toilet training

Have you any suggestions on how to toilet train my 3 1/2 son?  I tried when he was 2 1/2, but he refused so I just thought I would wait till now.  I started in November but he just refused to wear pants - he said they hurt.  I have now got him wearing pants.  When at home I put him in pants.  I ask him if he has to go to the toilet, but he will often say no. When he does go to the toilet he doesn't do anything but then 5 minutes later may wet him self (he has only weed actually in the toilet twice).  He starts kindy next month and I would like to have him on the way to being toilet trained by then.  Any suggestions would be appreciated.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Ruth,

Your son is at a good age for toilet training - i.e., he now likely has the sphincter control necessary to accomplish this developmental milestone.

Have a children's potty or potty seat available to him, and employ a simple sticker chart to serve as an incentive. When he chooses to use the potty, place a sticker on the chart and give him some modest treat as a reward - this will reinforce the behavior and increase his motivation.

Also, it's usually helpful to employ some of the readily-available children's literature about toilet training. These are usually stories meant to be read to the child by the parent. Some are accompanied by little toys or dolls for the child to use as well.

If you're supportive, encouraging and patient, he will likely do fine.

[kristin]

Hello, I hope you can help me.
My daughter, who will turn three in March 2001 refuses to open her bowels on the toilet. She is fully "wee" trained, day and night but whenever she needs to open her bowels she gets a "pullup", puts it on herself and does her business. Then she comes to get me to change her.
I think it stems back to when she did a bowel action on the floor by accident and stood in it. It took months before she would even open her bowels without vomitting. I believe she is physically ready so how can we overcome this apparent fear of opening her bowels on the toilet?
We have tried no nappy for a couple of days but that distressed her incredibly, we've tried getting her to sit on the toilet with her "pullup" on while doing a bowel action and Ive even tried bribes of lollies but to no avail.

Help!!!

[a.Smith]

My three shows no interest in toilet trainig. He dose saty dry for severl hours. we believe he is ready to toilet train. He has developed a behavior of putting his hand in his pants and either smearing his feces or eating it. What  is going on here? He is also non-verbal.