what am i suppose to do?

[rhee87]

About 5 years ago mum and dad told me that dad wasn't my real father. It was a shock but deep down i already knew. However mum didn't explain who my real father was and what happened, and i couldn't ask dad because he didn't know much about it either. Mum wouldn't tell me anything until last year. I desperately wanted to know and she finally gave in. She basically told me that i was an accident and that she was going to give me away but she didn't, which is a good thing. But i've been feeling really depressed more then usual since i found out. Not to mention that before this i was already emotionally unstable. I've been thinking, maybe i wasn't meant to be born? I don't know what to do with my life...its pointless.....i'm so confused about everything.

[rhee87]

Thank you all for your replies. It did make me think better...but I'm still upset about it...I want to know who he is and if I have any other family.

[Poo44clooner]

I can only imagine how devastating this news must be for you. But you must look at this in the positive light that although you were an "accident" they chose to keep you and not give you away or destroy you.......they kept you alive because they loved you. He may not be your biological father but loved and treated you like a daughter and that means a lot. My daughter's biological father ignores my 16y/o and she is devastated by that. So in a sense you are very lucky, providing you were treated well during your childhood.
Hope you feel better,
Angela

[mklarson]

Hi rhee87,

  I know you will think I am crazy for saying this, but in many ways you have it even better than many kids with both biological parents. Let me explain; First, your mother had the option of giving you up but CHOSE to keep you and love you. Second, your current father has CHOSEN to be your father and love you even though you are not from "his loins". You are truly blessed with your parents even though it may not feel like it at times. I am guessing you are still in your teens which is in my opinion are the toughest years of life.  The good news is it gets better in a few years so hold on, I was 25 before my life seemed like it had real value and meaning. Now, I have my own great family and three advanced degrees that are medically related, allowing me to help others. Joy is were you find it, and it is important to keep positive things/people in your life while staying away from that which drags you down. If you belong to a church, become active in a youth group, if not try to find something that helps others in need.  A part of my greatest joy and worth comes from helping others with my time and skills.  Try not to focus on what you don't have, but what you DO have.  Take the first step into the next phase of your life, it may be a bit scary or rough at times but set a goal and start the path knowing you have parents that love you!