Despise The Way I Look

[soupy616]

I am 52 years old and ever since I can remember, I despise everything about the way I look.  It is torture to look at a photo of myself.  It is torture to look in the mirror (yet I can't stop doing it because there is always something wrong with my hair).  I hate my hair, my body, everything.  Except my ears.  I know this is a sin and a horrible way to be.  I am not overweight and people think I am (ugh!) "adorable."  I have celluilte and my hair never grows right.  I hate my boobs and compare myself to EVERYONE.  I even have nightmares about my hair and body.. I have been to psychiatrists but nothing helps.  I just want to be one of those people that is confident and "comfortable in their own skin."

[opus88]

I am not a very good looking person, over weight..bad skin etc...I sometimes let it bother me but for the most part think take me the way I am or not at all...
BUT on the contrary my 38 yr old son could be a model..he's tall and very good looking, has been a body builder for years and his body is perfect...long story made short here, he absolutely hates the skin he is in...thus the years of bodybuilding and eating well its not for the acceptance of 'others' he seeks its to help him accept himself! and whatever he does or however many girls swoon over him he can't get to like himself or his looks...this isn't a small problem it is an obsession.
what makes someone feel this way when there is no outside reason to do so?

[mammo]

You're welcome.  You sound like a wonderful person on the inside and this truly shines thru to others.  Being called "adorable" is priceless and makes you a beautiful person!  All of us women are truly in the same boat, one day we love our make-up, the next we don't, then the hair, let's not even go there!  I have a friend who is extremely popular, has so many friends and gets invited to everything.  She rarely wears make-up, some days she still has dried drool on her mouth from sleeping, clothes not great, but everyone loves her.  It just goes to show that it's about the inner you that people care about.  It's a very freeing experience to allow yourself to not get caught up in always looking perfect.  I used to really admire women who could run to the store without make-up or doing much to their hair, I always wanted to be like them as they are truly the confident women of the world.  It took me a long time to get to this point, and it really feels good!  Having lost so many loved ones at a young age, also makes me appreciate that I've made it this far, and how blessed I am.  Write anytime, and keep a positive attitude!!

[soupy616]

Yes, it is wearing on me. I love your attitude. I will keep trying.  Thank you.

[mammo]

I am 59 years old, and  know that as women we are our biggest critics. My mother said something to me when I was very young that has stayed with me.  She said to never complain about my looks, as I may end up in a horrible accident and disfigured for life.  So, I have always done whatever, to always look my best, and not complain.  Now I see a lot of lines, and wrinkles and my body is changing, but it's okay. I want to grow old, it sure beats the alternative!  I think you need to find something else to focus on, you seem obcessed with your appearance, and it's really what's inside that counts.  What a blessing for people to think that you are adorable.  We are all unique, and different, but I think you will find very few women who are truly comfortable in their own skin, it's not our nature.  But just be the best you can, and forget about the rest.  You're too hard on yourself.  I have finally reached a point where I go out in public without make-up, what a freeing experience!  I don't judge other women, so I don't feel they are judging me.  We all have the same wants, needs, insecurities, some just hide it better.  Try to relax and enjoy your life, this has got to be wearing on you.