Depressed all the time

[TeeseMe]

I am just wanting some help and advice I think. I feel sad at least 5 times a week and its really getting me down. I feel sorry for myself and I stress at the people I love for silly reasons, I just don't know what to do. I am gettin suicidal thoughts now more and more often an it is even at the point where I get the tablets in front of me and then feel so bad about the people I am leaving behind I cant do it. I am in Uni and the stress from that is intense but everybody around me seems to be coping fine with it! Also I hate my home life, my dad is an alcoholic, and my family all slag me off all the time. I hear them saying things about me and it makes me worse so I go and cry in my room. I have my partner to talk to but recently he has been getting annoyed with the amount of times I am upset in a week. Everyone thinks I am paranoid and over sensitive and my boyfriend just says it will be ok baby on the phone when I call him at work. I usually feel fine in uni but when I get home I am so depressed again, I do cleaning at home as I cant afford the board and I feel like I am my families skivvy. I know I took on the cleaning voluntarily but they just dont do anything at all, such as flushing and wiping the toilet after use. My mum calls me paranoid and lazy when I know I am not, I am probably the least lazy one in this stupid house but I feel so depressed. I dont want to goto the doctors because Im scared it will have an affect on my career after I have finished Uni and I dont want another Label to be honest.

[clairebabes]

Maybe there is more underlying this and until you admit there are more problems than you are saying then this isnt going to go away its about fighting your demons. Your family arnt being very nice to you But then if you took on these chores tell them things have changed And you want them to help you out abit BUT still think about what else could be making you sad. There is always a reason Ive been there!

[BatSheep]

Hey hey,

Darling I was exactly the same as you. I'm in my last year of Uni in London and the first year particularly was utter hell. On my floor in tears the whole time, self-harming and loads of other stuff. I went to hell and back but still managed to pass my first year and got a 2.1 in my second year!

First of all, I'm not telling you to 'stop being so stupid' with the suicidal thoughts because I've been there too. But if you can just try to put them to one side for the moment... literally in your mind push them to the side and focus on other things.

With depression it is usually a biological factor in the brain that is causing it or an external factor, death of a loved one etc etc... With you it seems to be a mixture of both.

I too remember that feeling of being the only one under so much stress and everyone else seems fine but I promise you they're not!

Don't worry if your boyfriend seems unsympathetic, some people just don't 'get it' and they say stuff like 'pull yourself together', it's not that they don't care they just don't understand, so all you can really ask from them is patience.

As for your home life, I wouldn't ever advise anyone to come clean to their parents simply because I don't know them. But one thing I will say is 9 times out of 10 the reaction is a lot more positive than you think. When I told mine they were amazing and we're closer now.

As for your dad's alcoholism is that something he's getting help for? I know it sounds selfish but try to focus on yourself for the moment. Get your uni work done and stay safe.

So what are you studying and what year are you in? Something where you need a clean bill off health? Because I've been to loads of doctors and hospitals because of this and nobody's ever gonna know after I finish Uni... How do you think future employers will find out?

Well, I hope some of that is useful, if you like, I can message you my email ad or msn or something... I can also probably help a bit with advise on where to get help. And what's all this about a label?! Don't worry about stuff like that; semantics!!!

Hope you're ok

xox