Im not normally a depressed person, but Ive been really depressed the past several months since I had an abortion. At the time I felt the decision was right, I had just finished high school when I got pregnant by an older guy who I wasnt even really dating. I was still searching for a full time job and i knew there was no way i could support a baby and knew the guy/father was going to skip out - so I exersized my choice, and drove myself to get an abortion not long after my 18th birthday.
Most of the time I try not to think about it, and Im not on any depression medication or anything since I dont have health insurance and partly because my thoughts over it kinda come and go. alot of times I just end up chainsmoking more and more and trying to ignore it until it goes away. But for some reason the past few weeks have hit me really hard and have me down.
Did you tell/have you told anyone about the abortion? A friend, a sibling? Holding in anything this huge and life-changing can absolutely cause anxiety and even depression, due to both the severity of the decision and the isolation you feel in keeping it to yourself. Not having a support system, even if it's just one person to share your burden, can be devastating. You looked at the facts and what would best benefit your future and you made the right decision, but logic and emotion have a shaky relationship; you may still encounter residual emotions about your choice, even though it was the right one for you.
I think the best thing you can do for yourself is confide in someone you trust, preferably someone who's gone through the same ordeal, and talk about how you've been feeling--get to the root of WHY you're so upset. Was it the loss of control you felt at the unexpected pregnancy? Was it the maternal feelings you began to have when your pregnancy hormones kicked in? Talk about it. It's so simple but it really does help a lot. Be strong and good luck! You can beat this!
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