Hello,
This is extremely embarrassing for me, but I'm at my wits end.
Let me begin at the beginning of this roller coaster ride. For as long as I can remember I have had certain nervous habits. Even as a child I would rock compulsively and bite my nails. I still do those things today, but it has progressed into something much worse.
I gave birth to my first (and only) child in October 2006, that November I had a gall bladder removal. From their my health and well being went down hill. I have had chronic pain throughout my body, it remains unexplained...knowing I'm hurting and something is wrong, yet there are no indications what it could be has really put a lot of stress on me.
Now I have always been a worrier but its getting really bad, I always imagine the worst possible outcome in situations, I cant sleep at night because I seriously think I'm dying, the pain and the anxiety seem to play on each other, each one making the other worse. More recently I have begun to pull out my hair, not just any hair but I feel for a hair that has a thick, rough, or curly texture and pull it out....whats worse...I then nibble it. It's disgusting, but I cant stop! I hate that I do it, but its like its put of my control.
I cant see a doctor because I have no insurance now, and even then Im mortified by it and I dont know if I could talk about it anyway.
What should I do? Whats wrong with me?
I just want to be normal again so I can focus fully on my son and not on my pain or my growing bald spots.
Any advice at all would be great.
Thank you,
-Just Not Right Ohio