masterbating, how do i stop

[gottastop]

I can't stop masterbating. I've been doing it since i was 15 and am in my mid twenties now. Thats almost 10 years now i've been trying in vain to quit. I ve stopped for short period, about a month, but i always do it again even when i had a girlfreind. Its like i cant get enough. People say that materbating is healthy, well in my case that doesnt hold true. It causes sooo many problems. After i first started masterbating, when i was 15 i noticed an odor about me. I thougt it was just me till people started to tell me i stink. I also am very shaky and often have muscle spasms. Sometimes my head will jerk one way or another with out my control. If i drink water my mouth will constantly produce saliva. when i wake up in the morning my stomach hurts and i feel nauseous. If i drink too many liquids i will have headaches. It also becomes harder for me to breathe through my nose. And i cant smell things as well. I also get really sleepy and my muscles become weaker. I cant do as many situps or pushups. My face becomes very oily and i sweat alot more. I also am very forgetful. My mind becomes slower. There is also a cloudy substance in my urine. My palms  are also sweaty

During the times i stopped all these symtoms went away, but returned once i started back. This has been the case every time. When i say masterbate i mean i actually ejaculate every time. The symtoms havent been as bad when i didnt ejaculate.

Since i have a bad odor only a few people will be around me. Theres also been a few brave people who told me i need to stop. This i know but i just cant. It interferes with school and my social life. I have no freinds and just want to stay in my room so people can breathe fresh air. Wen i go to a basketball game some people actually say i stink and leave. I just want to be normaly. I even treid using acohol and weed to stop but nothing works. I also tried sleeping in pants. I dont want to drink and i certainly hate smoking. I want to be able to go out to eat and drink water with no fear of stinking. Girls tell me i look good but they dont want to be around me because of my odor. I love women but cant have them. I havent slept with a woman since june 2001. THATS SAD!!

THIS IS NOT A JOKE! I hate myself and sometimes get depressed. It is very hard being like this. can u please tell me how to stop this. Do i have a weak mind since i cant stop.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

I don't have an easy answer for you and I know it is a serious problem.  I think you should see a psychiatrist for a complete evaluation, and also talk to your internist about the smell issue. The whole smell issue may be a result of the anxiety or guilt that is generated by the masturbation.  Masturbation itself is not the whole problem, but your guilt about it is probably at the source of your problem.  See a therapist.

[DontKnowMuch]

Hey GottaStop,

Stopping isn't easy, but it's possible.  Here's a few tips.

First you gotta understand that overall ... it is a selfish act.  You only benefit yourself and nobody else by masterbating.  Sex is meant for 2 people not one.  That is the natural way of life.  Whenever you masterbate, your only having sex by yourself.

Secondly, do you ever masterbate w/out fantasizing?  Usually masterbation accompanies fantasizing.  They both compliment each other and make the experience more joyful.  I would say fantasizing precedes masterbation.  Guys usually get in the mood by fantasizing about a hot lady.  Once the fantasizing arouses the guy, the guy usually wants more pleasure and options to masterbates to create an orgasm for him.  

I rarely seen a situation where a person does not fantasize while masterbating.  

That my friend is the answer to your question.  If somehow you can stop fantasizing about hot models/actress/ladies, you will be less aroused.  And if you aren't aroused ... why should you masterbate?

This might sound like a cruel joke, but the secret to not masterbating is not thinking of women in that kind of way.  

And w/ your case if it does help you stop and be able to get a lady.  The result of everything will be.

"By stop thinking of ladies, you have gotten yourself a lady."

Ironic, and cruel, but sadly true.

[I'mallheart]

i am in the same boat. i am happily married and masturbat all the time also..been for years..i think my wife can notice when i do because i cant hold an errection as long and when i *** its not alot of semen. i feel horrible after i do this

[loplop]

I think that if you were to go without masterbation for a long time, that your overall health and sex drive will increase, meaning that your erections will improve, then when you use to masterbate regularly. It's like with an alcoholic, when he stops drinking for awhile he can think clearer.

