Fear of cancer returning

[Stephers12]

Hi there everyone. I had surgery in Nov 08 to remove a tumor in my small intestine that was cancer. I had a section of my small intestine, a section of my colon, and my appendix removed. They also removed 15 lymph nodes because the cancer had spread through the lining of my intestine to a couple of the lymph nodes. My outer margins were clear so my DR. told me I would not need any chemo or radiation. I have had one blood test done in March which came back clear. My next blood test is in Sept. I just am having a hard time coping with the fear that the cancer is going to return. My family and friends have been awesome supporting me through the surgery and the recovery. I hold in so much of how I really feel about it because I dont want them to worry, or to think I am overthinking it to much. I was wondering if anyone else has had these thoughts or fears and how have you coped with it. Its been 7 months and my body is still adjusting to the surgery. It feels like sometimes my life is focused around my bathroom trips as a result of my surgery. I feel so grateful and lucky that I am ok now but I am sick of this consuming me so much. I am moody and depressed alot lately and I dont want to be anymore. Thank you for listening.....

[skipper203]

I know exactly how you feel.  I was diagnosed with colon cancer about a month ago and I'm now three weeks post surgery.  It's consuming me - it's all I think of.  I'm still tired and am planning on attending a local cancer support group when I  have more energy.  I have another scary condition (hepatitis c) and was freaked out when diagnosed with that but over time got used to the idea of having hep c.  I think the cancer is more frightening so I hope to become more pro-active.  I just noticed some drops of blood in my stool and don't know if I should call my doctor about it now or wait two weeks until my next scheduled appointment.
Enough about me.  Hang in there.  We'll make it through this.

[Stephers12]

Thank you so much for the advice. I will try it out and see how it goes. Good luck to both of you also.

[jdwithhcv]

I think once a person has faced cancer the fear of a recurrence never completely goes away.  I found that as time passes that fear subsides somewhat.  Try not to dwell on it too much.  I do a lot of volunteer work for cancer-related charities and that is a good distraction.  Check out the Lance Armstrong Foundation (livestrong.org).  Go online to the American Cancer Society and find a Relay for Life near you.  Its a great event and you can join a team or just go as a survivor.  Either way, you can devote your nervous energy to something positive.

I'm hoping you remain cancer free!  Best of luck.

[Morecambe]

As you may have seen from my other postings, I underwent a total colectomy and indeed increased frequency of bathroom trips is a consequence of the removal of all or part of your intestines.  In my experience the frequency was ~10 per day after the surgery reducing to ~4 per day after 3-6 months.  How many times are you visiting the toilet daily now?  To reduce the frequency and also the liquidity of your motions you might like to try a diet high in fibre - for example:-

- pulverised fresh vegetables (tasty ones) with added organic bran
- pulverised fresh fruit to which organic bran has been added
- home made muesli (soak organic oats, bran in milk and add grated fruit + nuts + lemon juice).  It looks like wet cement!!
- only organic wholemeal bread
- no junk food, white bread, colas etc
- oh and don't forget the Swiss chocolate "treat"!!

However, from the style of your posting, I interpret that although the physical/toilet visit symptoms are annoying and troublesome, your main fear is that the cancer might recur and you are struggling to remain "positive" during the period of time up to your next check-up??

Maybe the remedy is to ask for an intermediate CT scan - or whatever test is suggested to eliminate (hopefully) the existence of any recurrence.  You might also like to ask your specialist:-

"look - I am always going to be anxious about recurrence of the cancer and how often should I have regular check-ups so that, if there is a recurrence, it is easily treatable??"

My own total colectomy arose as a result of torrential diverticular bleeding and I almost died.  Afterwards I sought psychological help and don't rule out the possibility that this may also be something that you should consider.

Good luck

Morecambe