help in accomplishing this. Consult a behavior specialist and, to help you along, read Lynn Clark's book SOS Help for Parents (see www.sosprograms.com).