[Andy16910]

Hi 'gottastop' there is an answer.
In the book science of breath available free at (copy and paste the following link:

http://www.arfalfa.com/ScienceOfBreath/ScienceBreath.htm

Near the end of theis book there is a breathing exersise to raise the energy from the sexual centers to the higher centers within the body. I have used this exersise and I can confirm that interest in sex dropped dramatically with repeated use.

I would also agree with 'DontKnowMuch' that the fantasizing comes first the lusting comes second. I have come to believe that lusting is never satisfied by masterbation. The lusting remains regardless of how many times you 'polish the pole.'
  
Another side to this dilema is that your body is producing sperm at a fanyastic rate and NEEDS to get rid of it. Have you ever heared of 'blue balls'? it is the aching of the testicals in need of sperm relese. It can be painfull as you are probably aware.

Your idea of 'gottastop' is simply one of 'gottacontrol' and you need to WANT to, not feel you HAVE to. As with all things forced there will be a backlash that will tie you to the very thing you are trying to free yourself from if you are forced into it. So how about changing the idea again to 'wannacontrol' ?  The definition is important as YOUR dsire to WANT to control your masterbation will be in direct proportion to the success you achieve. Do you realy want to stop masterbating? Think about it seriously. You would suffer from 'blue balls' not to mention 'glue sheets' I think the answer is down to what you truly desire. If you wish to cut down on your bodies activity/interest in sex use the breathing exersise. Add to this the detached observation of any sexual thoughts allowing them to pass from you mind/atention without interest and you've got it cracked. Should blue balls occur and you feel that you owe it to your body to do the decent thing clear your mind of fantasy and concentrate on sensation alone. This is a real feel good trip that will definatly guarentee satisfaction as opposed to the never ending cycle of lusting which I think is your real problem.

I would be happy to hear any comments,
***@****

[prash]

HELLO SIR,
I AM 24 YEARS OLD. I HAVE BEEN MASTERBATIG FOR THE PAST 6 YEARS. I STAMMER A LOT. BUT FROM THE PAST 3 YEARS WHENEVER I MASTERBATE I STAMMER A LOT. ALSO EVERY TIME AFTER I MASTERBATE MY BREATHING BECOMES IMPROPER THAT IS WHAT I FEEL. BECAUSE OF WHICH I AM NOT ABLE TO SPEAK PROPERLY. AS A RESULT OF THIS I HAVE LOST LOT OF OPPORTUNITIES IN MY CARREER, ESPECIALLY IN MY INTERVIEW, BECAUSE I STAMMERED A LOT IN THE INTERVIEW. SIR ASLO EVEN WHEN I DONOT MASTERBATE DURING NIGHT THAT IS AFTER 8 PM I AM NOT ABLE TO SPEAK PROPERLYI.E I STAMMER. CURRENTLY I AM WORKING IN A BPO WHERE I HAVE TO WORK ONLY DURING NIGHT SHIFT. AS A RESULT I AM NOT ABLE TO SAY MY IDIEAS IN THE OFFICE ENVIRONMENT. I WAS PREVIOUSLY GOING TO A CLASS TO CURE MY STAMMERRING. BUT DUE TO THE WORK PRESSURE I AM NOT ABLE TO ATTEND THE CLASSES. SIR PLEASE INFORM HOW DO I STOP MASTERBATION SO THAT I CAN SPEAK WELL AND LEAD A NORMAL LIFE AS EVERYONE, AND ACHIEVE MY GOALS.
I FEEL WILL GET REPLY TO THESE QUESTIONS, PLEASE IT IS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH.
THANK YOU

[2634]

I too have been masturbating for many years and I think it eventually becomes habitual rather than necesary.  It's like a smoker trying to quit.  You know you shouldn't but do anyway.  I seem to make it part of a daily routine and start even if not aroused or having "thoughts".  I do attempt to control it but the body needs sexual release so after I hold back for awhile, I then need to and start the whole process over again.  Personally I think it ***** and wish it would cahnage.  Good luck, there are worse things we could do.

