These intrusive thoughts are very common and don't tell you anything one way or the other about what did or didn't happened or what you will do. The ocfoundation.org site is a good source of information and local referrals.
Get help, this is a very treatable problem.
tg
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you are having these thoughts then it would be a good idea to discuss them with your own doctor.
Both medication and psychotherapy could be useful.
It must be extremely distressing for you to be having these thoughts and also to be wondering whether you were or weren't molested.
I just wanted to offer support and encouragement until you received a response from the doctor.
J