Advice

I am a 49 year old women who is active and a happy mother to three kids.  Just some days I feel so depressed and start crying for no reason at all then I start feeling angry at the world and always seem to be worrying what people think of me etc.  Deep inside I feel like I have lost all my confidence and zest for life and it seems such a struggle.  I was thinking it maybe the menopause or other symptoms.  I really do not want to start on drugs my mother was a manic depressive and growing up I saw what all the drugs did to her.  Any ideas would be gratefully received.

Thank you

[meniere135]

I've been feeling the same way.  I'm 47 and also stuck in perimenopause.  I've been a happy person my whole life, even if the world is falling down around me.  Not anymore!
Now I feel depressed most days.  I don't want to get out of bed.  I feel like I need naps more often than not to get through the rest of my day.  I could cry at the drop of a pin most times.  Then I become irritable and snappy (I was NEVER like that).  My attention span is out the window.  My memory stinks now.  I have no drive to do anything.  Everything overwhelms me!  This perimenopause and menopause thing, for most of us, is cruel torture!  You could go visit your gynecologist and ask him to run some bloodwork to see where you are...if menopause is around the corner (unless you already rounded that corner).  Tell him  your problem with medications and what you fear happening.  Maybe they could give you some hormonal replacement.  See what they say.  Maybe they will also check your thyroid, as this is a common time for that to drop off!  Hang in there!  Many of us feel like we are going crazy at this time in life.

[4Maddie44]

If it is the menopause, then kazy is right, HRT can work wonders for that.  Would you rather suffer all these distressing things, rather than take medication to relieve them?  I took HRT for 13 years, as I had an early menopause, without any ill effects.

Obviously only a doctor can help you with this.  Don't put up with this any longer.

[mammo]

Get checked out, there is a lot of debate as to whether or not emotional disorders are hereditary.  They do know that watching a parent suffer like you did can play a role in you developing similar problems.  Think long and hard about HRT and weigh the pros and cons.  They carry as many problems as medication for depression and/or anxiety.  Menopause is different for everyone, but this could also be depression. See an Endocrinologist to check your thyroid and hormone levels.  Talk to him/her about HRT.
I was thrown into menopause with a hysterectomy and refused HRT and did just fine.  Don't assume anything, get checked out so you know for sure what you are dealing with. Good luck and take care!

[kazy180]

Hi Ladies,

Thank you so much for your info its nice to know I'm not alone in all this.  I have just had blood work done and she said I'm going through the start of menopause but I honestly never realised it would so intense.  I bought some herbal medication a couple days ago and this is helping calm things down a bit.  But if the effects get worse I will go back.  We have to knuckle down and get on with things I guess...lol.

[4Maddie44]

I do hope you feel better soon.  Let us know how you get on.

[kazy180]

I will do and thank you so much for your support.

[needadvice10910]

I have a similar story but wasn't smart enough to get this type of advice.  I have been on anti-depressants for 12 yrs.  My recommendation would be to try fish oil.  Start out with two1000 mg twice a day for a total of four a day.  They really helped me.

[kazy180]

and you 4Maddie44 we have to all stick together in times like this and its nice to know we have friends for support and just someone to talk too it means a lot.  Being out here in USA having lived in UK most of my life is hard too and I miss my family and close friends just to talk to and have fun with.  But I know I should be grateful and happy with my life.  Hugs to everyone out there you are not alone.

[4Maddie44]

Hi, Are you British by birth?  I live in Dorset, UK, and have made friends with quite a few ladies in USA through this site, and a couple of others.  I have even met a lady on the dog site who lives 6 miles from me, and we are now friends.

When I was going through my menopause at 44, other things happened in my life, my nother died, my marriage ended, and HRT certainly took away the hot flushes, which were bad.  No other bad side effects with menopause though.

Had depression a long time now, and thank goodness for anti-depressant which helps so much.

Good luck in your lives dear friends.