playing doctor

[yankeemom]

My eldest daughter is about to turn 8 and she is very bright, articulate and fun-loving.  She started 3rd grade and is one of the youngest in her class and is also in the gifted program, but her dad and I also think her behavior is sometimes a little young for her age.  For example, in the past few years, we have caught her "playing doctor" a few times, always with females.  Since she was really little, she has liked to run around naked (Not all the time, but before a bath maybe.) and I haven't been ashamed to be seen nude after a shower or when changing clothes.  That said, I'm growing concerned b/c we have told her that she it is not appropriate for her to look at or touch another person's naked body and yet she just did so about a month ago with her 5 year old cousin.  Let me repeat that this is not happening on a continual basis - this has occured a few times over the course of several years.  She just seems to be so comfortable with nudity, although there have been a few occasions where she has asked for privacy from her dad while in the bathroom or while changing.  From when she was 5 and she thought she and her cousin (then 2) should get into an empty bathtub, naked, and wait for me to give them a bath (which is all they did) to being with a like-aged friend of hers and them kissing each others' behinds (at age 6 or 7, I can't recall) - I don't know what is OK and what isn't.  Last night, my girls (her sis is 2 1/2) ran to get ready for a bath but I became distracted by someone at the door.  When I got to them, they were both undressed and the little one was on the floor covered with towels.  The eldest said that the youngest hit her on her back so the eldest smacked the little on on the butt.  I got very upset b/c we've had discussions about "private parts" and not touching anyone before.  I told her this included family members and she said she didn't know that.  Am I making too much out of this?  

[yankeemom]

Thank you so much.  That is really good to hear.  :)

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You are doing fine. Her behavior is not alarming, but it does invite your continued common-sense limit setting. Now at her age, and with your repeated directions, it is also OK to assign some automatic consequence should there be any other violation of your rule. A sensible consequence would be a time out (e.g., ten-fifteen minutes). Let her know this will occur if there is any repeat of the behavior. Again, though, this is not an alarming situation. Keep doing what you are doing; you're handling it just fine.