Daughters Sleep

[Signo]

My daughter will be 10 in July.  She has always been a wonderful sleeper and loves to spend time in her bedroom playing with her toys and sitting in bed drawing and playing before she goes to sleep.  Recently some boys in her class room started to tell 'scary ghost stories' for the first week or two she went along however it bothered her and she told the boys to stop, this of course led them to tell her even more stories and follow her around she then started to tell me and by which time this 'fear' had gotten hold.  She started to not sleep sobbing alone in her bed as she got worn down i realised she had a problem she looked awful and did not concentrate, i put a letter into school which had no effect.  The main fear and story was of 'bloody mary' whereby a girl will come out of the mirror into her room and wait for her so when she is asleep she will 'get her'.  Distraught i have been to the school several times and the stories have stopped but it appears too late for my daughter to deal with, she sobbed and was shaking head to foot when she had to discuss to the t eacher it broke my heart.  Now many weeks later she only sleeps if she is with me, my latest ploy is to sleep with her in her bed until she is in a deep sleep and return to my bed in the hope she will sleep though the night to prove she will be ok but she wakes if i am not there and will look for me no matter how tired she will drag herself up , she genuinely is deeply bothered.  My husband feels she is 'putting it on' but she speaks quite openly that she knows i am trying to help but she cannot get these awful things from her mind.  Of a day she is ok but the teacher says her personal confidence is dropping so does her private tutor i have to help her with her maths and english.  Should i now take her to a doctor , we all need a good night sleep but most importantly i want my little girl to enjoy her young days the say she did.

[teddybears4ever2]

I agree with Margy. You should not have made her relive it to her teachers. This should have been discussed with a therapist. They see this kind of thing, and are trained in it. Teachers are not.
Maybe you should get her a safety bear. Tell jet this is Mr Bear, and he has come to protect you from all the scary things.
I think a night light might help as well. It's alright to need one.

[margypops]

It also sounds as if a lot was made of it and down playing is now the way to go, I dont think she is making it up but I think all the attention has made it worse , and it is possible she is 'milking 'the situation.I do think that you should take her to the doctor and see what advice he will give you ..In my opinion the way to handle it, will be no more talk about it, and then work out with her a night/time frame for her to sleep alone, tell her that on 'Friday I am going to come in read some stories to you, and then go back to my room to sleep with Daddy'.'and be consistant , let her have a light on if she wishes ,but firmness is the only way .Or sleep with her until she isnt afraid ....good luck

[paperclip46]

You have to let her know that  - she can deal with it ! -  Put something like a rotating light in her room. Something that moves. A fish tank at her age is a good idea. Ask her if she thinks one of these would help.

Then tell her that she can deal with it in a kindly way and ask her how she would like to approach it.  Do  not give in to her fears by sleeping with her. She will lose courage in herself then. She has the capacity to deal with problem, just be encouraging.

All the best