Story of my life...

[Horriblethoughts__]

Hey fellow depressionistas. I'm 12, attending school (sort of) and hating life. I've tried a few attempts at painless suicide and looking for an easy way out. Nobody except the readers of this blog know of my unhappiness (it's amazing what a smile can hide). I'm insecure about my body and the way I look, nothing I do ever seems to be good enough. This is my first post so take it easy, I appreciate any advice I can get...

[shellly11]

Hello. I fell into depression near your age. I was 13 at the time of my first suicide scare. I know what it's like to feel insecure. Because I'm 15 and still depressed and I know it *****. It got worse in high school due to all the big school I attend (over 6,000). I want you to get better, I want you to maybe ask your parents about professional help? Join a sport, club, something! I know that you can create close bonds with people, and maybe you can find someone going through a similar situation! I know I have with my sport! I'm so sorry you have to go through this, especially at such a young age. Stay strong, people truly care about you!

[swabes]

Here you will find many caring, remarkable people who can help so much!

I am so sorry that you are going through your hard battle with anorexia. I too have 'recovered' but I don't like using that word because you never really do recover and relapse always seems to be lurking around the corner. It is a hard battle which takes such will power and strength. Come talk to me any time you like if you need support.
Are you recieving any professional help with regards to your recovery? Ignore the cruel words of others, focus firmly on the positives you have to look forward to. Work hard and you will find happiness again, but you won't find happiness focusing on the teased of cruel and immature peers. Forget them! You're in safe hands here!

[Horriblethoughts__]

Thank you for your reply, it's nice to know people care. I used to be anorexic, but 3 months ago I recovered from that. But I find it hard to put on weight. I get called a slag, an attention seeker, and other things that make me want to crawl up in a ball and cry. I started puberty 1+1/2 ago, but thank you for the theory.

[swabes]

Please understand, I am not trying to undermine your problems and I am sorry you are going through these tough times.
A lot of the things you describle sound like the beginnings of puberty. You would be amazed how many of us have went through the same thing. You know those girls in your class. Skinny? Popular? Considered the bees knees? They are just as insecure, they just hid it well.
Don't worry you are normal and this happens to a lot of people.
Does anyone know about your attempts to take your life? Family or friends? If not its a good idea to tell them and get you set up with a doctor who could help you cope better with what your going through. Or have you already been down this path and been diagnosed with depression?

I am sorry if this is all very overwhelming right now, I'm just trying to find out a little more about your situation!

Hang in there, you'll get through these tough times!