Is there something wrong with me?

[lilmisscaroline]

I need to know if there is something mentally wrong with me.
I'm 19 years old and for the past couple of years have been on/off counseling and anti-depressants which both didn't work so i stopped them.
I feel very lonely, and find it hard to make friends as i never seem to know what to say to them. I feel like a shell thats empty and just sitting there with them.
People do tell me 'stop looking so depressed', when i feel i'm not doing anything wrong, or 'your so quiet.say something'.
I never seem to click with anyone anymore (especially girls).
I have no motivation, even though i'd love to have some and just don't seem as 'normal' or 'happy' as others my age.
Alcohol seems to make it worse now as-well, it just makes me angry or get even quieter. It also brings out major paranoia issues out when i sometimes hear people say bad things about me and i'm not sure if they really are or not.
I just wish i had another 19 year olds life.
I know I'm shy and lack a lot of confidence but I really want to change that and just don't know how to.
I'm scared that I will always be like this. If so, what a waste of a life.

Do i have mental problems or am I literally just a really boring person?

Please help.
Thanks

[space_ghost]

hello there.
im in the very similar condition
i suffer from extreme anxiety to the point where i havent been outside the house for 2 months
im paranoid about reality, people say im wrong but in my shoes they'd be wrong
depression is not as bad as before, but the hopeless feeling of REAL friends is bad
and the lonleyness is horrible,
i say all this because YOU are really not the only one
and it could be alot worse

heres my advice
HOBBIES
get LOTS OF HOBBIES
from comedy movies to collecting diferent movements of music (limewire dude)
Get an XBOX or a guitar
i wouldnt suggest porn though
too addictive and always on the mind
music id say is the best, if you dont know any, i will tell you what bands to listen to haha.   working out and stay healthy, and even pluckin the eyebrows a bit
LIKE Go to the mirror and fix up how you like till your just like damnn i totally tap that
Then
Get into something sooo much
that it is always on your mind to the point that you can talk to anybody with confidence about what YOU love
and when people see that you are loving something
things will change

Best of wishes

[Hensley258]

Well, from what you said....Yes you sound like a young person that is suffering from major depression.

About the meds....You have not even touched the tip of the iceburg with med treatment.
So you had a couple meds that failed. I have failed on over 20.

Finding the right med combination is more an art than a science. It takes a very skilled Psychiatrist to link you up with the right meds that will make you feel better.

It also takes time. Many times in my life I was ready to give up on a particular medication after only 4 weeks, but it kicked in at the 7th week and at a different dosage.

Every year or so I still must make med changes because they stop working, but that's just par for the course with this disease. You just do your best to stay one step ahead of it.

[mammo]

I do think you need to go back on medication, you may have been on one that just wasn't doing the job, and there are many others your doctor can try.  You do have symptoms of depression.  Shyness can actually work for you in the fact that it may make you appear confident, no need to prove yourself.  I was told this by many people once they got to know me. To conquer my severe shyness, I just threw all caution to the wind, and started saying whatever was on my mind, instead of over-analyzing how it would be accepted.  It amazed me how even strangers were eager to talk to me.  I figured, I have no friends now, what could I lose, plus I knew a person that went just the opposite and said things that were hurtful, just blunt, but had a ton of friends.  I think they appreciated her honesty with them, where I was always in fear of hurting someone's feelings and making them not like me.  Avoid the alcohol, it's not helping.  Just be yourself, and say what you think.  Your lack of motivation is definitely depression, so I would see your doctor again and start fresh.  If after a month on medication, you aren't feeling any better, let your doctor know this, until he/she can find the righ meds for you.  You have a life to live, don't let all this stop you from enjoying it!