Please help...

[gherkin2pickle]

I have depression and I think it's getting progressively worse. I'm a 13 year old girl, and my arms burn so much right now that I keep dropping my iPod, and the only music I listen to now is songs about depression, self harm, suicide, etc. That's all I find interest in now. It's weird because I don't have anything to be depressed about. I have a great family and friends, I'm not being bullied, I've or good grades, I'm liked by most people, and I don't know what to do!! Please help, I feel something like a panic attack coming on (never had one) and I'm really scared I'm going to do something stupid. Oh god, please help!! I feel so desperate and hopeless. I feel like I fail everybody, including myself. I feel stupid and worthless and I didn't do anything. It just happened. Thanks for reading, please help best you can.

[gherkin2pickle]

Thanks, I am in a better mood today. I spent the night with the friend I tell my problems to. There was another girl there though, so I couldn't talk to her about anything. I was laying down and they found bruises on my neck. I told them I ran into a table while crawling, but I'm sure you know what they're really from. It did lift my spirits, but I'll be in a crappy mood another day, I'm sure. Thanks for giving advice, guys. I'm trying my best to beat it. Promise.

[CRSeaside]

Well that's great. I'm glad you have your band activity. You sound much better today. Take it little by little. You have friends here!  Maxy

[gherkin2pickle]

I do not participate in sports or some type of drama program. The school band is my preferred occupation, which I do extremely well in.

[gherkin2pickle]

There is a trusted friend I talk to who has been through horrors far worse than I have. She's the one I talll to.

[CRSeaside]

First thing is to write a journal about how your mood is during the night & day.
I know you've enjoyed this type of music but it may be time to switch to something new.
  Listen to strong songs of happiness. Winning. Overcoming.
   When you've journaled for a week or so, see if you are more or less depressed before or after meal time. You may need to adjust your diet.
  Is there a drama class at your school? Do you play music, team sports?

[Jayme79]

Hi your self talk has a lot to do with how you feel. You must stop blaming yourself and beating yourself up. You must only speak positively about yourself and not negatively as this feeds depression and it's a vicious cycle. A lot of people (myself included) get depression with no real reasoning behind it and i believe it happens a lot around your age due to all the hormones surging your body.  Is there someone you can talk to about your feelings that can offer you support?