[PeterParker]

I have tried stopped because I have premature ejeculation, I don't know if stopping will help me. I found it very difficult to stop even for a short period of time, like a week.

[naxx99]

can someone help me out ? !!!

Iam suffering from:

1)constant headaches.

2)heavy muscles and spasms,pain....head,neck,shoulders and other...

3)dizziness.

4)need to sleep all the time doesnt matter how much i sleep i always feel sleepy and tired.

5)changes in my personality, my friends are getting strange thoughts about me thinking iam crazy or weird or etc...

6)lack of concentration....i was thought to have ADD/ADHD...
Iam sure its not my problem cause I did TOVA test...

7)poor/short-term memory

8)depression with no reason.

9)stress causes tremor to hands,arms,head....
the tremor excessively increases when i do physical exercises.
for example when i used to work out at the gym many of my friends noticed the tremor....!
many people notice iam the kind of a very nervous guy...!
when iam in stress, most of my time i dont set, I walk and walk fast and sometimes walking and eating nervously,confused, I think too much and analyze things...Iam a kind of a thinker....
sometimes after stress I feel I need to run...so I start running like for 30 minutes or more and after i finish I feel the tremor almost gone but after few minutes it comes back....!
afterall the tremor isnt really affecting my life.....
but I think my tired muscles increased the tremor.....

10)Iam hyperactive...when Iam in extacy I feel extreme hyperactivity and can imagine and analyze things just like einstein, although I believe lack of concentration and muscular pain causes me somekind of stupidity...

11)I have TMJ pain...when I eat I feel joint pain,earaching...
but the problem isnt only the TMJ my whole body muscles are tired...Iam maybe a bruxer....I was checked by a dentist and
Iam using nightguard and its not relieving the pain....

Iam 18 years old.
I was checked by many doctors for many health problems...
CT scan was done,sinuses and brain all ok...
blood test was done,i had no problems...
no problems in the eyes...i was checked by a neurologist...
I used to set for many many hours on my computer few years ago...

-I started masterbating when I was 12 years old.
-Iam very addicted to masterbation and sex.
-everytime I masterbate I ejaculate.
-I masterbate everyday but Iam trying to stop these days...
still Iam obsessed to masterbation...

when I used to be 13 or 14 years old I remember everyday I used to masterbate 3 or 4 times as an average...
I remember few days I used to masterbate like 6 times and
sometimes more...few days I reached 10 times...and then I got addicted to it...
I had sex many times with diffirent teens....
although I dont have pleasure with real sex...masterbating
gives me much more pleasure....and everytime i had sex I didnt
ejaculate..only one time when I had sex for 30 minutes until I ejaculated...but when I masterbate I ejaculate in few minutes...
when I ejaculate more than one or two times a day the semen seems to be in small amount and like water...
ejaculation increases my  fatigue,headache,dizziness,sleepiness.....

I need a solution.

my life is ruined...I cant even do daily activities...I cant study at home I cant learn at school...headaches all the time...
I stopped excercising because of tired painful muscles...
the headache thing isnt something new to me...I believe the headaches began since I started masterbating many times...Iam talking about when I was 14 years old...and it evolved into something worse...and much more painful...
until this year I noticed something isnt right...
I used to think that the headaches were something natural I always ignored it...and always thought that the cause of it was lack of sleeping...
some days I sleep 6 or 7 hours and other days I sleep like 8,9 or 12 hours....I rarely sleep less than 6 hours...
but what I realized that when ever I ejaculate more and more
I feel need to sleep more hours...



I really need some help !!!!

[LivingTheLife]

I had someone help but this is how I stopped masturbating and looking at porn.

I kept a journal of all the times a day I wished to masturbate or look at porn. I would write down a brief description of the desire and the action taken to try to ignore/resist it. Being that I believe the Word of God, my actions taken to ignore/resist were usually reading the bible or praying (I did not pray that the temptation would be taken away, I prayed that I would be strong enough to overcome it).

At the end of each day I would show the journal to the other person and briefly talk about what I logged in the journal and evaluate my actions.

On days I messed up, we would talk about why and what else could have been done.

