My husband might be a hypochondriac

[tinita1976]

Over the last several months my husband has had a huge fear of being infected with HIV, Hepatitis C, or simply somekind of cancer.  The only incident he had was to kiss a girl at a bar 8 months ago, he didn't have oral or vaginal sex. All of these months have been a nightmare for him and me because I have to deal with his fears.  He has taken 20 HIV tests, 3 Hepatitis C tests, all of the other STD tests. He has seen 10 diferent doctors, and has been reassured that he is not infected. Yet every week is a constant struggle with him, he is overly preocupied about his daily stools, urine, color, shape and frequency. He goes on the internet all the time and reads the countless blogs and stories about people who are really infected and he identifies himself with them. I get very upset and frustrated, he doesn't sleep well, he wakes me up crying because he is certain that he is terminally ill. He says that the only reason his HIV tests have been negative is because of somekind of other terminal disease he has. He checks his body daily for new pimples, warts, moles or any kind of change that he doesn't remember he ever had.  When i confront him about his mental problem, he threatens to prove me wrong. In other words he proclaims "I will SHOW YOU I AM TERMINALLY ILL".  I finally convinced him to go to a psychiatrist next week, but he is still convinced that he is really sick. What else can I do to change his mind? I am physically and mentally exhausted.

[Ted A Grossbart, Ph.D.]

What you describe is quite serious and well beyond typical hypochondria.  Make sure the psychiatrist visit happens and consider couples visits as well.  Nothing else will make an impact.

tg

[JonLemming]

Hi tinita,
.
I sympathize with you and this hard time you go trough.
.
This problem is well known to me (I suffer from it). It may have many different label, all meaning "health anxiety". The main problem with tests, science, and life in general, is that nothing is 100% certain, and if your husband asks for perfection, he will never find it. Even if a test was fault-proof, there could be human error from the interpretations of the results. I am sure your husband saw many different doctors because he did not trust any after they made a small error or inaccuracy.
You cannot change his thought because he probably already lost trust in your judgment. What you can do is to direct him in the right direction.
What he must realize by himself, if that even if he was really sick, no one would blame him because he didn't do enough, not even himself because he did already everything a responsible man should have done (he told you about the kissing - he may feel very shameful about this -, and he done every tests known to actual science).  

I highly suggest this book "The Worry Cure" from "Robert L. Leahy". There is a whole chapter named "What if I am really sick?”
It did help me.

I wish the best for both of you,
Jonathan