Are my meds making me worse?

[Spectrals]

Serequel 100mg
Vyvanse x2 60mg
Pristiq 50mg
Wellbutrin 300mg
Adavan 2-3mg

Age: 17 male
History: been hospitalized twice but no clear diagnosis has ever been made other than ADD and Depression. *suspected mood disorder or sensory modulation disorder.

I've been depressed since 12 but this is just out of control. I can't get to school because I can't wake up and if I do I'm fatigued all day. I constantly feel depressed, like my suffering won't end. I take two vyvanse during the day just to keep my head up and my mood raises for a good 2-3 hours only to drop again, lower than before sometimes. I have terrible headaches at the end of the day and often times find myself irritable. I don't even think the adavan works, if anything I am just slower but feel like ****. and I can't enjoy sex because I can never ejaculate.

I often times feel numb or careless, I value almost nothing in life. Nothing's fun unless I take vyvanse while doing it, otherwise I just rest in bed and try to shutdown my mind. Suicidal thoughts occur every night, I just want my hell to end.

Can anyone tell me, anyone ... What the **** Is wrong with me?

[Stizle]

I see your on Vyvanse 60mg x2 daily??? That's a lot. One idea to talk to your psych or doc about is to lower your dose of Vyvanse and up your Wellbutrin to 350mg. This might help since Wellbutrin targets dopamine receptors instead of seratonin like other ssri. This might help to give you the pleasurable pep you need to get out of the "lifeless void" as I call it and ease up on the dextroamphetamine (speed) that's doing a number on your mental state and your cns state. You could still take your Ativan at the end of the day if you needed to but I bet you would have to regularly if you found a lower dose that's just right for the Vyvanse. See the protocol for stims is "less is more" or the smallest dose possible to get the most desirable effects...you really should not even really notice when your on it, you just naturally perform better. Ah but the docs love to up the dose on ya when you seem to not be getting the initial rush you once got...then the tolerance and dosages go...up..and...up....then you eventually tax out and don't even know who you are anymore....

[Stizle]

Also I failed to mention in my previous post that I too have that dull, lifeless "flat effect" that you refer too, though do to depression all my life that is nothing new for me...it just went to a whole new level when I got on stimulant medication. This stuff is powerful man. It's mechanism is that the amphetamine binds to your dopamine receptors when you take your Vyvanse. It then pushes the dopamine into your system (good feelings/ euphoria), it also keeps it out there instead of allowing your brain to pull it back in to be reused. Well...when all that dopamine gets used up in your system, you have no dopamine left in reserve to carry you through the day...thus the flat, depressed, unmotivated and lifeless crash feeling. This is why you love doing stuff on Vyvanse cause all that dopa is movin and groovin through your brain...but when the 3 hour party stops...your an empty tank.

[Stizle]

I have the same story as you bud. I was always a loner growing up following a chaotic divorce of my parents when I was 5, in which a saw extreme domestic violence leading up the divorce. I meandered through school up until about the age of 12...just like you. I then became extremely reclusive and depressed. I began self medicating at age 14 with cannabis and LSD which put me into a hallucinatory and paranoid state. When I was 15 I was diagnosed by a psych as ADD inattentive type and severe depression. I was put on Ritalin for 4 years and then stopped for 8 years cold turkey, I then started taking Adderall 3 years ago (age 27) to deal with stressors of adult married life with ADD. All I can tell you is that your highs and lows are from the amphetamine in the Vyvanse. This is why you feel good for 3 hours then sh$tty for the rest of the time until your next dose. Here is my me's regiment that works for me...adderall ir 15 mg a.m...then....adderall 15 mg afternoon...then...1 mg Ativan when the afternoon stimulant dose is wearing off for the day. I take the pm adderall does 4 hours after the am dose to "overlap" so no comedown from first does...then when I get the big comedown on its way after the pm does is adderall...I go take my ativan 1 mg which eleviates the crash tremendously to the point I can cook, clean and even exercise instead of staying in bed from 5pm to 6 am the next morning. Stim crashes are hell, and this is why you get more depressed 3 hours after your Vyvanse dose, stims also cause problems with erectile dysfunction and ejaculation..which you are also dealing with. Find a way to circumvent your daily crash by proper dosing schedules as I have... and save ALL your Ativan daily dose until the end of the day.

[therese83]

PLEASE FIND ANOTHER PYSCHIATRIST AND GET A SECOND OPINION!!!!

I have to agree with that, you are sounding very sedated

[Deana1970]

Oh another thing.....serouqel is definetly going to make you sleepy all day and ativan is a benzo which is not only extremely addictive ( I know this because I had to go into detox to get off them) they can cause seizures if stopped after long term use. Wellbutrin is the med I take 300mg and I take it in am it gives me some energy as my depression is the worst in the morning. The other two meds you are on should be ?????...seems like you are over doing your system...please ask for a second opinion and dont do what I did and except all these diagnosises and believe I was just a crazy person who will never be able to live my life like others.I wasted ten years believing I was crazy. I OD on Lithium at 24 and almost died, then at 30 OD on Seroquel and was in ICU for three days before I woke up....Dont get me wrong...meds can be a wonderful help, but they can also be over prescribed and cause the patient to be over medicated. Bad feelings are a part of life...but I use affirmations all the time to get me threw the day. I make a plan for the day the night before and try to accomplish those things on my list..even if it only to get up and shower and make one phone call....before all I did was sleep 24/7 I couldnt even think about showering..it felt so overwhelming...so the list helps motivate me some. PLEASE FIND ANOTHER PYSCHIATRIST AND GET A SECOND OPINION!!!! But do NOT go to the same group or practice in which the doctors work together...they will not disagree with another doctor if they work together....I know because I am a nurse now and see this every single day. Its professional courtesy and it ***** for the patients who are suffering or getting the wrong treatment...doctors do not no everything...they only think they do!!!!!!!!!!

[Deana1970]

When I was your age I had already been hospitalized twice and diagnosised with bi polar, ptsd, and severe anxiety. All the doctors just kept giving me medication and at one point I was on 7 different pysch meds all at once....it was like I was the walking dead. All I did was sleep all day, wonder around the house at 4 am, and thought about killing myself very day to stop the pain. Then after third hospital stay I started cutting to feel anything, anything at all because I was like a numed out zombie. Finally by fourth hospital stay I flat out refused all meds. Of course that landed me in a padded room and they injected me anyway. But when I got out, I found a new pyschiatrist and started over....no meds for one month then went back and got rediagnosised. Come to find out I was not Bi polar. I was just young and impulsive and extremely depressed. I take one pill a day now and although my life is not great, and I still fight the depression, I do not feel like a zombie anymore and can hold down a job and enjoy most of the day. I can not tell you do anything but please consider rethinking all of those meds and maybe get a second opinion from a new doctor...good luck and I will keep you in my prayers. I know life ***** at your age, but it will be better. You just need to take control of your mental health and stop letting people throw diagnosis after diagnosis on you...you may need all those pills, but you may not. All those pills cause fatigue and could be contributing to your depression.