After 40 days or so I was pleased to say that I no longer masturbated and neither did I look at porn.

Over the years since upkeep has been necessary, but the difference in my life is great. I had never felt so confident and I also noticed improvements in many areas of my life that were unexpected.

Was it worth it? Without a doubt, YES!!!!

[freddyboy]

Perhaps this might help -

http://www.flirt4free.com

[loplop]

Is it true that if you stop masterbation for a very long time that your sex drive (libido) and sexual health will increase alot? please reply.

[Racing Crab]

Dear naxx99
From what i see in your symptoms...it sure sounds to me like you have a mood disorder...i don't know if anyone has said this to you before...but i know from those signs that you should be evaluated by a psychiatrist...i am pretty sure cause my boyfriend and i both have experienced almost all of those symptoms and we both have a mood disorder...so just kindly asking that you consider what i said because i seriously don't think it has anything to do with your masturbating...also having headaches after orgasm is not uncommon and sometimes is a real problem for some people...

Racing Crab

[Racing Crab]

Dear gottastop
To me it sounds like it a psychosomatic problem...meaning because of the tremendous guilt you feel over masturbating that it would sound like a psychological problem dealing with your stammering...your body is reacting to the a repressed obsession which in your case is the guilt over your frequent self pleasure...some people think it might be a sexual addiction but in order for it to be an addiction it would have to be disruptive with your relationships, your work or your responsibilities or is a health risk...as soon as you deal with the guilt and i think the problem should subside and that doesn't mean you have to stop masturbating...like some people may seem to be saying...we have been told in our childhood if our parents caught us playing with ourselves that it was bad and a sin...but we have learned in this day and age with sexual research that it is a normal healthy pleasure and it exercises the physical body...why should we feel shame for something that is natural gift to the human race...cultures and society play a major part in our views on sex and pleasure and we still have alot to learn

Racing Crab

[antwan]

I have been masterbating for a year and a half now and am stopping due to the effects it can have. I did it to releive myself from stress and when i was in a depress mood. i have been wanting to stop for a couple a months now but found it very hard to do. i am determine to stop because i do not want to have anymore problems later on in my life. my question to anyone who may know the answer is can one recover fully to there normal state of being once you have stopped for a very long time or will i have to take something to help me recover fully. please reply if someone knows it will greatly be appreciated. thanks.

[naxx99]

Dear Racing Crab

what do u mean by mood disorder ???

anxiety,stress,depression ???

[naxx99]

Dear Racing Crab

what do u mean by mood disorder ???

anxiety,stress,depression ???

[alex z.]

I started masterbating four years ago. I CANT STOP, I DO IT ALMOST EVERYDAY. I DO IT SOMETIMES EVEN WHEN I M NOT AROUSED.

When I first began doing it, I would masterbate everyday, sometimes twice a day or more. Then after two years i do it about once every two day. And in my third year I do it about once in every two-three days, but now i started doing it everyday again.

I would go online and watch porn and masterbate. Then after I've done it, I would regret it. But I CANT STOP IT. The longest i ever stopped masterbating is 3 weeks.....

I started when i was 12 years old. Now i m 16 going on 17.  

[alex z.]

I started masterbating four years ago. I CANT STOP, I DO IT ALMOST EVERYDAY. I DO IT SOMETIMES EVEN WHEN I M NOT AROUSED.

When I first began doing it, I would masterbate everyday, sometimes twice a day or more. Then after two years i do it about once every two day. And in my third year I do it about once in every two-three days, but now i started doing it everyday again.

I would go online and watch porn and masterbate. Then after I've done it, I would regret it. But I CANT STOP IT. The longest i ever stopped masterbating is 3 weeks.....

I started when i was 12 years old. Now i m 16 going on 17.  
I WANT TO MASTERBATE RIGHT NOW.... I THINK BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS I WOULD  HAD DONE IT LIKE 3 times or probably even 9 times.

I WANT TO KNOW WHY I STARTED DOING IT AGAIN

[alex z.]

I started masterbating four years ago. I CANT STOP, I DO IT ALMOST EVERYDAY. I DO IT SOMETIMES EVEN WHEN I M NOT AROUSED.

When I first began doing it, I would masterbate everyday, sometimes twice a day or more. Then after two years i do it about once every two day. And in my third year I do it about once in every two-three days, but now i started doing it everyday again.

I would go online and watch porn and masterbate. Then after I've done it, I would regret it. But I CANT STOP IT. The longest i ever stopped masterbating is 3 weeks.....

I started when i was 12 years old. Now i m 16 going on 17.  
I WANT TO MASTERBATE RIGHT NOW.... I THINK BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS I WOULD  HAD DONE IT LIKE 3 times or probably even 9 times.

I WANT TO KNOW WHY I STARTED DOING IT AGAIN

[Ashamed Cracker]

First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for the support for others that I have seen here. You recognize that this is a real problem, and needs to be corrected.
Secondly, I too, unfortunately suffer from masterbation. I have tried different ways, all unsuccessful. I have only been able to stay away from it for about a month, sometimes not even a week.
This is something that is very hard for me to admit to, even though I have never met any of you, however the guilt and shame needs to end. I am going to try the breathing excersise with hopes, but am not sure on the result. I also have tried praying, but my problem becomes very serious.
You see, I actually don't fantasize and then start, infact I don't fantasize at all. I'll be on the internet just talking to friends or whatever, then out of no where a thought pops in my mind. Just the word "Chick" or "Young" or anything associated with a female will pop into my mind, and then I can literally feel the hormones pumping down my neck. Soon after this I am not myself anymore. It seriously feels like the devil himself takes over and does whatever, download this and look at that, I've tried fighting it, but am afraid that my will power may be not enough. This "posession" continues until I hit my high point (the can't turn back now point) and when I'm finished there's this overwhelming feeling of shame, sadness, and I just feel like I've let so many people down, including God.
I too, suffer from a lot of side effects. I didn't link them to it until reading this site. I get headaches that seem to almost impair my head, my memory seems to be almost nothing, my wife can say something to me and I wont even recall the conversation. My nose is now stuffed up on and off through the day with no explanation (until now), and there's others. I feel horrible and I also think my wife may think something is up because of the irratableness, but I think she just thinks it stress.
I have also smelt the odor, I don't reek of it, but the stench of shame rises to me after I finish, and through-out the day/night.

I think first we need to stick together with it, after all, there are strength in numbers, and with something so strong...I think we need it.
Also, any other suggestions on how to restrain/stop? I know the only way is cold turkey, but any suggestions on how to stay away from it and still resume a normal life?

Thanks...

[Dokar]

Sorry if I am repeating something someone may have already said.

I am married myself,  to the hottest woman you could ever imagine:), yet I still masturbate at least once a day.  I can even masturbate and have sex in the same day.  

The odor you mention, I have that, but I can only smell it if I pull back the skin on my penis.  My best assumption is since I am NOT circumsized it seems to keep the smell in check, since it's like a barrier that stops the smell, oh yes this VERY strong smell remains but it can only be smelled if I were to peel my foreskin back, other wise it can't be smelled.

Perhaps that's why we were born with a foreskin.....It protects the penis and many other things, people who are circumsized also lose MAJOR sensativity after awhile, since without the foreskin to keep the head of the penis moisturized, the sensativity in the head of the penis falls dramatically always being exposed to air that dries the head of your penis out, which isn't natural:)  Circumsizions are only used for religious reasons.  It saddens me so many people have this done when they are born and get no choice in it.  It's has also been proven that removal of the foreskin later in life is MUCH MUCH MUCH more effective.  Woo went rambling there.

Also, several ways to decrease your libido.  First, I recommed Paxil, let me tell you, on Paxil for me...The time released anyway, it dropped my sex drive at least 80%.  Muscle relaxers can help, since it makes it harder to keep an erection hard and long enough to be pleasurable.  Narcotics may not reduce your sex drive as much, but they will numb you so much that you'll have to masturbate about 10 times longer to ejaculate, which causes chafing sometimes, again this makes you feel like you don't need to.

Personally, I don't fantasize when masturbating.  I must always be watching some kind of porn to masturbate, sure I can masturbate without it, but it doesn't seem worth it:)  I still enjoy sex with my wife as well.

There is another method (illegal), but it's only an end result of withdrawl from chronic marijuana smoking.  Seems like a bad approach though since you'd have to do it a lot for a long time, and while on it you'd probably have massive sexual desires.  I can tell you this though from experience, Chronic marijuana withdrawl will destroy any sex drive...along with appetite.  The affects do go away and you would feel horny again, but maybe in that time period where the thought of sex makes you nauseas may be enough to keep you off of it long enough to break the addiction.  THis is illegal and not recommended, I just thought I would share on what I have learned involving masturbation and this drug:)

Masturbation is healthy even if done once every day.  Beware though, you will probably find it very hard to get an erection or enjoy yourself during sex with another woman.  I can tell you from experience sometimes masturbating feels much better than the real deal, which can become habit forming.

I find that if I make myself come to orgasm very quickly it is not NEARLY as enjoyable, and this may help ween you off as well. I consider sex and masturabation to not be far from one another in pleasure.  Before I met my wife I could easilly live without sex, since I enjoyed masturbation so much, although I was interested in real sex:)  Hell sometimes I enjoy masturbation more than actual sex, but only sometimes:)

My wife developed the smell you speak of, little did we know it was caused by bacteria, hell she had it her whole life and had no idea.  She was prescribed "Flagellin" Not sure if that's spelled right:)  It instantly cleared it up in just 2 pills, and it hasn't come back since.  Smells are usually associated with bacteria so the drug I mentioned above my help.  Not sure if it's for women only.

Shaving your gentialia area will reduce smell as well, as the pubic hair for some reason has a very strong odor.

Another idea, IF you have the mental capacity to hold your ejactulation for a very long time while the penis is still being stimulated, eventually you'll begin to go limp and your penis will start to ache, and if you do it long enough the thought of continuing with the masterbation makes you feel ill.  Mostly due to holding the ejaculation in many many times preventing yourself from it, the pleasure is gone, and you don't want to continue with it.

Please note I am not a DR.  These are just the experiences I have had with this type of topic, hope I was of any help:)

[Ashamed Cracker]

It has been 2 days since my post and my last time. I have felt the urge but was able to fight it. I found that (when you can rembember to use it) the breathing excerise, oddly enough, works out ok. I think it's because it's keeping your mind off of it, I'm not quite sure, but I think it is worth a try.
If anyone else has any suggestions, please post, we are in need.

[Ashamed Cracker]

Didn't see the comment, sorry. I hate to say but I see your suggestions a bit, well, morbid. I'd like to ween off of this and still be able to have kids, some of us are married you know. Anyway, the problem I see with pills is the fact that 1) you need to take them, which isn't so bad, as long as you feel you have a problem that can't be controlled by you. 2) once you go off the pills, eventually the drive will come back, it's like a diet, as soon as you're off of it, your old habits will come back, and personally, I don't want to stay on pills or drugs the rest of my life.
However, the most effective thing I've actually found so far was this breathing excersise you can do. You can find it at http://www.arfalfa.com/ScienceOfBreath/ScienceBreath.htm. There is a specific chapter for it, and when the urge comes, try to remember to do this, and it helps...a lot.

Also Dokar, your comment to your religous comment. I'd actually hate to have what you have. I'd hate the fact that a smell is just building and building underneath the forskin of my penis and when it is pulled back, it is released...I'd feel horrible and sick to my stomach if my wife were to do that and smelt that. Another thing, I'm not sure about you, but I don't have my penis out that long in order to get 'dry' on my head. The sensitivity my be low, but there are also a lot of down sides to having that foreskin, many in which include, bacteria, infection, and just many problems/complications that can occur by having it. It also can keep too much moisture down there, and then it's just like a petre dish.

Anyway, done with the ranting, and still holding strong, I can feel it, but just going to turn away and go to bed.